“We wish babies when we fuck. Congratulations,” is what he does manage to say, pointing at the stoop.

Sidney blamed in order: vodka, global warming for the flight-delaying weather, and Columbus for being the kind of place where the best way to while away the time was to hole up in Flower's room, raiding the mini bar and playing a poorly organized game of Truth or Dare.

The magic hits him as soon as he opens his car door. Hearth magic and earth magic and hedge magic, and probably more, all swirling in a cacophony that should have been overwhelming. But instead it feels like wading into…home.

“You having cock-sucking competition?” he teases. “Very good. You win. Ten points.” Sid blushes and smacks Geno’s arm. “No, I - I want to be the best at this.” “You are best,” Geno assures him. “Really?” Sid says, all-too-shrewdly. “The best you’ve ever had?”

caperg33l, hauntologie

As a prince and an alpha, Geno needs to get bonded before he turns thirty. With his birthday fast approaching, he returns to Russia to find a suitable omega. The only problem is that Sid has secretly been in love with Geno for years.

Sidney holds out his hand and they shake. They don’t bond then, although people like to think that’s when it happened.

The problem is not that Zhenya's wolf knows what she wants. The problem is who she wants. (If he can't look Sidney Crosby in the eye without blushing it's going to be a very long season.)

Geno has always been up in Sid’s personal space. Geno has been known to delight in the fact that he’s accepted there before when most people aren’t, so it isn’t a surprise to have Geno plastered to his back while they are waiting on an early morning flight.

Probably, Phil should call his mom. Bozie should call his mom. They should have called a bunch of people already. Bozie is currently buying furniture off the internet and Phil is watching Ancient Aliens on the History Channel. This is the episode about the pyramids that Phil's seen at least three times.

Hilary is okay with having a rep if it means NHL stars bring her Cheetos.

Geno loves kids, but not the way Sid loves kids. Sid has a younger sister; Geno lived with Seryozha and Ksenia and Natalie for two years. Which is to say, he survived potty training and checkers and temper tantrums, as well as several toddler ballet recitals. Every time they work with the Little Penguins, it's like Sid is fresh off a thorough Obliviation. Geno, meanwhile, is prepared for war.

Geno keeps the mental door closed to his teammates in the summer, at least when he can help it; he doesn’t always check in like Sid does. They have other ways of doing that, text and email and social media, and now is the time when they’re supposed to have a break from each other. Geno likes having his head to himself. It’s good for him to get it in order for the next season.

It’s already embarrassing enough when you accidentally call your teacher ‘mom’, but it’s a lot worse when it’s your captain, as Conor is about to discover. Sid just doesn’t remember signing any adoption papers.

He hopes four sandwiches will be enough to get them both through this. Sid's angst makes Geno really hungry. or: 5 hockey players Sidney Crosby doesn't have a crush on. (+1 oblivious idiot he loves)

So Geno proposed to people in times of stress. That was fine. Geno’s feelings were ferocious and unwieldy and sometimes just fucking inconvenient, and there wasn’t a guy on the team who hadn’t figured that out within a couple of weeks of being here.

A fill for this prompt I saw on tumblr: plot bunny: hockey player of your choice comes out to his team/comes out to his new team/has always been out but is generally quiet about it. his team is cautiously supportive of his sexuality. they are, however, astonished and outraged to learn that dudes do not often consider their out teammate a catch.

"No," Beau says sternly. "Geno, I am not wearing that." "Boss's order!" Geno says gleefully. "Is Paul Martin jersey. Ginger d-man, very handsome. You like!" Beau takes the jersey and pulls it over his head reluctantly. He very much regrets accidentally telling Geno that he has a serious weakness for muscular redheads.

This time yesterday, Jamie was picking Tyler up from the airport. It's been six hours since Nill called her and said, "Hey, looks like you're in town, can you come in today?" and five since Jordie texted help I have a wardrobe emergency. Half the notifications on Tyler's phone are Snapchats from Brownie, presumably 50/50 dogs and blurry dick pics. This is Tyler's life.

“I adopted a dog,” Sidney explains, pointing to the bundle of grey fur on the other side of the dog park. “The vet thinks he’s probably a husky or malamute.” Phil glances at Sidney's dog, and then at Sidney. “... that isn't a husky," he says after a beat. Sidney shrugs. "Yeah, no. Probably a mutt, but I have to put something on the registration forms."

AU: Sidney Crosby is a foster kid growing up in Nova Scotia. Geno Malkin is a Russian transplant. They play hockey. And also have sex. I claim to know very little about the junior hockey league and even less about Canadian Childrens Aid Services.

Evgeni Malkin is a star forward and three-time Art Ross Trophy winner. Sidney Crosby is the head chef of Nouma, a Halifax restaurant that boasts two Michelin stars. They cross paths in Pittsburgh.

“I’m not telling you not to train,” Bobby said. “I’m just telling you not to be completely insane about everything for the rest of your life.” Carey blinked at him, and then the stiffness in his shoulders seemed to give way, to sag. “So, what, are you just gonna sleep for three days?” Carey said, his voice a little — a little bit lost, and oh. Oh, kid.

Geno makes a request. Sid does his research. Geno starts without him.

Andre walks in on something he couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams.

“Okay,” Jack says. He sounds deceptively calm as he takes a few steps forward and throws himself onto the bed next to Connor, lying on his stomach and propping himself up on his elbows. “What are we watching?” Connor doesn’t answer immediately, just messes with his computer for a few seconds, and then spins it so that Jack can see what’s pulled up on the screen. It’s porn, which is what Jack expected. That’s what people watch to jerk off; it’s what he watches and of course it’s what Connor McDavid watches. He didn’t actually think that Connor jerked off to hockey highlights or something.

Dylan doesn’t know whose idea it was to put hockey players in lingerie, but he kind of wants to send them a thank-you card.

The website is simple and straightforward. The header reads Black Forest BDSM and there's a tasteful banner showing a set of leather handcuffs laying on elegant sheets. There's a photo on the side of a solidly built man in leather pants and a tight fitting shirt, cropped so that his mouth is visible but the rest of his face isn't.

Everyone knows Zhenya got the bite too early. Zhenya knows it most of all.

"My friends call me Nicke," Backström—no, Nickie—finally said. His voice was very quiet, and Sasha found himself automatically leaning in to catch it, lowering his own volume to match. "Okay, Nickie!" he whisper-yelled, grinning widely. "I like this! Nickie is good nickname, hah, nickname, get it, Nickie?" Nickie clearly got it, but he didn't deign to laugh, or even smile. Sasha vowed to be funnier, the next time he tried to make a joke.

“But yeah, Matthew’s definitely the best at oral,” Mitch says, straight faced, and Leon-- laughs out loud? “Oh come on, yeah right,” she says, grinning at Matthew over Mitch’s shoulder. She seems genuinely amused. Mitch puffs up, offended. “They made me come so hard I passed out once! Maybe twice. Haven’t you seen them chewing on their mouthguard during games?” Leon laughs again. “Having a huge fucking oral fixation doesn’t automatically mean you’re good at eating pussy, come on,” she says, disbelieving.

Dylan and Mitch try to settle an argument about who gives the better hand job using Connor's dick.

He knew this would happen, one day. He didn’t think Dylan would touch his dick for the first time on the bus, but.

The A to Z of podficcing, devised and read to you by team Dandy Lions for Voiceteam 2022. A physical picture book, filmed and narrated + text and image descriptions.

Sid approaches the door and opens his mouth to call out when he's arrested by the sight in front of him. Geno sitting in the bright early summer grass with a little child in front of him, sun shining in her fluffy hair and on the crinkles by Geno's eyes as he talks to her, reaches for her, poking gently at her belly with one long finger, her eyes fixed on his face, mouth open in utter joy. Sid's heart seizes in his chest at the look on Geno's face as he watches.

Jordan’s always been kind of jealous of people with dynamics, like Taylor.

Jonny’s never spent a heat with another guy, alpha or no. Never had an honest-to-god-dick-attached-knot inside him. Never been with someone he used to daydream about lifting his ass up for, even on suppressants.

Dylan wants both of them to shut up and Connor to just put his dick in him already, but he knows this is crossing a lot of boundaries for the both of them and communication is important.

“What is it that you do, Omega Malkin?” Sid says eventually, tired of the guessing game. Apparently, he’s asked a controversial question. There’s a tension in the air. Mrs. Malkin starts giving a very particular look to her son and Omega Malkin shifts in his seat and straightens his spine like he’s gearing up for a fight. “Hockey,” Omega Malkin says evenly. Sid’s fork slips from his grip and clatters against his plate. He looks up and across the table at Omega Malkin. -- or; Sidney Crosby is an unbonded werewolf. So is Evgeni Malkin.

"The lawyers have found a pretty good loophole," Pat said. "It's not a loophole, it's a long-standing cultural tradition," Mario said, glancing at Sidney. "It's a fucking loophole," Pat reiterated. "But it's a great one."

“How much is bail set for?” Jamie asks without hesitation and not even a hint of sleep in his voice. Fucker. “I’ll get Jordie to do a transfer. Whatever it is, we’ll get you out.” Tyler thinks it’s commendable that he doesn’t cut the call then and there. Then again, once word gets out that Sidney Crosby is possibly broken, Jamie and Jordie are the last chance he has of actually making it back across the Atlantic alive. Or alternatively, Tyler Seguin Worries That He Broke Sidney Crosby In Prague With Indelible Ink.

Sid is asleep when Geno comes crashing into the bedroom. Sid had been sleeping the sleep of the post-hockey season depressed, so it takes a few minutes for him to realize Geno is speaking and seems to think Sid is listening. “Wait, what?” Sid says. He pushes himself up onto his elbows and squints at Geno. “What?” “I marry you, I become American, yeah?” Geno asks, waving his hands in the air. Sid’s arms give in and he flops back to the bed, getting a mouth full of pillow. Sid has no idea what Geno’s talking about. They have a marriage plan, but it’s definitely not a right-now plan, it’s a years-down-the-road plan. He turns over and frowns up at Geno. “I’m Canadian.” (a response to the recent 'outlawing gay' nonsense in St. Petersburg).

Tyler has gone so long without touching an alpha that it's starting to have a negative effect on him. Good thing Jamie is always willing to help him out.

Sidney always knew his family would pick who he ended up with. It was how things were done, and no matter what the outside world thought, he'd never questioned it before because it was just the reality: ice was frozen, getting checked against the boards knocked the wind out of you, one day Sid would be matched to someone his parents and the matchmaker and his aunts and uncles and his community thought was the best fit for him. And best of all, Sidney wouldn't have to worry about it. He would just focus on hockey. He'd deal with it one day. Eventually. 'One day' had seemed so much farther away when he was younger.

Sidney always dreamed of having a family someday. He just never expected it to happen when he wasn't even looking.

Sid comes out. This is what happens next.

It’s 10 pm, and Sid is ready to scream.

Tyler winked at him. "Hey, want me to act all demure and nervous about it? That could be fun." The mind boggled. "No," Jamie said firmly.

In retrospect, Jordie realizes Jamie’s coming out might have been a much bigger deal to him than Jordie had let him make it. Jamie is trans. Jordie doesn't care, and he will murder everyone that does. (POV Jordie)

Tyler gets traded to Dallas on a Thursday.