Gyzym's not!fics are addictive, I swear. So here are four more, kinda-sorta in the Bedtime Stories 'verse, but this time with bonus Teen Wolf! The titles are pretty self-explanatory, the links are to the texts on gyzym's tumblr, and I haven't linked to their individual downloads because that made the page really confusing - the files are clearly labelled, so if you don't want one, you can just delete it from the group folder.

He scowls and looks down to find a flimsy white box sitting on the welcome mat.

The World Security Council prefers Emil Blonsky in the Avengers Initiative, not Bruce Banner. SHIELD doesn't think that's a good idea.

Dean didn't get there first. That's okay; hell, that's the way he wanted it. He never even cared—until he stumbled over some stupid freaking fanfic about him taking Sam's virginity. Now he can't get it out of his head. This fic takes place during season 6, post-06x12, "Like a Virgin," pre-06x20, "The Man Who Would Be King."

You find teenagers like someone would find stray dogs. They’re lost and fucked up and can’t take care of themselves, no one ever having taught them how. No one ever taught you either, but better you than nobody.

The story of how Darcy Lewis accidentally helps found the Avengers while having an epic, failboaty romance with that dude she nailed in a bar two years ago. Tasers, jackbooted thugs, Tony Stark, and life-altering job offers are par for the course when you help discover an alien/god dude with amazing pecs.

Stiles is in the sparse woods on the slope beside Beacon Hills Cemetery, which wasn’t where Scott said he’d be at all, which is why it takes Derek an hour and a half to find him by following the grease-boy-whiskey scent of the Jeep’s meandering path.

The pack takes a trip to IKEA. Stiles slowly loses his mind.

The first time Stiles dresses Caleb up in a ridiculous outfit Derek thinks it’s a joke. He comes home from work one day and is greeted by the sight of their newborn pup in a zebra onesie complete with ears and a tail.

"If the explanation for making me late for work is that you guys were using me as a human stick in an epic game of werewolf fetch," he says, "I am going to be pissed." --- Four times the pack used Stiles as a stick, and once he got them to fetch Derek.

When you've always known you like girls, it's easy to grow up believing you were really meant to be a boy. After all, that's the way the world works, isn't it? Boys like girls. Girls like boys. If you like girls, you must be a boy, especially if you were born with the bits boys have.

Stiles learns that even with werewolves, giant lizards and psychopathic hunters on the loose, life can still find other ways to screw with you. Case in point: everyone keeps assuming he and Derek are a couple. What the hell?

Tony begins to notice that things are going missing from his workshop... and discovers that his bots have been hiding a very, very big secret from him. Or rather, a very, very small one. In which Dummy is a kleptomaniac, You is painfully shy, Butterfingers is a programming genius, JARVIS is a sarcastic sonofabitch, Pepper takes care of Tony outside of the workshop, Bruce is Tony's boo, Thor is Tony's favourite, Clint is actually kind of smart, Steve has terrible timing, and problem-solving is never simple or easy.

Arthur doesn’t care much about the popular radio program Dragon’s Lonely Hearts until his ex-girlfriend calls in to slag him off and get advice. When he calls in and has an on-air argument with the host, it starts off more than he expected, including meddling friends, overinvolved fans, and maybe love.

A college AU with strippers, crime bosses, and a mystery to solve.

Pepper leaves, and there’s no more pizza, and Thor’s already talked about Jane, and Tony suspects all of them realize, abruptly and simultaneously, that they actually have no idea what to do now. He is, in fact, pretty certain that they’re just a few minutes away from someone deciding to say something about the weather. It’s probably going to be him.

Steve looks after everyone, but no one looks after Steve. No one except Bucky.

When you're sometimes a monster, love is rarely worth the risk. On the other hand, Bruce hadn't factored Natasha Romanoff into his calculations.

Humor. Porn. Vulnerability, Aya style.

"The Bastard is not in love with me, and I can prove it. With science!"

Everyone thinks Peter Burke has only caught Neal Caffrey twice. Everyone is wrong.

Some things are true and some are not.

What's your name, kid?

Rosalie does not simply move through the forest, she is a part of it, and it suits her in the strange way that it suits Leah. How two lonely, broken, wild things of the woods connect with each other and rediscover their humanity.

Every office has a 'cute guy from Marketing with a great ass' that everyone wants to sleep with. Among the junior agents at SHIELD, that person is Phil Coulson. Clint would find it hilarious, but he just wants people to stop throwing themselves at his boyfriend.

After the revelation that rumours of Phil's demise had been greatly exaggerated, there's a party at Stark Tower. It doesn't take much for Tony to throw a party, but this one's actually organised by Pepper, so will at least start out tasteful, civilised, and impeccably hosted.

"Dude," Jackson said, and Danny stopped what he was doing, because when Jackson started sentences with 'dude', he was either about to share something deeply personal or about to try and get them expelled for excessive pussy jokes, and Danny had problems with both of those options.

A Small Thing: Halloween: Princess Thor's skirt is the prettiest in all the Realms. Only Fools Rush In: In which Captain America ends up married to Bucky Barnes, with Thor, prince of Asgard and god of thunder, as their witness.

Gyzym's not!fics are addictive, I swear. So much so, in fact, that I've done... sixteen more XD Since there are so many of them, I've put streaming in for all of them on my LJ, and all sixteen can be downloaded from the link below. All are rated G except the one marked otherwise

Son of Thunder: "A reunion, an offer, a promise. Star Trek XI/Thor crossover. Written for amine_eyes." Under The Suit (We Have To Work Together): "In which Charles and Erik's X-Men team up with the Avengers, but Erik's distracted by the guy in the metal suit."

Stiles doesn't notice the constant buzzing in his head until it's gone.

Arthur is a recruiter for a branch of the Special Forces and goes to give a talk at Ealdor High School. Merlin is in the audience.

"We had our own stories, though. Werewolf stories." Stiles takes an aimless couple steps forward, the curiosity in him a thing of kinetic energy. "Like what?" Stiles wants to try something; Derek isn't so sure it's a good idea.

Steve sang in the shower. Of course Steve sang in the shower; if Tony had been making a list of stereotypical, I-came-from-the-1940s, Boy Scout traits, singing in the shower would be at the top of the list.

"Tony. I can't be a superhero." Darcy is pretty sure about this. (Sequel to Gift of Asylum)

"Tony Stark sometimes doesn't make the best choices with his health. Tony is usually bad at communicating. Steve usually doesn't end up in medical, but there are always exceptions. "Phil Coulson is the one who has to write up this nonsense, and he can't keep the Avengers out of medical."

Ron goes looking for his missing best mate and finds something quite unexpected.

They only need ten rules to ensure (relatively) peaceful cohabitation.

Young Phil Coulson pretends he can't hear his parents fighting. Instead, he occupies himself with the adventures of Captain America.

"They bought-- what? A body in cryo?" Maria Hill looks skeptical. "How’d one guy fresh out of the ice kill a whole room?"

Steve gets a lesson in pop psychology, drives a roadster, fends off an aspiring killer robot, conquers Tetris, wins a quarter, buys pants, battles the undead, and falls hard for Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. Just your average superhero stuff.

Stiles does things. WHILE BISEXUAL.

Kurt and Blaine discover the joys of sexting and phonesex in the week before they lose their virginities.

Derek steps away from the window. “You helped me. They took that as a declaration."

Ask Sober!Gamzee

Bucky is found by SHIELD. Tony wants a project. They meet somewhere in the middle.

Kanaya's lusus had taught her, early on, how to prepare a body.

"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma." (Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)

I had a whole sass machine introduction to this post, except I wrote it in July, back when I started this primer and jokes about Evan Lysacek and the World Cup were still fresh to death. Then I sort of stopped working on it, until certain people issued A CHALLENGE to me to finish it, and I think we all know that I don't back down from a challenge. So hide your eyes, it's a Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews primer.