"Well of fuckin' course troll JKR wasn't forced ta have Voldie be a fake sea dweller with magicked-on fins in the end, he was a fake who was aimin' higher than his station in life all along, this is the only readin' that makes any sense! If he were a real sea dweller then his motive for offin' the landdwellers makes zero fuckin' sense! An' his lack a any true class, are you even serious?" "I find it remarkable that a single being should be so consistently and hugely self-blind," Rose mused, and bared her teeth in a pleasant (not) grin. -- Anonymous asked: Rose spade/diamond Eridan, the differences between troll and human Harry Potter.

Contains Pail-Free Xenosexual Relationships Between a Male Mutant Troll and Male Human for the Purpose of Exhibitionistic Sexual Gratification, Polyquadranted Individuals Presented in a Neutral or Positive Way, and Puppets Used in Several Perverted Ways, One of Those Puppets Depicting a Rad as Fuck Big-Nosed Allusion to Our Glorious Empress, Which She in Her Wisdom Has Allowed to Keep Existing Because Damn Straig)(t I Got Da Biggest One.

The only thing that saves them is that even in the throes of berserk rage Kankri has no clue how to fight.

So, um. Terezi is kissing her. By the way. "Wowza. Lesbos R Us, at long last. I knew that day would come. Anyone got a camera." Terezi has a lot more teeth to get nibbly with than Karkat and her tongue is way longer and oh lord does she know how to use it. Jade wonders to herself, vaguely, why she never kissed her boyfriends' girlfriend before. That was a really silly oversight. Mmm. "Haha, shut up, Dave, you've been modeling for the Gay Dudes R You catalogue for like three years now." "Like you can talk, Mister It's Not Gay If He Doesn't Have Balls To Touch." -- oneshot, plus a couple of ficlet sequels.

"If you're hitting on me, queue's to your left," Dave replies, and then he looks. The man has nice arms. Solid shoulders, strong biceps. Baby face still, baby-blue eyes in the white strobe lights and friendly dimples. Someone got him with funny cat-whiskers paint that's just subtle enough to tickle Dave's funny bone, but with a body like that he's got to be at least twenty. "What, no!" The man blushes so hard Dave can see his face darken even through the flashing lighting and dim of the dance floor. He actually honest-to-God flails his hands, what a dork. "I just -- argh, and you totally know that, don't you?" -- Anonymous asked: Dave/Naruto, hooking up at a house party (papabrostrider is to blame for this one)

Wherein, Having Beaten A Game, All Players Are Taken Back To The Same, Worst Available Universe, With Species Changes To Match For Those Who Did Not Match Beforehand. In short: You're all trolls now, welcome to Alternia.

Davepetasprite takes up an old hobby in a new medium.

If Bro had smiled, even once...

Rose said later that "I was really fucking bored" was insufficient explanation or indeed justification for the First Triennial Human/Troll Flashstepping Competition. (Now with a tiny sequel!)

The 'verse in which Steve used to be a sex worker, Steve and Bucky have always been polyamorous bisexuals, the Barbershop Quartet OT4 is an actual open-poly quartet, and Steve cycles through all the Avengers (except you, Tony.)

Bucky spends part of his recovery in a collection of hoodies and baggy pajama pants, writing explicit fanfiction on AO3 and Tumblr.

In which a case of early-morning mistaken identity goes very, very right.

My MCU fanart. And to challenge myself, I'm writing a ficlet to go with every single piece.

The Leverage crew run into a new friend, find some buried treasure, and fight some Nazis. It's a pretty good day.

Jackson has long since admitted that he likes being pushed around. (or: five times jackson whittemore takes it like a pro, because he likes to.)

to the place where your horses run free

Five lives Arya Stark had with Gendry Waters, and the one that she didn't. Or, (This is how she meets a man with a mop of black hair and eyes the colour of the seas who is quiet and strong and tall where she is loud and brash and small.)

When Tyrion neglects to impregnate Sansa with the heir to Winterfell, Tywin decides to take matters into his own hands. But Sansa is no longer a little Northern dove; she is a Lannister with nothing left to lose.

The common folk whisper about the Council of Kings and Queens that rules over Westeros. They whisper that they are the Seven reborn.

A super-cracky modern!AU where Akatsuki is a group of quasi-reformed terrorists and former suicide squad now (nominally) on the side of the angels, saving the planet their own way. Mostly accidentally. Or through recycling. (That's entirely Obito's fault.)

Brienne looks like the perfect portrait of a knight, kneeling in supplication before her lady.

plotless pointless, not quite full blown first time smut, Renly centric character bit

She has no care of the Iron Throne--yet, and then only who sits on it, leave her be. She is going to reclaim her home, the place she once despaired of, dreaming of the sun and songs of the south. She was a Stark of Winterfell, there had always been a Stark at Winterfell, tales Old Nan told if the Starks lost Winterfell for good, the winter would win. Her mother scoffed at the tales, Sansa had as well, but whispers are on the cold wind. Winter is Coming. She was going to see the Spring.

Steve didn't know you could go to college to study movies.

Tony has an idea how he can bring the team a little closer together, now that they're scattered all over the globe again... and runs away with it a little bit. (Or, the Avengers get their own personal social media platform courtesy of Stark Industries and have some fun with it.)

Stiles doesn't actually mean to become Beacon Hills High's go-to guy for free condoms and sex advice. It just happens.

Jackson has long since admitted that he likes being pushed around. (or: five times jackson whittemore takes it like a pro, because he likes to.

Derek is only too aware of his destiny - choose a calling, ascend to the pantheon of gods that the rest of his family is a part of. Trouble is, though, he can't seem to decide where to focus his strengths, shies away from the power and responsibility thrust upon him and prefers to escape and to watch the progress of humanity throughout time. He feels a bigger affinity with the humans than with his own kind, and revels in watching the fragile, mortal creatures he loves so much embody all the traits he holds dear. It's a passing hobby, that is, until he catches a glimpse of someone who demands his attention like no other.

Somebody from Yu Yu Hakusho sees somebody from Lord of the Rings get off the subway at a secret stop that doesn’t exist. And follows them.

"Nothing was ever built where Haven had stood."

"The Enterprise’s newest security officer reports aboard."

The Finer Details of Gay Cluckbeast by clumsyoctopus Unwanted Free Ugly Troll by coldhope / ceruleancynic Cronus: embrace humanity. by Laylah / cyphercat (crocodile) Kankri: learn from humanity by Laylah / cyphercat The ‘Verse in Which Dirk is Anime Horatio Caine by sumomomochi (whale)

After they're captured by Red Templars, Vivienne saves Blackwall from rape.

Female Cullen is married off to Hanar, an Avvar chief, in order to secure passage through the Frostback Basin. She struggles to come to grips with her new life as she become pregnant far earlier than expected, and struggles with the depression of being tossed aside as a pawn. Slowly, she and Hanar find their way together, and Cullen finds a home.

A snowstorm forces Cullen, Bull, and Dorian to confront the history they share. Together they find a new way forward.

In order to save his home, The Iron Bull returns to work as a professional Dom for a company known only as Inquisition. Dorian Pavus, known by the code name of Urthemiel within the Inqusition's carefully guarded walls, is considered a difficult client, and placed with The Iron Bull in the hopes that he can help. Together, they build something better than they were before.

Vanessa comes home to find Wade in a world of pain. She helps him take it over the edge to something he can deal with.

Wade and Vanessa have a Real Adult Conversation. With nudity!

You’re alone, you’re on your own So what? Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours? The thing that he expected: Kicking Hotaru off the team for his own safety. The thing that he didn’t prepare for: Literally everything else that happened in the next twenty-four hours.

Kanae had never wanted a friend as badly as she wanted Hotaru. She had strong, platonic feelings towards her. (Problem is, they’re not platonic. Problem is, she doesn’t realize it.)

Hotaru has dreams about Matsuoka and Yukimura. They’re totally platonic. Up until they’re not, and Hotaru ends up wondering what they’d all be like together. Even that totally wouldn’t happen. Because they’re not dating her. Y’know. Yet.

How the Princess Kanae fell in love with the young knightling Hotaru.

Once upon a time there was virginal, chaste Kagome. And then there wasn't.

Kmeme prompt: Zevran and Alistair are in a room. There weapons are gone and neither of them can pick locks. The room has only one door very heavy door, no windows, a bed and a jar of oil on the nightstand. Not too odd yeah? Only problem, they have both been dosed with a strong aphrodisiac. Started as a very simple PWP and then ... grew. Like kudzu.

From a prompt on the kmeme: Two DA characters of your choice roleplay two other DA characters.

From a prompt on the kmeme: It seems to this OP that Isabela's gender often becomes an overwhelming aspect of her character. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it got OP to wondering about how Isabela would be both different and the same if she were a man. How would her companions and the world around her respond? Could be an AU in which Isabela was always a man or a magical accident that turns her into a man. Sweet, serious or utterly cracktastic fine by OP. Any, many or no LI just dandy. Artfill or fic would be excellent.

Dear god, I just needed to write some PWP. The ever-lovely flutiebear suggested this prompt. Seamus gets deflowered by either Hawke or Anders... The one not deflowering...assists.

It was just Rodney's luck that the guy with the strongest expression of the ATA gene on Earth was some lanky alpha who couldn't follow an order as basic as "don't touch anything."

Oberyn Martell knows how to handle a spear, say the whisperers; he is a vicious fighter and his blade is always poisoned. It’s hardly surprising, then, that poisoned, too, is his invitation. (Missing scene set during A Storm of Swords)

“Now about that gift I got you, remember how you’ve been all wistful about your concupiscent quadrants? Well I got you something to fix that.” “What,” Karkat said blankly. “Gamzee no, tell me you didn’t get me sex toys.” The good news is that it's not sextoys The bad news is that it's a person.