[http://archiveofourown.org/works/419864/chapters/699712] - 2025-10-21 20:01:04 - public:opalsong

author:pressforward, extra:au, extra:parkour, extra:permissiongranted, extra:toPodfic, extra:UGHwhyisntthisfinishedyet, extra:worldbuilding, fandom:Homestuck, fanwork, length:chaptered, pairing:Dave/Karkat, quality:crocodile, rating:r, site:AO3, type:prose - 15 | id:1531554 -

Alternate names – ‘this human emotion called ‘butt-touch,’’ ‘but who tops,’ ‘parkourstuck’ Steps 1. Be Dave Strider, human, tricker extraordinaire and minor GrubTube sensation. Meet some douchebag at a practice session. 2. Be Karkat Vantas, troll, traceur with a few tricks and an ornery fucker with something to hide. 3. Step into the trick, keep your core tight, and flip. 4. Keep flipping. 5. Now kiss. Tips -Drink plenty of water. -Don’t slow down as you’re approaching the obstacle! That’s stutter-stepping, and you will fuck up hard. -Knees up, shoulders back. -Quit worrying already and touch his hot butt.