Petunia married a professor, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, introducing strange new opportunities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell.

Making a dick joke was a strategic error. You put the subject on the metaphorical table. You're now thinking about troll dick.

For the meme. Tavros grows wings.

Dean didn't get there first. That's okay; hell, that's the way he wanted it. He never even cared—until he stumbled over some stupid freaking fanfic about him taking Sam's virginity. Now he can't get it out of his head. This fic takes place during season 6, post-06x12, "Like a Virgin," pre-06x20, "The Man Who Would Be King."