"I will live in thy heart sleeve, (never) die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes, and moreover, I will go with thee to the extremely boring cultivation conference." –The Yiling Laozu, probably. Wei Wuxian needs a new workshop. Lan Wangji has room in his qiankun sleeves.
“I still - I don't-” Shiro feels like his brain is broken. “I still don't get why this is necessary.” “All aspects of physical stamina are tested during the trials,” Kolivan replies, standing next to him as both of them watch the screen. “Awakening the blade is only the first step. Your friend is an omega, and all omegas currently serving with the Blades have lasted an hour or more on this device. It is protocol.”
“Well, I don't see it,” Huaisang had said, and then he'd shoved his hand down the front of his pants right there in front of Nie Mingjue. “I—oh, I have the other thing now,” he said, and he sounded...intrigued. Nie Mingjue had quickly excused himself.
Canon: The Untamed Jiang Yanli didn’t know Nie Huaisang very well. He’d been close with A-Xian and A-Cheng during their time in the Cloud Recesses, but Jiang Yanli was older and had made her own friends at the time; she’d pretended ignorance of her brothers’ and Nie Huaisang’s antics, while engaging in some (much subtler and better-hidden) antics of her own. She had remained in touch with the young women who had been her friends from the lectures right up until the Wens came to Lotus Pier. Her last letter to Ouyang Anzheng had gone out right before she and her father left for Lanling.
The last year before Jin Zixuan figures out that his father will only ever love him as an accessory to his power is also the year that he meets Luo Qingyang. For a long time, he thinks of it as the last truly happy year of his life. The Luos are a long-time family of the Jin sect. Most of them live in Lanling City, although there are a few cousins living farther out in the more rural areas. It is to these cousins that Jin Zixuan will go to learn to ride horses the year he turns eleven.
A dancing demon? Some kid is dreamin'? Whatever the mystery, the gang will work together and figure it out in the end!
“I didn’t know Mistress Jiang’s expertise extended to medicine,” Lan Xichen commented, a little breathless from the pain of his injury. Jiang Yanli smiled up at him – kind and gentle and just a little mischievous – and suddenly he was a little more breathless than before. How had he never spent time with this remarkable woman before?
Under normal circumstances, he would have never thought of trying something like this, but his husband had run off his mouth while they were being intimate and it had made Lan Wangji very aware of a desire he had never known he had. It was something he had been unable to put out of his mind for over a week. The thought of it made his body warm and eager, and the images his mind conjured were more than enough to make him seek pleasure at odd times, to Wei Wuxian’s great delight. Tonight, he’d surprise him by making his words come true.
Lan Zhan just has a really great rack. Her boobs are huge, and Wei Wuxian has wanted to get her mouth on them since pretty much the moment she first met her. This is not new information. What is new information is that Lan Zhan, of all people, has her nipples pierced. Wei Wuxian knows this now, because she saw them last week, and her brain has been running at about fifty percent capacity since, because how is she supposed to think about anything else?
Jiang Yanli tended to deal with stress in one of two ways: cooking and taking care of people. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, the Wen indoctrination camp provided many opportunities for both, although not with the people she might have expected. Wei Wuxian spent most of his days being valiant and light-hearted, trying to give them strength and courage, and Jiang Cheng followed his lead the way he always did, brave and serious and thoughtful and – well. It’s not that she didn’t appreciate both of them, because she did, but it was only that her own anxiety was more easily dealt with when she could distance herself from her current situation and focus entirely on someone else. She might have tried to take care of Jin Zixuan, but the Jin sect disciples closed ranks around him, glaring at her as if she were the one who broke off their engagement. Either way, she won’t go where she’s not wanted, and so she backed off and went elsewhere to look for someone that needed her. Luckily for her, Nie Huaisang was very loud and very vocal and very, very needy.
Modern AU: Mingjue and Xichen are living in different cities, no longer entirely boyfriends as such, more in a best-friends-sort-of-dating-long-distance-in-an-open-relationship scenario. But in practice this largely involves having long distance phone sex most nights while both watching the same porn. Which, for several months now, has mostly meant watching a sunny little femmeboi called A Yao, who has dimples to die for, an Only Fans page, an endless supply of stockings and dildos, and the kind of flexibility that makes your eyes water. Mingjue and Xichen are maybe just a little obsessed with the idea of wrecking him. Lately, A Yao has started including his roommate "Xiao Tang" in his shoots - with his face pixelated, because Xiao Tang is shy, and is not entirely ready to be internet famous in this way. Mingjue and Xichen are both extremely enthusiastic about this turn of events. Which is going to be a little awkward in the immediate future...
Hanguang-jun, it seems that you’ve caught me.” “Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji murmurs, the corner of his lips twitching slightly up. “You let me catch you.” * It is autumn in the mating grounds of Phoenix Mountain.
A look into the days of Jiang Cheng, courtesy name Wanyin, the young Sect Leader of Yunmeng Jiang, with his husband, Nie Huaisang, the Young Madame Nie of Lotus Pier.
Rule 63 Modern AU, feat. Chinese Literature professor Lan Zhan and her lingerie model girlfriend, Wei Ying. i. How Lan Zhan's big lesbian university crush convinced her to stop worrying and love her body. ii. How Wei Ying's girlfriend got her to stop worrying and come on home. iii. How Wei Ying and Lan Zhan's relationship is put to the test, and what happens after.
Xichen's cheeks are flushed a pale pink and it suddenly occurs to Mingjue that Xichen isn't doing that fancy Lan technique of using his core to evaporate the alcohol before it can affect him. Which means Xichen wants to get drunk. Which means only bad things for Mingjue, generally. Good, but very bad things.
Nie Huaisang snapped open his fan and covered his face. "Be careful. I'll take advantage."
The one where NHS successfully thirst-traps his brother (and then gets to keep him). This started as a discord thread, then it moved to twitter, and it is now here on AO3. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me along every step of the way!
Song Lan follows Xiao Xingchen's lead on a new and mildly innovative way of dealing with the Xue Yang-shaped problem in their lives.
ok so i’m thinking about like. history teacher Lan Wangji. and his students the junior quartet (jin ling, ouyang zizhen, jingyi and sizhui) who are ADAMANT that Mr. Lan Does Not Fuck
A post-canon twitfic (now cross-posted to AO3) in which Jin Ling, with help from Lan Sizhui, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng, & Wen Ning, cleans out Jin Guangyao's old treasure chamber, and makes some unexpected discoveries.
The words spill out of him before he can arrange them into something more coherent. “Anora, I think I might have a child.” (Or: in which Alistair Theirin realises he loves his wife.)
He blacks out, or something, because the next thing Varric knows he’s at his desk with Bran standing over him with a pinched look on his face. “I got a kid.” Bran’s face somehow pinches further. “Like, from a store?” Varric whacks his head against his desk. in which varric's saddled with a kid, and hawke tries not to get too attached
Lan Zhan had never expected to marry. So of course, fate would have it that he was wed to Wei Ying's beloved shidi, just as they had become close, somewhere between friends and companions. aka Canon Divergent AU where coreless!JC marries LWJ, complicated feelings ensue. Eventual zhanchengxian.
"You can't be serious," Xiao Zhan says. "Zhan-ge," Yibo cajoles, brandishing his PS4 controller and patting the couch next to him. "Just give me like, two minutes. I promise. I swear. I just gotta be online for this drop."
Xiao Zhan has a side hustle he doesn’t want anyone to know about it. He’s building up a big stream following as a femboy, and his stream chat community is pushing to see someone touching him and giving him a good time. Wang Yibo is the only friend who knows—he helped him set up his stream—and the last person Xiao Zhan would consider asking to join him for the kinds of sex acts his stream wants to see. Yibo has a lot of opinions about that.
"Tell me about what I need to do," Qin Su says, steeling herself, forcing her anxiety down. She doesn't have a choice, she has to put aside her fears and do this. Jin Guangyao scoops back strands of her hair and twists them deftly into braids. "It can't be too scripted, or he won't believe it. Nie Mingjue values honesty and forthrightness, and despises liars and schemers." Qin Su exhales sharply at the confirmation of what she'd already known, the potential danger that lies ahead. "So I need to seduce him without letting him know I'm seducing him?" [Fix-it AU in which QS finds out the truth of her parentage and plots with JGY to get her a husband. Things Ensue.]
Wei Wuxian's messiness comes back to bite him in the ass, a thousand years later. *** "Why are vampire stories always I Want To Drink The Sexy Neck Milkshake and never two vampires texting about the passionate letter one wrote to the other in 1863 but never sent that the other just saw in the Smithsonian’s fall exhibition on Love Through the Ages and what the fuck, Claude, why didn’t you say anything" AU, but with immortal cultivators.
The resentful energy occupying Wei Wuxian's body like an enemy army is very interested in giving him Lan Wangji, tied up with a bow. Wei Wuxian is hoping that Lan Wangji (who is far too noble and very keen to save Wei Wuxian's misguided soul) doesn't find out about any aspect of that.
A very specific part of Jin Ling's Yunmeng Jiang heritage makes itself known when he comes of age. His friends help him out.
Wei Ying’s gaze is so intent on his face, Lan Wangji can feel it, even without looking him in the eye. Wei Ying can read him so well. Almost as well as . . . Lan Wangji swallows. Even thinking the name feels like a dishonor in this moment, as his body is humming and pulsing at the familiar, much-trodden path his thoughts are slipping down.
“I would still like to be kissed,” Wangji says, and his hand is very hot on Lan Xichen’s cheek. Perhaps one of them has a fever, or they both do. He opens his mouth to ask if they should open the window for some cool air. His brother kisses him as if that is what Lan Xichen had intended. He will not be sure, later, whether it was.
Jiang Cheng finds out about Wei Ying's missing golden core, and decides to fix it. With books. And his dick. Lan Zhan is there to help.
The Jiang Sect was famous for it's marvelous creations. Lan Wangji is just as enthralled as everyone else until he gets a closer look.
Huaisang ran his fingers up over Mingjue’s thigh and abdomen, smoothing in slow circles as he spoke, “Just relax, Da-ge. I’ll take good care of you.”
In the end, there isn’t much of a discussion. With the sabre spirit boiling in Mingjue’s blood, it has to be Huaisang. Huaisang has regular courses, has never actually been stabbed or tortured on the field of battle. They know their duty to the family. If Mingjue can’t risk a child, Huaisang will do it. But she's not doing it alone.
Nie Huaisang blinks his big dark eyes open and scoots closer, thighs bumping against the outside of Nie Mingjue's hips. "I don't feel anything yet," he says. "Can you give me some more?"
Huaisang pulls against the heavy, taut drape of the hanfu’s collar and the layers underneath, revealing barely a triangle of his pale clavicle and shoulder as he fans himself from the heat. It’s a tantalizing strip of skin, and before Mingjue can drag his eyes away, the glint of silver catches his gaze. Is that - ? Mingjue only gets a glimpse. Nestled between Huaisang’s skin and the gauzy white inner robe, there’s a strip of silver-black. A strap. A - a bra strap. It burns at the back of his mind for hours, like an ember in the dark, a glow he can see even with his eyes closed. What is Huaisang hiding, underneath all those layers?
Pat’s never really had anyone do this before– the gentle, almost rhythmic smoothing as Brian makes his way across one wing and then the other, seemingly in no rush to get to the main event, so to speak. He hasn’t touched Pat’s preen oil glands at all, but apparently Pat’s body has gotten the message that preening is happening now anyway. He can feel that the feathers closest to his back are slick with oil now, already noticeably heavier than usual. Brian seems to notice this as well, as he pauses mid-sentence to let out a soft “Hmm!” when his ministrations shift again towards the center of Pat’s back.
Mingjue’s first thought is: generic. This is entirely Huaisang's fault, the product of listening to far too many rants about the failings of modern men’s fashion. Lan Xichen looks like he’s stepped out of a diagram labelled “Business Casual.” Mingjue’s second thought is: pretty.
Going up Burial Mounds, some worries arise. Can the Wens really work this out?
Who do you bloom for, in your lungs?
Lan Wangji believes he and Wei Wuxian are essentially engaged. While they search for his missing betrothed, he accidentally reveals as much to Jiang Wanyin. Now everyone in the cultivation world knows about the imminent marriage, except for Wei Wuxian himself.
It happened like this: Jin Ling was a sect leader now, which was, and Jingyi really meant this, fucking hilarious. There were few things funnier, in his honest opinion. Because he was young, and inexperienced, and also — it had to be said — a real shithead, there was apparently some belief amongst his advisors that the best way forward, to promote the picture of a stable, mature sect leader who absolutely did not cry at the drop of a hat, was for Jin Ling to get married. - OR: Jin Ling and Jingyi get engaged. Things spiral from there.
“Tell me I’m beautiful, Lan er-gege!” “You are well aware you are beautiful,” Lan Wangji says. Wei Wuxian trips over Jiang Wanyin and sends both of them to the ground in a tangle of limbs and bruises.
The first time Wei Wuxian sees Lan Zhan naked in the Cold Spring behind Cloud Recesses, she's totally blindsided. Lan Zhan is meditating, tips of her hair trailing through the water when Wei Wuxian arrives and starts to strip down. Her eyes are closed, and her tits are floating in the water in front of her. Several things strike Wei Wuxian in quick succession. Five times Wei Wuxian notices how absolutely enormous Lan Zhan's tits are, and one time she does something about it: A fill for a prompt in the MDZS/CQL Kink Meme.
She has no throne. Girls without thrones should not have knights, but hers won’t go. Princess Zelda – the girl who killed Calamity – would love to fade into legend, but Link’s bought a house, he’s fighting off monsters, and he’s selling giant horses to strangely familiar Gerudo men. She'll never have any peace now.
It doesn’t come up often, and Wen Qing didn’t plan it this way, but she has slept with all of the Yunmeng siblings (separately) and she’s not even a little bit sorry about it, it was all good.
Saving people, hunting things: the family business. Modern AU: the Nies are hit by a demon's death curse, which is NOT fuck or die - it's fuck AND die, a kind of reverse cultivation curse that's usually directed against cultivation partners, destroying their golden cores little by little every time they fuck. NOT a clever curse to use against brothers! ...except that the curse comes with a chaser: its targets share blisteringly horny sex dreams every night, as a way of encouraging them to go ahead and give in to the whole fuck-and-die schtick. Awkward. So it makes sense to search for a cure to the curse, right? Especially since the cure might actually help stabilise Mingjue's golden core. Obviously they have no intention of actually boning once they've got rid of the whole fuck-and-die curse... (...for the life of me I can't remember who suggested a Fuck AND Die trope on Twitter many weeks ago - evidently it has been living rent free in the back of my head ever since, though, and so here we have some Niecest.)
Mingjue has been working too much, so Huaisang brings him lunch and a special surprise. Huaisang's motives aren't entirely altruistic...
A week later, Jiang Cheng gets a chance to talk to someone he trusts about the revelations during and preceding the confrontation at Guanyin Temple. Part of the Therapy for the Sunshot Generation Agenda
