Kaner walks in on his two best friends and for some reason he decides not to walk back out. Starring: possible actual sex god Patrick Sharp, Captain Seriously into being tied up, and a Kaner who never says no (just like the real thing!)

Marcus’s replacement comes with a mess of blonde curls, big baby blues, soft pink lips, and a spot of acne. He also looks like he’s two years shy from graduating high school. Sharpy says, “He’s eighteen.” Jonny gives him a look. “I checked his birth certificate myself.” Jonny rolls his eyes. “He wrote ‘aggressively bisexual’ in the preferences section of his application.”

Wolffe looks like he’s regretting having a second Jedi with them. 

Fox has the galaxy’s greatest hero in his bed, he’s well-fed, he’s astonishingly well-rested, and he has a whole week of leave saved up that starts in about six hours, during which no one is allowed to bother him with anything work-related even if Coruscant gets invaded by brain-stealing worms. Again. He made sure Thorn and Thire both knew that. Which makes it ten times as unpleasant to wake up to someone bypassing the chime entirely and just pounding right on his door.

When Obi-Wan was five years old, the Masters cut his hair. When he was ten, Obi-Wan was shuffled into the Human Adolescent Biology class with the other humans his age and stared pointedly at the wall just behind the Master’s left shoulder. Obi-Wan faces some uncomfortable and anxious personal situations and isn't quite sure what to do.

If someone was intending to assemble a team of heroes to help save the day, they rather missed the mark, in Granta's opinion.

Aka Darth Talon, Arla Fett, and Xanatos break the timestream. It isn't the worst thing that could happen.

For Patrick, half the point of coming out was to finally be able to have decent sex. He just wasn't expecting it to be with Jonny.

When Dark Woman orders him to fall in the name of finding the Sith Lord and ending the war, Jon obeys the way he always does. If it's in the name of saving more lives, he can believe it's worth it, no matter what he has to do. Rex and Cody getting dragged down with him was never something he intended.

“That's three,” Oshie says, none of Jonny's smugness but all of his confidence. “Whatcha gonna give me for four, Kaner?” Pat really wishes he had his mouthguard, something to spin and lick, except he probably shouldn't be distracting Oshie right now, so he just shoulders him and says, “Fuck four; you win this for us, you get to ask for anything.” Series

Patrick's text says: sometimes all I can think about is rubbing my dick all over your tits. It's not meant for Jonny, but maybe he wishes it were.

Quiet, easygoing Yagi who prods his fingertips together when he’s nervous and afraid of saying the wrong thing. He has a cheerful little bit of praise for every student, and makes a point of complimenting his coworkers; Nedzu’s lustrous fur, Nemuri’s manicured nails, Hizashi’s latest show. He’s the gentle structural support of All Might left bare, who he knows and has started to begrudgingly respect as a teacher. He's the last person Shouta would expect to see here. But fuck, he's hot.

Fox has a second chance, a to-do list, a stolen lightsaber, and a complete willingness to give everyone around him grey hairs. And a Jedi Master to seduce. It's going to be a ride.

The Republic falls in the span of a day. Xanatos, desperate to keep his son out of the line of fire, makes a reckless deal with the new emperor, whose face he's never seen. But there are dark secrets behind the emperor's fury and prophecies that won't let themselves be thwarted, and Xanatos is nothing but a pawn in a far greater game.

“Sure you've got enough in there, Senator?” Cody asks, warily eyeing the crate two of his brand-new aides drop with a heavy thud. “There's more on my ship if I need it,” Padmé says mildly, and when Cody turns his wary gaze on her instead, she smiles, perfectly demure. “Captain Rex was kind enough to stand in for you when I visited my favorite tailor. A senator needs a wardrobe, after all.”

Padmé hears the sharp, ragged gasp, and she’s already turning when Fives jerks up off the bed, on his feet in an instant. A fist lashes out, almost too quick to see, but Padmé catches it, twists, pulls, and when Fives staggers, he falls right into her with a cry. “Easy,” Padmé says, and catches him, holds him up as he gets his bearings. “You’re all right, I swear. You’re safe, Fives.”

“Hells, 17, I think your lady friend is trying to show us all up—” “Shut your mouth,” Alpha snaps, though it’s a hell of a lot more true than he would like right now.

“Please tell me you're paying attention, Echo, this is not the second you should start taking after Fives.”

“Dragons that lay eggs, are more properly referred to as Dragonkind. They grow to be ten feet tall, walk on two legs, are...somewhat humanoid, and they have a single sex.” “So the same dragon lays the eggs and fertilizes them?” “Hm.” “...I’m still missing something.” “Dragonkind need a host to incubate their eggs for the first few hours after laying.” “Ohh, so the sheepskin and hot water bottle is to keep it snug while you’re holding it against your chest. I see. Bit of a cuddle.” “No, Jaskier.” “...they lay the egg, and then you cuddle it, and they, er. Fertilize it while you’re curled around it? Bit sticky, still doesn’t explain the size of the reward.” “No, Jaskier.” Geralt added thoughtfully, after a moment. “And the one in this territory uses ‘he.’ Not they.” “He. Good to know. Well gods damn it then, Geralt, why don’t you explain to me in direct language where little dragons come from then?”

Jaime looked back at Robb with rage blazing through him and said, low and utterly flat, “The next time I see you, Stark, I’ll kill you.” “The next time I see you, Ser Jaime,” Robb said, “if you ask nicely, I’ll do it again.”

Theon has some interesting family traits. He didn't expect Robb to be quite so understanding.

Robb is leaving tomorrow, but he's here for tonight. Even if Jon and Theon aren't using him as thoroughly as they could be.

Theon loses a bet that means, for the first time, Jon gets to fuck him, rather than the other way around. He assumes Jon will treat him as roughly as he's always treated Jon. This proves incorrect.

Gendry gets invited back for drinks with his boyfriend and his boyfriend's cousin and his boyfriend's cousin's boyfriend, and then things get... out of hand.

"It's not like he's noticing anything you're doing. Face it Greyjoy: when he's on top like that, you could be anyone in the world and he'd enjoy fucking himself on you just as much.” In which Theon is easily manipulated, Jon is a smug git about it, and Robb would like to get off at some point.

tim drake-wayne [verified] | @timdrake over a year ago i asked bruce what company policy on transitioning was like and yet this man was still surprised when i came out 6:11PM · Oct 23, 2020 5.6k Retweets | 43.8k Likes tim drake-wayne [verified] | @timdrake yes dad it was the concerned curiosity of an ally. that’s why i stayed up until 4AM writing revisions 6:11PM · Oct 23, 2020 4.4k Retweets | 39k Likes tim drake-wayne [verified] | @timdrake obviously i love @dick and would have done it just for hir. also obviously i am trans. 6:12PM · Oct 23, 2020 11.2k Retweets | 49.2k Likes

Neither Jon nor Robb will ever be what they want to, but Robb will let Jon treat him as such, anyway.

When Jon realises where Theon's looking though, he turns bright red and hurriedly covers himself with his hands. “What are you staring at?!” Theon forces his jaw to close again. Great, now the bastard's going to think I'm some sort of deviant. Well it's his bloody fault; if he's going to show off that monster he should expect the odd glance. “Nothing Snow, just figuring something out,” he says, forcing his usual mocking tone, “I know your heritage is a bit of a mystery, but I think you might be part-centaur.” At Jon's bewildered look, he rolls his eyes. “Because you've got a horse's cock between your legs.”

Team Seven excels at two things: lying and long term planning. Kakashi wishes someone had told him that.

What would Game of Thrones have been like with a strong, empowered Sansa?

After Joffrey beheads Ned Stark, and his engagement to Sansa is broken, he decides to host a tournament, with the prize being Sansa's hand in marriage. When Jaime Lannister shows up at the last minute to win it, she's afraid she'll be stuck in King's Landing until Joffrey's cruelty does her in. But Jaime made a promise and, one way or another, Lannisters always pay their debts.

Margaery goes back in time. She marries a Baratheon. Again. This time, she’ll make it stick.

When Cullen finds himself back in Kirkwall he's faced with several questions. Who should he tell, what should he say, and how is he going to fix Kirkwall before things get out of hand. Again. Time-travel fix-it where things go better but not great, because it's still Kirkwall after all. Alternative title: The real treasure is the friends we make along the way (and the slavers we kill with them)

While cut off from the GAR during an extended campaign, Obi-Wan discovers an infant and a sense of self-preservation.

After dying on the Death Star, Obi-Wan Kenobi expects to; well, die. Instead, he wakes up in the initiate dorms at the Coruscant Temple. The Force has sent him back in time, given him a second chance, and he knows what he needs to do. At twelve years old, his life is at a crossroads. Does he apprentice to Qui-Gon Jinn or does he join the AgriCorps. He knows the fate of the galaxy if he chooses the former and so he dedicates himself to the latter. Only, the Force works in mysterious ways. When a third option is presented, becoming Yan Dooku's Padawan, Obi-Wan has to make a decision. With a new master and a new chance, Obi-Wan is determined to save the galaxy from Sidious's plans for it.

Vokara speaks before he can. “I didn’t come here for your permission. I don’t need it. I am a Master Healer, and it is my right to take an apprentice.” “And you want Obi-Wan Kenobi?” Mace Windu asks. “Yes,” Vokara answers. Or, Obi-Wan is wanted, becomes a healer, and this changes everything.

They were made for the Jedi. That’s the party line, anyway, and Rex says, “Yes, sir” because he was trained by the best, but he doesn’t believe it. And then Knight Kenobi becomes part of the 501st. He wears beskar’gam and headbutts droids and one time he confesses that the last time he fought in a war, he had to leave the Order to do it. Rex still doesn’t believe that he and his brothers were made for the Jedi, but he thinks maybe, this Jedi was made for them. Or, the one where Torrent is Like That, and Cody blames them for all his premature gray hairs.

Jaime Lannister drives her sword through Aerys's back to save a kingdom. When her father's armies sack the city and kill those she was sworn to protect, she flees King's Landing, unsure what to do. On her way to Dorne, she runs into Ned Stark who hands her a baby and a purpose, protect the Targaryen heir. A Jaime Lannister redemption story.

When Obi-Wan chose to fight for the Young, he left behind the only life he'd ever known, and the only dream he had ever wanted. On Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Child of No Clan, finds purpose and finds family, and begins a journey which will change the shape of his life and the galaxy in ways he'll never fully understand. Or, the one where Obi-Wan is adopted by True Mandalorians off Melida/Daan. Featuring: teenage shenanigans, pet strill, Force teleportation, first love, and found family.

“How you feeling, sir?” he asked, eyeing his General. They’d, at least, managed to all evac back to the shuttles without losing anyone, leaving the noxious-smelling laboratory where they’d found a pack of Seppy scientists working on new biological weapons behind. “I’ll be fine, Commander,” Obi-Wan said, without opening his eyes, his voice thick and hoarse. “But comm ahead, would you, and make sure the medics are ready for me.” OR, the one were Obi-Wan gets dosed with an especially nasty toxin, and Cody helps him survive the following hours.

Commander Ponds whirls around at the sound of Mace’s step and bolts up to his feet. He begs Mace not to take Boba back to Kamino. He says that he’ll look after him. He’ll take responsibility. With hands pressed together, he pleads for mercy for his brother. Mace tells him not to be ridiculous. Of course he isn’t taking Boba back to Kamino. He’s waiting, that’s all. It is only fair to give everyone a second chance. Even Jango Fett. (An AU where Mace Windu acquires and shares custody over a six-year-old Boba with Jango.)

“I see hearts. I sing people their deepest desires. You, for example.” Gabriel rolls his head to the side, damp curls bouncing over his eyes as he looks up at Jack. “You’re an adventurer. You want a new challenge, a frontier to try yourself against.” He reaches up one dark-clawed hand to trace it down Jack’s face. He’s as mysterious and mesmerizing as any of his promises, and Jack doesn’t pull away.