Parker recruits Eliot for a side job. Comedy and horror ensue.

AKA the one where Jonny learns to love Halloween and Patrick Kane discovers the powers of Vinyl Gloss 550 (Lovesick).

He only meant to complain; you didn't take serving girls on hunting trips, and the alternative interpretation didn't even occur to him until Merlin said indignantly, "I'm not going to do that!"

Yet another beauty st_xi_kink is responsible for. The prompt is: Kirk turned tricks when he was younger, so when it becomes apparent that some seducing is needed, he volunteers. Spock is uneasy in the beginning and tries to reason with Kirk. And we all know how that goes.

AU. It's not exactly that Lydia wants to set Danny up with her high school friend, it's more that she doesn't want to deal with him, and she'd rather make Danny do it.

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

Comment-fic for eliade, prompt: John/Rodney--slavery slavery slavery SLAVERY.

Caroll, Franklin R. Atlantis Revisited. New York and London, Routledge, 2011. Chapman, Denise. Several Kinds of Genius: The Life of Rodney McKay. NY: Harper Perennial, 2015. Croft, Rosalind. City of Spires: A Memoir. Toronto: The Mercury Press, 2009. Dugan, Paul. A Political History of Atlantis. Oxford: OUP, 2012.

"Hey—Elton John wants his planet back!"

Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

Kris wasn't brand-new at the substitute gig, but it was still a little unsettling to walk into the office his first day at the new school, and have the secretary look him up and down and say, "Oh, you are going to be eaten alive."

In hindsight, maybe introducing the local werewolf contingent to the wonderful world of online gaming hadn't exactly been Stiles' best idea.

All these fics with Stiles needing to turn tricks to pay for his dad's hospital bills is like a giant add for universal health coverage. Everyone needs to move to Canada. D:

Harry Potter -- Boy-Who-Lived, Chosen One, and . . . well . . . werewolf -- has returned to Hogwarts (at Hermione’s insistence) to finish his education. On top of classes and homework, he’s living in a tent (again) and helping to run the weekly HOWL -- Hogwarts Organisation for the Welfare of Lycanthropes -- meetings. What’s more, there’s something odd about Malfoy . . .

In which Derek has a sex emergency with unplanned results, Stiles could be the baby daddy on one of those horrible MTV pregnancy shows, Sheriff Stilinski takes in strays and life in Beacon Hills never has a dull moment, not even when things are calm.

This wasn't supposed to happen. In the lists of things Brent wasn't expecting, this is at least third on the list, after 'being able to talk to animals' and 'growing wings' (but before 'zombie apocalypse').

“He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.”

In Which Many Canon Events Are Told In Summary Form For Reasons of Already Ridiculous Length, Issues of Gender and Sexuality Are Discussed Quite Often, Tavros Does Not Want To Grow Up, And Everything Ends Happily, Featuring Several Instances of Vriska, One Explicit Moiraillegiance Scene and Implications Of Another Off-Screen, Numerous Chatlogs, One Memo, Troubling Language From Several Sources Including Karkat Vantas, Three Piles, A Scene of Nonconsensual Amputation, Many Conflicted Feelings, A Resolution of Questionable Red Feelings, and One Non-Explicit Educational Flashing Over Webcam.

Derek finally works up the courage to ask for something, and Stiles is more than willing to help. (Or the one where Derek and Stiles have been together for years and have a relationship based on mutual love, trust, and respect.)

Stiles hangs out with werewolves. Stiles dresses up as Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween. It's supposed to be ironic.

The trollmance novel turns from soap opera to smut in 30 seconds.

Building a pack, one messed-up set of dynamics at a time. Post S2, slow-build Sterek, Stiles-centric, multiple POV fics. Jossed by early s3 Jeff Davis reveals and extending into a future fic. Bamf!Sheriff, magic!Stiles, ambiguous!Peter, and all the drama Beacon Hills can provide. Warnings for shifting and poly relationships, meta and all the literary and film nerdery that being around Stiles would involve. Also, general warnings for any and all characters undergoing: gore/medical trauma, PTSD, grief, angst, angst, angst (did I mention angst), pining, identity issues, sexuality crises, violence of magical and non-magical sources, homework from Harris, college applications (the HORROR) and general WTF IS MY LIFE kinds of reflections. Sunnydale Beacon Hills is like that.

The Mending That You Need: “He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.” The One Where Derek Almost Dies: "You remember that one time you got shot and almost died in my car? And that other time when... well, you were shot then too and almost died in my car... again. What is it with you and almost dying in my car?""

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has joined memo CALLING ALL JACKASSES -- CG: THANK LITTLE JEGUS AND ALL HIS WIGGLER-EATING ELVES. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING STATUS. CA: oh great and wwhich human evven is that again TT: Oh, please. We both know perfectly how well you remember me, Mr. Ampora. TT: My status is, if you will permit the bad joke, wet and horny. CG: MY GANDERBULBS JUST IMPLODED FROM GROSS BY PROXY. WHAT THE CROTCHBLISTERING *FUCK*, LALONDE? TT: As in, I have just emerged from what is either a recuperacoon or a fairly good mock-up, and there are protrusions attached to my skull that I am inclined to believe would be candy-corn-colored. CG: ... OH. YEAH, VERY AMUSING. I AM VERY AMUSED. HERE IS A PICTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF MY MIRTH. |:B

She passes it down, from mother to child, from father to child, until it ends up in his hands. The story and the cloak just as they where the day they were made.

You feel the shift in the air behind you as someone else approaches, but you don't get up. You'll waste anyone who tries to fuck with you right now. "Hot damn," says a voice almost but not quite like Terezi's. "Double trouble, huh?" Your dancestor snickers, and you look up as dancestor Pyrope swaggers around into view.

It was a vague feeling; nothing concrete, nothing he could put a name to, just an uncomfortable sensation scratching low at the base of his brain.

The funny thing about being dead was the number of people who noticed.

"I have called you to give you a warning," the dragon said. "A red moon rises over Camelot this night. The Wild Hunt will ride."

Sam and Dean go to Hogwarts. (spoilers for All Hell Breaks Loose, Deathly Hallows)

"The king sent me to get you," Merlin said, with a tone that implied strongly that he wasn't rolling his eyes where Arthur could see, but just wait until his back was turned. "He said you're to get changed into formal clothes and meet him in the Great Hall, there's a delegation coming from the Summer Court."

"Seriously?" says the clerk in the bookstore. "You seriously tried ordering this from Amazon?"

Hardison, bless his geeky wee heart, ponders which Hogwarts House each of the team would be sorted into. Eliot just wants his damn headset fixed. (Dialogue-only)

Luthor Family Values.

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

"Let's go with Banach-Tarski as your safeword," McKay says almost absently, lips tracing lazily along John's hairline, and John blinks. // "You want to go with a Euclidean geometric paradox for my safeword?" he asks, bemused.

A mysterious letter saves Scorpius' life. When Draco discovers who sent the warning, a most unusual partnership is born.

"All right," Nate says, and smacks his hands together. "Let's go steal a con artist."

"Yeah, you boys nailed that trickster real good," Bobby said, dry as dust.

In which Stiles learns to Stalk That Stalk. (Or, how to accidentally woo your unfriendly neighborhood alpha in roughly five hundred handwritten steps.)

Written for reni_days‘s prompt on the bandom pretend dating festival: spencer has invented an imaginary boyfriend for some longstanding work-related (or other) purpose. his friends (including brendon) all know about the epic story of his pretend romance, and think it is hilarious. eventually, spencer runs into the work people while out with his friends (including brendon) and it turns out that, unbeknownst to him, brendon has been spencer's imaginary boyfriend all along.

John Bender gets a life

For svmadelyn's badfic-summary challenge, summary from hyperfocused: Rodney MmmKay's mother always told him smart boys never get the hot guys. Can he pretend to be dumb so hunky pilot John Shep Hard will ask him to the Atlantis: Under the Sea prom? W/ my OC Princess Ancienta. Warnings: ANGST M/M plz rd/rvw Oh, yeah.

"You're not a very good Jedi, are you?" the Sith Lord said. "Oh, excuse me, I am an excellent Jedi," Rodney said.

No way had Bobby pulled out some pair of real mystical amulets from nowhere and handed them over like crackerjack prizes.

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

Teaching old dogs new tricks. (Set in mid season 3.)

“Blue Wolf, come in, Blue Wolf. You should really thank me for suggesting the pink tie, as it’s clearly bringing all the ladies to the yard.”

Coming home from a long business trip, Tony stumbles on Steve listening to Glenn Miller in the library.

Gibbs sometimes wonders what he did to deserve these morons, but then he looks through the one-way window at three naked and extremely uncomfortable-looking Marines and figures it could be worse.