What it says on the box.

When the Beacon Hills lacrosse team made a bet with the Beacon Hills cheerleading squad, Stiles should have recognized the smirks on the girls' faces and stopped the whole thing right there.

Steve has fantasies about Tony being an omega, very sexy fantasies...

Stiles starts bringing drumsticks to Pack gatherings, sitting himself on the edge of the group to tap out maddening rhythms on his knees as the werewolves train. The first time he’d pulled them out, spinning one stick in a showy twirl between his fingers, Derek had actually staggered a little, missed a basic move, and ended up on his back blinking up at fucking Jackson, of all people.

So the first time Stiles got Derek on his back, worked him open and pressed inside with the long exhale of a perfect fit, he wasn't expecting the sound. Sure when they exchange handjobs, or blowjobs, or any other kind of orgasm, Derek can get a little vocal – sometimes even demanding in a hesitant sort of way – but the deep moans, the sharp grunts, the cursing and the constant use of Stiles' name was not expected.

Since Harry developed the unfortunate ability to smell magic, his life has been a series of scent-induced headaches…until the night he finds a mysterious wizard in a sun-scented Glamour.

Jean would just like to make it absolutely clear that making out with Eren was an accident. An accident he is currently still having.

Is it even possible for penises to develop Stockholm syndrome?

Tyler thought things would be different in Dallas. He just had no idea how different it could be.

He keeps the aqun-asala powder in a jar on his dressing table. Every three months he spoons some of it into a mug and mixes it into the water with his finger. It's supposed to be tasteless, but when he swallows it down it lingers on his tongue, affects the taste of anything else he eats for the next couple days, mutes everything. He gets a kick outta eating spicy shit all lackadaisically and offering it to people, and acting surprised when it burns their mouths. (When he explains it to Sera, after she's stopped crying and threatening to stab him with one of his own horns, she thinks it's hilarious — tries to talk him into letting her have enough to prank people, actually. He knows exactly how much is left in the jar though, and he's not sure he's ever gonna get more... so she has to make do with sitting next to him and watching.) "So it keeps you from losing it, huh?" she asks, glaring down into her empty flagon like she doesn't know where the beer got off to. "No squishy pffff—" she puffs up her cheeks and sets the flagon down, curving her hands into a circle and then moving them apart, "—for the qunari pokers?"

“Fuck,” John says, admiringly. He enjoys giving women head, but this is something else altogether. This is devotion beyond the call of duty. This is fucking worshiping at the altar of Mary Morstan.

"Okay," Eric says, "but you've got to be quiet, sweetheart. You know how thin these walls are."

jack zimmermann and eric bittle may or may not be dating. kent parson may or may not still be hung up on jack zimmermann. they all definitely have some sex. a trilogy.

Bacchus says the Percy and Jason having sex will be a suitable sacrifice to get him to help them defeat the giant twins. These two fics show two different scenarios for how that could play out.

Tony’s almost at the door of his lab when he hears it. It’s low, throaty; just a split second of a thing. But it’s undoubtedly the sound of Barnes moaning.

Halward's blood magic ritual wasn't intended to change Dorian's orientation, it was intended to change his sex. When Dorian escapes and leaves the ritual half-completed, he leaves with a surprise: he can become pregnant, but without the necessary mechanisms in place... it's slowly killing him.

“You want me to marry a Soporata?”

After saving an illegally enslaved apostate mage from an Orlesian noble, The Iron Bull finds himself with a new member of the Chargers. Dorian, his magic and his voice bound, is a beautiful and enigmatic addition to his team, and soon finds himself close to his new family. Swept up in the Inquisition after a plea from a friend, The Iron Bull and Dorian find themselves carefully dancing around the ideas of home, family, love, and what it means to truly be free. As The Iron Bull wrestles with the Qun and what it will cost him, Dorian comes to grips with his past as both Altus and slave, and together they begin paving the way for a future neither expected.

Jackson has long since admitted that he likes being pushed around. (or: five times jackson whittemore takes it like a pro, because he likes to.)

Dave and Karkat have storytime with the trollmance novel. -If Dave isn’t going to get jolly over some fantasy troll getting eaten out, he is maybe going to get a little jolly over Karkat getting jolly over some fantasy troll getting eaten out.-

He pushes off the bed in one smooth motion, and your bloodpusher skips a beat as he takes a step towards you. “Really.” “If, if you’re trying to imply anything lewd—” “Lewd? Seriously? You sound like Zahhak.” Another step. Your voice is too shrill when you ask, “But are you?” He braces one hand against the wall over your shoulder, tilts his head to the side, and smirks in that infuriating, awful way. “What do you think?”

In order to save his home, The Iron Bull returns to work as a professional Dom for a company known only as Inquisition. Dorian Pavus, known by the code name of Urthemiel within the Inqusition's carefully guarded walls, is considered a difficult client, and placed with The Iron Bull in the hopes that he can help. Together, they build something better than they were before.

Jackson has long since admitted that he likes being pushed around. (or: five times jackson whittemore takes it like a pro, because he likes to.

"You have pretty legs, Yuuri."

Dorian enjoys being fingered while Bull watches television and Bull certainly has no complaints.

Care and fucking of your lispy bipolar nerd.

Eridan's right. This guy is so bangable, and you're going to be the one to do it. ...just as soon as you can manage to make that whole 'words' thing work again.

In a world where Omegas far outnumber Alphas, a dowry system is in place. The Omega’s family offers a dowry in order to secure a respectable Alpha match, with the highest dowries netting the “best” Alphas. Aunt May struggles to secure an Alpha for her Omega nephew’s first heat. All her meager savings can afford is a butt-ugly (by his own admission) Alpha without much experience to speak of. Peter would rather go unmated than lose his virginity to a guy that can’t go five seconds without making a Monty Python reference. However, it seems Peter has no choice…

Being away from Earth means going without heat suppressants. This proves to be a problem for Lance who has been avoiding his heats since puberty. Lucky for him Shiro and Keith are willing to help. “I thought that was why you were being such a jerk.” Keith’s feet shuffled over over the carpet. “You know. Another omega in your space?” “No, I just really find you annoying.”

“Mayu, please, Mayu – ” Mikoshiba’s mind feels heavy and slow, tiny whining whimpers punctuate the pauses in between his moans as he clutches Mayu’s shoulders in a vice grip. His jaw is unhinged and there’s a fair bit of drool dribbling out of his mouth, his cheeks are a bright red due to the fact that he can’t keep his mouth closed and embarrassing noises keep trickling out.

"Viktor." "Hm?" "Choke me."

Conner has a very specific fantasy in mind. He wants Tim to watch, and Tim is more than glad to do so.

“Stop freaking out,” Malia whispers, rubbing herself against him. It’s not really in an intentionally hot way, more like the way that dogs and cats rub themselves against you because they want pets, but she’s naked, and Stiles is a perfectly functional teenage boy sandwiched between two very hot people. Who are in his bed. “I’m not freaking out,” he whispers back furiously, voice too high to be steady. “Are you freaking out? And oh yeah, important question. Why is Derek Hale in my bed?”

“Asia sucked without you,” Yuri admits eventually after a moment, as he falls backwards onto the bed, his t-shirt riding up. It must be still hot in Saint Petersburg, if the forecast is to be believed, but Yuri has the hood up, obscuring his face at this angle. “But we all went back to the hot spring run by Katsuki’s family after the Fukuoka show, so I guess it wasn’t that bad.” A story of a relationship, told in photographs and Skype calls.

He'd let Levi have as much of his time as he wanted.

Keith and Shiro play chicken. Sex chicken. Everybody wins. "What do you think you're doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing?" Shiro has an excellent poker face; it doesn't even flicker when he says, "Demonstrating the male version of the human reproductive system. Why are you doing it on my lap?"

Mei’s had dreams that weren’t as good as this.

That’s why when they’ve found themselves face to face on the ring of the sport festival once more, for the third time ever since they’ve met each other, and Izuku smiled at him, eager and challenging, self-confident but never full of himself, Shouto blinked, dazed and shocked, in realizing just how blindingly beautiful his best friend was. The way Izuku’s white shirt clung on his muscles, the little peek of his collar bone and the hard lines of his pecs visible under it, the way his thighs curved and filled the school gym uniform. ‘Oh, fuck—‘ Shouto thought, his head spinning, feeling like he just got run over by a freight train. ‘Shit. He’s- hot?’

The breakup starts with Magnus. Well, no, it doesn’t. The breakup starts when Alec finally says the words “I’m gay,” and Jace says “Okay?” and Alec looks at Magnus, out and proud, and happy, and he knows that he wants that. He wants to be able to hold hands, and kiss, and have sex without worrying about leaving hickeys where they might be seen. Or: Alec wants a public relationship. He can't do that with Jace, so they break up, not very cleanly. Magnus steps in, and then Jace gets jealous.

Short fics originally posted to my Tumblr, edited and collected here.

Anne and Dan want to help Eddie and Venom find a new source of phenethylamine. Did you know it’s produced by a bacterium commonly found in human genitals? That’s a FACT.

Simone grins wider and runs her other hand through his hair. “Okay, here’s your warning. You’re gonna eat me out, and then I’m gonna ride you.” Brian’s dick twitches in her hand and Pat groans from the bed and she laughs. “Seems like everyone thinks that’s a great idea, so…”

Five times the #1 headliner All Might and underground scrub Eraserhead teamed up, and one time they didn't. Unfortunately, the first time they meet, both heroes are already high on weaponized ecstasy – or Dust, as it's known on the street. Let the good times roll.

All Might – Toshinori – fakes it. All the time, every time, because he has to. Aizawa thinks lying and liars are the most exhausting things in life, so of course he didn't expect to fall in love, but here they are.

“It’s just not manly to leave your bro like this, after knowing he can’t do anything about it, you know?” Kirishima blabbers some kind of bullshit excuse, and the worst part is that it looks like he’s totally convinced of it. “It’s just a— handjob,” he stumbles over the word, the weight of what he’s proposing hitting him all at once, but he doesn’t stop. “—but if you're not into it we can pretend I didn't just say that.” Bakugou has to restrain himself from saying that he’s very much into it. Like, a lot, really. a.k.a Kirishima learns the reason behind Bakugou's grumpiest days, and he offers to help because that's what best bros do.

Every royal is given Retainers. These Retainers are expected to attend to your every need, even the ones behind closed doors. This is a story examining Prince Noct's relationship with his three Retainers, told in segments and timeskips across several chapters.

“I already told you, I’m not gonna break, you don’t have to go slow.” “What if I want to, though?” Kirishima murmurs quietly. “What if I wanna take my time with you?” Bakugou shivers.

”I’d like to tie you up.” A laugh bubbled out of Wei Wuxian at the unexpected words, and he turned further in his spot to lean over the table and so get closer to his husband. Ink and paper were quickly forgotten on the floor. ”Like with your ribbon? I liked that,” he said, grinning up at Lan Wangji, who was sitting perfectly straight as always. ”No. Properly.”

It happens a few more times, always with just the thinnest veneer of bro-y joking, until Xiao Zhan figures this is just a thing they do sometimes. Casual sexting among friends must just be something Yibo needs, and Xiao Zhan is selfishly glad he gets to provide it for him. He doesn't think about who else Yibo might have figured out as well as he's figured out Xiao Zhan, who else might get to do this with Yibo.

Jiang Cheng is a survivor--his strength has seen him through the death of his parents, the destruction and rebuilding of Lotus Pier, and the loss of both of his siblings. Nie Huaisang can't imagine the weight that still lingers--and he'll do everything he can to unload it, piece by piece. Even if he has to start with something as simple as teaching him that there's nothing wrong with being soft.