Parker takes the Second Act Rehabilitation Center therapist's advice seriously.

"Let me guess," House said, slamming the door shut behind him. "It hurts really really bad, do I have something for that in my magic doctor bag?"

"Sit-down, Harris. You. Me. After school."

Bowman's bright idea has unexpected results.

Maybe it doesn't have to be so complicated, after all.

after shotgunning weed, usa's short track team decide to play truth or dare. somebody dares jr to makeout with apolo, leading to hot, sweaty, awesome sex. don't worry about everyone else in the room, the rest of the team passed out.

Directly after takeoff to the new session, Dave tries to adjust to the strange customs of the trolls, the havoc of romantic miscommunications, and recent past events, which continue to linger with all of them. It's hard to begin an entirely new life.

The halls of the Gods are empty, echoing with unheard prayers. The forces of corruption and decay are growing in power. Soon they shall sweep across the world like an unholy plague. From the deep caverns beneath the majestic Dragonshard Mountains, across the mighty Greenweald Forest, to the fair city of Porthaven on the storm-wracked coast, there are fourteen people with the mark of a divine ruler on their skin. They do not know it, but they and only they can save the world from apocalypse and ruin. So naturally, they're going to spend as long as possible arsing about slaying monsters and looting ancient temples. 'Cos, you know, adventurers.

In which young Church ward Gamzee Makara is finally old enough to be officially initiated into the ranks of the subjugglators.

'There's a whole other story, about that, a girl with mirrors over her eyes and a man who was scared to care about anything.'

In which all of Gamzee's complicated relationships, with his lusus, with sopor and with Karkat, come to a head.

Overhead, light flows across the ceiling, expanding and contracting like a slow pulse matching his own. His eyes are heavy and growing heavier with as indeterminate time passes. The pile of clothes under him shifts, his back arches further to accommodate it, he's drifting, comfortable and pulsing like these little specks of light on the ceiling. Slow and dimmed at first, Gamzee becomes aware of of his hand lying on his stomach.

eridan is so tolerable when he can't talk

"You want a motherfucking guide, chica?" "No," you say, and it comes out flatter than you meant it to. "I'd have to want to go somewhere for that." He doesn't pester you to get moving, like an NPC should. Instead he kind of laughs, and you want to believe it's sympathetic. "Well, here, then," he says. He stands up—and up, and up, jeez, he's like seven feet tall at least—and holds out the cigarette to you. "How about a sister up and joins me for a smoke? Good for chilling out all them head bees."

The pack asks Stiles to find a way to get Derek to chill out. This is the best he can come up with.

It just wasn't like that.

Adam pushed himself up and loomed up over Kris, his eyes heavy-lidded in glitter and shadow, predatory and smiling. Written for queenbitchfest, inspired by "Ziggy Stardust".

Dean goes to pick Sam up from Stanford and ends up finding more than he bargained for.

You haven't ever felt bad to pail a brother or sister before, but for some reason you look down on his strange, angry, nubby-horned little face and it hurts inside you, hurts like a motherfucker. In a universe where the hemospectrum is long-abolished but never forgotten and the descendants of ancient rebels are looked to as the leaders, a tired purple-blood drowning in his drugs find a lonely mutant on the run from his bloodline, in the wrong place, for all the wrong reasons. Series

In which John has his first real homocrush and does stupid shit in effort to alleviate it. (extra:topodfic applies to the first 2 fics in the series)

Jack didn't forget anything. He lost everything. It set him down a different path than the one the Moon had intended. A darker, more violent one.

Movieverse. Speed's a brilliant engineer and athlete. He could have such brilliant futures ahead of him, but "your son seems to be interested in only one thing."

Steve's not sure where he is, or how he got there, or why there's a tentacle there, but at least he's having fun.

Being a casual drug user's best friend is the opposite of going to meetings.

Eliot watches, fascinated, as Hardison brings the joint to his lips and inhales, making the lit end burn bright and cherry-red for several long seconds.

Five times Jack Zimmermann came out of the closet.

Left to his own devices, Jack wouldn’t ever choose texting as a form of communication.

Dave says, bouncing his heel on your thigh for attention, “Are you drunk? Holy shit, are you— like, are you tripping out? Did Rose just roofie you with her pretentious fuckin’ leaf water? Oh my god.” “Oh my god,” Rose repeats, and colors brilliantly across her cheeks, blood coursing bright and close under her skin.

In which Deadpool kidnaps Clint off a battlefield and takes him on a roadtrip. A shooting roadtrip. OK, fine. A shooting people roadtrip. Don't be so cranky about it.

Sanji doesn't think much will come out of his one-sided crush on the green-haired tiger. After all, he's only seen him a handful of times. At least, until they become roommates.

This was really, really not normal behavior for Gerard - not for real, normal Gerard, and it was even a little abrupt for the imaginary Gerard who lived in Frank's head and came out during his Special Alone Times with his dick.

The Golden Ending for SBurb has been realized and thanks to some careful time jimmying, everyone's ended up in the same timeline and the same present. Including the Trolls. Which can be a little, uh, complicated. Started out as wondering about a family of Striders that included Davesprite and Lil Hal and Alpha Dave, ended up expanding into a massive and strange thing of beauty. Includes an homage to Asukerian's one armed Davesprite with her gracious permission. These are written in whatever order we want but we promise to make sure they're put in mostly chronological order here on the series hub. (mostly because Time Shenanigans) CANON COMPLIANT UP TO THE GIGAPAUSE.

Eliot watches, fascinated, as Hardison brings the joint to his lips and inhales, making the lit end burn bright and cherry-red for several long seconds.

Gokudera told them so.

Law suffers some well-deserved revenge from Ceasar following the events of Punk Hazard, and it's up to Kid to help him out. Set after the current events of the manga (~chapter 717 as of this posting).

After extraction from a mission gone awry, Wufei notices some unusual side effects. After recruiting Heero to find a cure, Wufei just has to wait it out until a solution is found. And remember it's entirely synthetic... For the Gundam Wing End of Summer Tropefest 2017.

Vanya was never the only one that felt lonely and uncared for in this family. Klaus has some things to say before she tries to bring this world to an end. And hey, maybe those things will convince her not to.

Klaus, he reads, fingers shaking along the edge of the page of his sister's book, was a very eccentric child. He could also see ghosts. This, he thinks, is very spot on. (Klaus outs himself on live television when he’s fourteen, and the past never really goes away. Publicity's a bitch.)

Patrick figures it's a little late in his life for these kinds of realizations. Brian, though, has a way of making him want things he'd never thought possible.

While the Asset is in the middle of an experimentation session with the Chem Sci department, an emergency happens in another lab. One of the other experimental creatures escaped its containment cell and the Asset is ordered to go take care of it. He's hosed off, plugged up, geared up, and sent upstairs post-haste to deal with the problem. Unfortunately, the Asset is still flush with drugs that make him incredibly aroused. When the escaped creature notices, he takes an interest. Much to the Asset's delight.

Lan Xichen's boyfriend comes over all the time, but he doesn't stay long. (Or, Wei Wuxian is the only one anyone knows who is comfortable showing himself in a dispensary. This leads to an obvious misunderstanding with big stoner Lan Xichen's straight-edge brother.) (Or: Lan Zhan finds out the fun way that he likes to fuck stoned.)

“I would still like to be kissed,” Wangji says, and his hand is very hot on Lan Xichen’s cheek. Perhaps one of them has a fever, or they both do. He opens his mouth to ask if they should open the window for some cool air. His brother kisses him as if that is what Lan Xichen had intended. He will not be sure, later, whether it was.

Nie Huaisang blinks his big dark eyes open and scoots closer, thighs bumping against the outside of Nie Mingjue's hips. "I don't feel anything yet," he says. "Can you give me some more?"

Sui Zhou watches as Li Zilong hooks a finger through the ring of the kid’s collar to pull him down onto the seat beside him. The kid opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out. Li Zilong places a fat, baby blue pill onto it. The kid closes his mouth but Li Zilong doesn't let him move away, still holding on to the ring in his collar. He lifts up his drink and holds it up to the kid’s lips. The kid struggles to swallow it all. Some liquid spills out and drips down his chin. When it’s over he sticks his tongue out again, showing Li Zilong his empty mouth. Li Zilong pats him lightly on the cheek and shoves him away. / In which Sui Zhou goes to a party, meets a boy and takes him home.

“It’s Friday night,” Yanli says, a warm teasing note in her voice. “Shouldn’t you be doing something more fun than studying chemistry?” “What are you doing?” Wen Qing asks, stung. “You’re just hanging out in your dorm, right?” “Mm,” Yanli says, the warmth still in her voice. Wen Qing can almost imagine her stretching like a cat as she says it, one of those long dancer’s legs lifting high. It’s a hot night; maybe she’s wearing those tiny grey stretch shorts she wears when she comes right from dance class to the dining hall, barely peeking out under a long t-shirt. Wen Qing has thought about those shorts a lot.

“He’s so beautiful,” Lan Zhan says, tongue loosened by the weed. Besides, Mianmian’s room is his safe space. He can say what he likes here, so he does. “I want to know what his mouth tastes like. I want him to put his mouth on my—” “No, no, no, no,” Jin Zixuan says, making an X with his arms. “For the love of Christ, keep it PG-13, please.” — In which Lan Zhan gets high, slides into Wei Ying's DMs, and somehow ends up having the harmonica played to him at 2am in the morning.

“Sect Leader Lan,” he said. “Please help me.” Lan Qiren stared down at him in horror, quickly crouching to pull Nie Mingjue up again. “Me? You can’t be serious!” “It has to be you,” Nie Mingjue said. “Sect Leader Lan, please. Please. It can’t be Wen Ruohan. It can’t.”

This all felt so familiar to Justin. Inspired by it wrecks who it pleases by addandsubtract.

ohnny sort of wants to ask, like — hey, Monny, are you hooking up? just to hear the answer. Just to be entirely certain that he's not making it up, or drawing the wrong conclusions. Sean's never told him what he gets up to in Toronto.

“What?” Rex's voice shades towards alarm. “Cody, that’s a bad idea—” “You can't go,” Cody says reasonably. “You have to monitor communications and make sure the generals have an extraction ready if they need it. Ghost Company’s down half its men right now, so I have the chance.” “That’s exactly the tone you used when you explained why you were overcome with the urge to punch General Grievous in the metal face,” Rex informs him. “Cody, no.”