Taylor Hall doesn't think a destroyed slice of chocolate cake, a broken bed and his line-mates wearing his clothes necessarily means anything. The rest of the team don't agree.

Patrick writes his name on Jonny's to-send Christmas cards. It leads to feelings.

Ryan supposes that’s fair, if he was dating someone, he wouldn’t have put so much thought into choreographing a threesome either.

AKA the one with the phone sex. In which Kaner finds out Jonny wants to fuck him and is pretty okay with that turn of events. Phone sex, picnic baskets, crazy eyes, hockey and insanity ensue.

Normally, Laura is perfectly willing to delicately coach her baby brother through the endless labyrinth of his emotional manpain, but Laura’s dissertation is due in two days and she just flat out doesn’t have the time.

For the longest time this fic was unofficially titled 'Kaner's not a hooker but Tazer probably wants him to be', and I really can't think of a better way to summarise it than that. Many words of Tazer fantasising, pining, jerking off, and paying for sex, because that's apparently how he rolls.

And of course, because Sharpy is the most ill-mannered Canadian ever, he opens up the newspaper like he doesn't have the most entertaining thing in Chicago across the table from him anyway. He's totally pretending to read it, just to make Patrick salty, but two can play at that game, so he snatches the Sunday inserts out of the folds, smirking at Sharpy. But he glances down and staring up at him, looking like, all of eighteen and strangely soft and sweet is Jonathan fucking Toews.

They've been hooking up for more than a year, undefined and mostly unspoken, when Johnny first speaks French in bed with Kaner.

In which Patrick Kane gets a little hysterically obsessed with Jonathan Toews' sexual prowess.

Kaner tries to fuck his way out of love. That goes as well as you might imagine. That's my summary. But liketheroad's summary is also applicable: In which THERE IS A BACHELOR AUCTION TO SAVE ALL THE PUPPIES OF CHICAGO AND TAZER IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO SAVE THOSE PUPPIES AND KANER TRIES TO FUCK HIS WAY OUT OF LOVE BUT OH TOO BAD FOR YOU KANER, YOU HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS FOR THAT.

sometimes you have to go down before you can go out.

Patrick knows the Blackhawks have been not-so-subtly shopping around for someone who could bond with number-three-draft-pick Jonathan Toews, but it’s still a little weird for him to be sitting down with a couple of their suits in a conference room he didn’t even know existed.

It's the first time Gou has seen Samezuka's captain in a swimsuit. It's the first time Seijuurou's seen her in a swimsuit. It's clear both of them are ill-equipped to handle this situation. Shameless fluff, blushing, and muscle-appreciation. Written for a kink meme prompt: "So Seijuurou is the captain of the Samezuka team. Gou is the manager of the Iwatobi one. Both teams compete together. Cue the two of them seeing each other at a meet, both only wearing swimwear, and nearly going into cardiac arrest over each other."

Kink meme prompt: Rin has a nightly visitor in his dorm room. They don't notice that Nitori is very much awake on the top bunk of the bed and listening to everything that's going on below him. 'Perhaps he should set up a throwaway email address and anonymously send Rin a link to the Amazon page for the Kama Sutra. Or Sex For Dummies. Or maybe one of those children’s toys with the colorful shaped pegs that fit into matching holes.' Basically, Rin is pretty much the worst roommate ever.

Stiles would say his relationship with Derek is about fifteen percent empty threats, thirty percent sass, ten percent avoiding violence together, and five percent eyebrows. If anyone asked, he would say the remaining forty percent is mutual orgasms. It’s a good thing no one ever asks.

What it says on the tin. Canon-AU for Season 3 (obvs the finale hasn't aired yet so no real confirmation that it's canon-compliant)

Pornstars Derek and Stiles work for the same company. Derek only shoots with werewolves and Stiles only shoots with humans. That's not going to change after they meet. It's really not. (It might.)

All Derek wanted was for the woman to leave him alone and ring up his groceries. How that led to her thinking Stiles is his boyfriend is something he blames on Stiles and his inability to stay out of trouble for five minutes.

“Ah, yeah, Desiree, I told you I was meeting someone. Well, that someone is Derek. My boyfriend. We’re totally in love.” His heart was racing and Derek was holding him so tight it was difficult to turn enough to face the young woman. What he did see of her had his breath catching on fishhooks in his throat. She was normally a relatively pretty girl, with cute round cheeks and large dark eyes, but in that moment she looked…terrifying. Her cheeks seemed gaunt, her eyes glowing like they were little windows peeking into a deep pit of raging flame. (Or: Five or so years after the show. Stiles is in college, and finds himself getting stalked by a succubus. Derek's determined that the best way to thwart her is to prove that he and Stiles are madly in love. It's not really as much of an act as either seems to think.)

Appreciate him without sounding patronizing. Somehow. Refrain from smacking him. Make him laugh. Don't do this at someone else's expense. Maybe at your own. Be seen with him. Show him you're willing to be seen in public associating with him. Initiate conversation - show you want to talk to him. Do not allow him to think you just want something from him. Even if you do. Feed him. Not junk food. Show you can provide for him? Isaac had added (un)helpful additions, such as 'Don't leave dead animals on his porch!' in response to number five, underlining 'Don't do this at someone else's expense' twice, and 'Why are you writing a list to yourself in second person? The fact you want Stiles is your worst kept secret'.

When Clint Barton put on the Captain America costume for a mission, he didn't count on Phil Coulson's reaction. Coulson didn't count on Clint crashing his new team to do something about it.

If Derek’s life were a romantic comedy—which it’s really, really not, what with all the murder, mayhem, and supernatural elements—it would inevitably feature the moment when Erica brings Stiles home and he and sees, for the first time ever, not a gawky, uncoordinated teenager with a penchant for graphic tees and plaid, but a young man, taller than Derek now, with broad shoulders and large, capable hands that finally match the rest of him. Stiles would be walking down a staircase in slow-motion and Derek would feel the world tilt on its axis while his entire perspective on life underwent a paradigm shift. Stiles would be looking at something or someone else, and he’d laugh before his gaze shifted back to Derek and when their eyes met, it would feel like being struck by lightning. Like getting hit by the thunderbolt.

He promised Oshie he would make the fucking audition tape, so he did. And against all fucking odds, he got a callback from a woman who sounded like even she couldn’t believe she was making the call. Because that’s Jonny’s life now. or, a Bachelor AU, where film star Patrick Kane is going on 88 Dates and Jonny goes on more than a few of them.

Kaner kicks off his twenty-eighth birthday party with an exponential crisis. Jonny frowns at him. “You’re having a crisis of ever-more-rapidly-increasing numbers?”

I said, will you marry me?

"I bet you a hundred bucks," Sharpy says, gesturing with his drink to punctuate how very serious he is about this suggestion, "that I can pick up the next person who walks in that door before you can." Duncan Keith probably shouldn't have taken that bet.

five times Patrick Kane unsuccessfully flirted with other Olympic athletes, and one time he didn't get shot down. with Kane being cheesy and persistent but not creepy or coercive? het and/or slash bonus points for Kaner trying to flirt with both Lamoureux sisters (either separately or together) and crashing and burning miserably :P

Author's summary: Pat's relationship with the media has been fraught since she was drafted, second round, home to Buffalo. Her relationship with her new Captain, when she eventually winds up in Chicago a couple of years later, doesn't start off a whole lot better. But by the time she's flying back from Biel, she's willing to admit that she had missed their thing just a little, weird as he's always been around her.

There's a lot of different ways this summary could go, like: Patrick Kane gets more than a gold medal in Sochi. Or, the classic: It's too late to pull out now. Or: Patrick Kane continues to thrive in high pressure situations. Or: Patrick Kane gets knocked up, goes to White Castle, and finds love, not necessarily in that order. But, ultimately, all that really matters is this: Patrick Kane is keeping his baby.

It's not until after he's pulled the whole thing off that Jason realizes what a stupid move it was.

"Didn't you know, Jason?" Tim says, voice light and taking on that tone that their public personas use, "I'm a winter. Lavender is my color."

They're monsters, but what better to hunt a monster than another? A tale of two ANBU: otherwise known as the life and times of Hound, the Hokage's ever-loyal dog, aka Hatake Kakashi, and Owl, the hunter that flies on silent, deadly wings, aka Umino Iruka

In which Derek and Stiles are college roommates, and everyone saw this coming before they did. “How do you even get up there?” Scott asks skeptically. Loft beds are tricky enough on their own, he doesn’t know what possessed Derek and Stiles to push theirs together. Why would anybody try to create a king-sized loft bed in a teensy tiny dorm room?

They are enemies before the Inquisition brings them together. When the tension of unexpected camaraderie gives way to something more, Dorian learns that the Iron Bull is almost nothing like what he expected. It leaves one to wonder: what does the future hold for a Tevinter mage and a Qunari ex-Ben Hasrath agent?

Krem’s grin fades into a quiet smirk, his eyes warm and amused, and Cullen does not forget how to move his legs because he is a grown man, a leader of soldiers, commander of the Inquisition’s army. He breaks the silence by coughing loudly, because he is also an imbecile. Series

He's not sure why people think him above desire. Cullen's a man and as weak to it as any other man in the world. He's just much worse at expressing it than others.

Written for the Free! Kink Meme: "maybe rei starts helping rin study for a certain subject that he's bad at, rin helps rei with clothes-shopping, and it eventually escalates to rin teaching rei how to kiss and then they make out and possibly do other sexy things, and it probably takes them both a while to realize that they have totally been dating this whole time."

Cisco fixes things that are broken, like super-suits and hearts. It's what friends do, right?

"The art of love will be my challenge. We are going to measure our prowess as men. I challenge you to a battle to determine which of us is the better lover!"

Patrick had a letter written on his wrist when he was born, small and even in black pen-print. Well, technically it started to show up a day after he was born, like a bruise that takes time to settle in. Patrick doesn’t remember, obviously, but his parents will tell him whenever he asks, how small it was and how it just... faded in, a little ‘J’.

College!AU, wherein Jason accidentally texts the wrong number one day and things just sort of spiral from that.

Cougar accidentally finds out Jensen gets aroused really easily. He gets curious.

Explosions, broken toes, and blood transfusions, or, the long and mostly-incompetent courtship of Cougar by Jensen.

Zoro is a cambion, which means he feeds on sexual energy. A small crew like the Strawhats, its not normally enough to keep a cambion satisfied, but Sanji happens to be an abnormally sexually driven cook so it usually works out okay for Zoro. At least, it works out alright until Sanji finds out that Zoro's been taking energy from him through his dreams. For Sanji, he's trying to wade through the confusing mess of emotions for a certain marimo after a surprise kiss on the battle feild. It's not easy to do on a normal basis. It certainly isn't any easier when the man he has deeper feelings for is a cambion. Then everyone learns how important it is to keep their local cambion fed, for if they don't, someone might get eaten. literally.

Zoro and Sanji are fighting. And that’s not really a surprise, exactly, because Zoro and Sanji are always fighting. But it’s different, this time. This time, it’s not physical, and Sanji isn’t up in Zoro’s face yelling and screaming and calling him names. There’s no swiping of polished katanas against the lithe swing of powerful legs. It’s not physical combat. This time, Sanji’s fighting with silent avoidance and quiet resignation. This time, their entire nakamaship may be on the line. And this time, Zoro doesn’t know how to fight back. OR There’s something wrong with Sanji, but Zoro doesn’t know what it is or why it’s happened – why they’ve suddenly stopped brawling and hating each other left, right and centre. All he knows is that he has to fix it, or this Sanji – the Sanji that’s sunken and tired and so, so sad - may never go away.

Sara Crispino, thirstiest virgin in Barcelona, decides to get rejected by pretty much half the skating world. Mila Babicheva, nursing the world's worst Straight Girl Crush in recent history, is just along for the ride.

It's one thing for your parents you don't see that often to think you're dating your friend. It's another for the brother you live with to think that too.

Tim is bad at feelings, so he instigates a prank war. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Katsuki sits cross-legged, clearly in no hurry to go anywhere. “What’s your name? I’m –” “I know who you are,” he cuts him off, then blushes, then hates himself for both those things. Katsuki looks surprised, and Yuri can’t think as to why. He’s a nationally ranked figure skater. He’s Yuri’s favorite figure skater. ~ Yuuri and Yuri become friends and Viktor develops a crush.

Bakugou Katsuki, in typical fashion, makes a brash decision that changes his life irrevocably. Anger has always had a way of bringing Bakugou what he wants, though. He just hadn't realized dating someone would be so fucking difficult. (Or, that one where Bakugou agrees to pretend to date Todoroki just to piss off Endeavor, and ends up falling in love instead.)