On Wednesday, Yuri skates right in between Viktor and Mila and says, nonchalant. "When I grow up, I'm going to be Yuuri Katsuki's second husband." Viktor chokes on his own spit. "What happened to the first one?" Mila asks, amused. "Nothing you can prove," Yuri says, glancing meaningfully at a wide-eyed Viktor before skating away to the sound Mila's laughter. (Or: In which Yuri Plisetsky has a crush, Mila Babicheva is a terrible listener, Otabek Altin is an equally terrible advice-giver, and the only possible solution to his predicament is to kill Viktor Nikiforov and marry Yuuri Katsuki himself.)

“Are those even practical?” Iruka hisses, unable to tear his eyes away from his mission partner.

Ignis' cooking gives various status effects, depending on the recipe. It's never done this before, Prompto knows. This being the unstoppable urge to fuck his best friends, over and over and over again. Good thing they all ate the same meal.

Based on a kinkmeme prompt: "Ardyn pretends to be Noct to get info out of/lead astray/etc the Chocobros. Except Ardyn is thousands of years old and doesn't know how to talk like a 20 y/o slacker. He's too verbose, he uses old slang people haven't used in centuries, he smiles too much, he guesses their romantic attachments wrong..."

"So it turns out that forming Voltron is a lot harder to accomplish when you’re not all about to die." Or where Lance engages in some dick centered problem solving. He and Keith struggle to form the oneness of mind they need for Voltron, so they try to work it out between themselves.

West City Councilor Bertram will never forgive the State Alchemists for their part in the Promised Day Incident that nearly destroyed the country, especially the Flame Alchemist. He has a plan to put the alchemists in their place once and for all, and he's going to use their own art to do it. Meanwhile, Ed is just passing through West City on his way to meet up with his brother. But of course, Ed could never stay out of trouble for very long.

Through sheer serendipity, Tony discovers a lesser known side effect of the super soldier serum. Naturally, his scientific curiosity demands that it be tested in the bedroom. Oh, and he's always fantasized about being filled with copious amounts of come. In which Steve makes Tony's dreams come true and discovers a few things about himself along the way.

By Hylian standards, a voe isn't exactly a man, a vai isn't exactly a woman, and a man who desperately needs to get into Gerudo City doesn't exactly know what's going on. (Or: 2,500+ words of musing about Gerudo gender politics.)

Cor looked out at the thirty plus Crownsguard hopefuls with a flat piercing stare. “This is Prompto Argentum,” he said, gesturing to the young blond haired teen standing next to him. “He is a part of His Highness’ retinue. If you manage to land a hit on him, you can skip Basic training and move to Advance.” Someone in the crowd snicker as the rest of them stared, skeptical. Prompto Argentum was built like a stick, just waiting for someone to snap him in half. There was no way the Marshal was serious.

Gladio gets his kinks indulged by the other three while camping and in heat.

AU in which the royal magic is gifted to retainers through a magical sex ritual. A lot less porny than the description makes it seem. More of a coming of age angst fest that delves into the meaning of consent and free choices.

All Might – Toshinori – fakes it. All the time, every time, because he has to. Aizawa thinks lying and liars are the most exhausting things in life, so of course he didn't expect to fall in love, but here they are.

Five times the #1 headliner All Might and underground scrub Eraserhead teamed up, and one time they didn't. Unfortunately, the first time they meet, both heroes are already high on weaponized ecstasy – or Dust, as it's known on the street. Let the good times roll.

“You would think they’d make it harder to break into their castle,” Mei huffs, and heaves the body of a guard into one of the empty rooms to sprawl with the others.

In an alternate universe, forces conspired to put Ace, Sabo, and Luffy in the care of the Red Hair pirates as children. The Grand Line would never know what hit it.

At Shells Town, Luffy does not meet Roronoa Zoro. Instead, he acquires a sword.

That’s a nice face, Genma thinks. A hell of a nice face. And the biceps that are as big around as Genma's head are nothing to sneeze at, either. “Genma,” Aoba starts, a warning in his voice, but in the same moment the bigger Swordsman laughs again, leaning down, and instantly three of the genin swarm him. He boosts them up, then rises easily, like the weight of three genin is nothing at all, and Genma watches them laugh and cling to his shoulders, his arms, and licks his lips. “Genma,” Aoba says, and that’s his judgey and horrified tone.

“I want it known that I'm only allowing this under protest,” Kakashi says dryly. Zabuza rolls his eyes, leaning back against a tree and watching the trio on the bridge with amusement. “Yeah, you’ve said that. I don’t think the Hokage was impressed, either.”

Obito meets a version of himself from another world. And another, and another, and another.

Tobirama loved Itama enough to go against the natural laws in an attempt to bring him back. For Itama, it’s time to return the favor.

Just when Konan has lost hope, she meets a hero.

There's a low chuckle from behind them, and the bedsprings creak as Kakashi sprawls out, half-reclined as he watches them with heavy-lidded eyes. “You know,” he says easily, “of all the perks I expected as Hokage, this definitely wasn’t one of them.” “Threesomes with other Kages?” Utakata asks, dragging his fingers up Zabuza’s spread thighs, and those golden eyes don’t waver from Zabuza’s, intent and hot even if he sounds like he’s just making polite conversation. Kakashi chuckles. “I meant access to your own personal harem,” he says lightly. “But that too.”

in which I repost fics of various length that I posted on tumblr based on a specific modern 'verse that was discussed with one or more anons on my tumblr a while ago. Premise: Jon is still R+L but went to live with the Starks around five-ish after both his parents pretty much realized they bit off more than they could chew. Features extra Jon Connington being the responsible adult, Robb being a gift, the Tullys being fairly great people and so on. Specific ficlets: 1) jon connington comes clean with rhaegar about his feelings in a way he hadn't predicted; 2) jon c. finds out that rhaegar named his kid after him; 3) robb is *extremely* invested in making sure jon's first birthday party turns out great (ned/cat, robb & jon); 4) robb takes his brotherly duties with jon very seriously, good for everyone involved; 5) jon's first christmas with the starks *and* tullys; 6) how jon c. and brynden tully get together in this 'verse and realize they're actually perfect for each other; 7) jon (snow) and ygritte have their first child... who looks like rhaegar, GENETICS!.

in which Jaime has A Very Sound Plan when it comes to his family's objections to his marriage with Brienne.

“I slept fine enough,” Jaime grins back. “And I’m sure your daughter won’t have my head for anything that’s happened in the last moon.” “That she won’t,” her father agrees. “And please, the last thing I dared hope for her was that she’d marry someone who would just care for having heirs and not even knowing them. All things considered, I think any woman in the realm would kill to have you for a husband.” “Just everyone’s luck that she waited long enough to run into me, right?” Or: in which Brienne is off being a knight in shining armor and Jaime is in no way shape or form stopping her from doing it.

"It wasn’t that he was crushing on Pat Gill, not really. Brian was comfortable having a close friendship which involved physical affection, and even jokes regarding it. He was just...he smelled nice, even when he was sweaty. He had really nice and soft hair. The way he gripped his leg and lifted him so easily was nice. The way the crotch of his jeans felt against his—" After the Shadow of the Colossus Gill and Gilbert, Pat and Brian find themselves dealing with the fact that there are consequences to being in on-and-off intimate positions with your coworker for over an hour, and those consequences tend to manifest themselves quite noticeably in your pants.

Patrick figures it's a little late in his life for these kinds of realizations. Brian, though, has a way of making him want things he'd never thought possible.

Crafting the perfect Pokerap takes time, and a little help, and a little inspiration from an unlikely place.

Brian has a successful web series. And anxiety. And shingles. And postherpetic neuralgia. And crippling insecurity. And student loans. And an inferiority complex. And a crush on his co-worker. So yeah, he’s doing great, how are you?

Simone grins wider and runs her other hand through his hair. “Okay, here’s your warning. You’re gonna eat me out, and then I’m gonna ride you.” Brian’s dick twitches in her hand and Pat groans from the bed and she laughs. “Seems like everyone thinks that’s a great idea, so…”

Brian’s laughing as they drag each other up the stairs of Pat’s apartment, their hips bumping with every step. “Am I making you the worst neighbor in the world?” Brian whispers loudly, while Pat tries his best to get his key in the lock. Brian’s leaning against the wall, wiping at his eyes. “We can make it worse,” Pat says, and he can feel himself grinning. “We can make it so much worse.”

At the start, Jon was embarassed by the size differences. He never thought he was scrawny, at least not compared to others at Winterfell, but he knew he could never stand at eye level with Tormund

Shiro is waiting for Keith on the bridge when Matt comes to say hello. Keith finds them in a compromising looking position, which accidentally opens up a new world of possibilities. Written for Kinktober Day 4 - Spitroasing

Jon Snow has been having dreams. Of Old Valyria, of a girl with brown hair and grey eyes, of a silver haired woman with dragons. He spends his waking hours brooding and pretending he is not watching Tormund Giantsbane too closely and that Tormund is not watching back.

"To be clear," Zevran said, offering his own glass to the Iron Bull on the correct assumption that he wouldn't much care what he drank from, "I have nothing against bedding married couples. I find it can be quite exhilarating."

The first time Griffin touches him, Brian flinches.

To be fair, part of it was Simone helping them communicate, setting them up, or, as she likes to tell it, “getting you to stop being dumbasses about each other.”

“First thing is simple, I’m going to feel your pulse points, see where’s going to be best for me to sink my teeth in.” Brian laughs a little. Pat thinks it would be villainous, if someone else said that. Or... the friendly vampire!au no one asked for.

“Nope,” he says, popping the p, and Pat knows what's coming and it's proof of his dumbass love for this boy that it's not a deal breaker, “you can just call me Brian. Put your hand in my hair though, Pat Gill, I like it when you think you're in control.”

She’s barely days away from finally challenging Yagura for his seat, so of course Zabuza chooses now to make himself a problem.

This was not his bedroom; this was definitely not his apartment. It was a single room, with a small table across from the bed and a fireplace on the back wall. When he looked out the window, he could see evergreen trees and the chatty bird who wanted everyone to know what his plans for the day were. The walls and floor were plain wood, and a small painting of a tree hung on the wall. At the end of the bed—which was not Brian’s normal bed—Pat looked about two minutes away from an anxiety attack. Mentally, Brian gave Pat a pass for what he would usually consider an overreaction. “Are we,” Brian started, then tried again: “Is this—?” Pat nodded, holding out a small yellow pouch with a parsnip drawn on the front and an open letter addressed to Brian.

Your conversation with your mom is less informative than your conversation with your sister. You text: > Hey so are you kicking me out of the house for Thanksgiving or what She responds: > Dont put it like that > But yes > Hv fun w/the gberts! Followed by a series of emoji: a turkey, a pie, a kiss, and a firework.

“You are more North than anyone of those cock-sucking lords and ladies, crow. You fought alongside us against the dead. You died for us, and for that, you’ll always have a home beyond the Wall regardless of who sired you.” Jon’s breath stilled in his lungs when Tormund pressed their foreheads together. He’d seen other wildlings embrace like this before, but it had always been between family members. Warmth bloomed from the contact. Jon swallowed, willing his heart to be still so he could hear Tormund’s whispered words. “Jon,” The fire-kissed wildling said, “Not a Targaryen or Snow. Just Jon.” (Season8!AU where Daenarys does not burn down King’s Landing, Jon actually helps, and Rhaegal lives. Self Indulgent Fix-it.)

Sometimes friendship means forgiveness. Sometimes friendship means calling you on your bullshit.

"Think I could make you come like this?

When Zevran is hired by the Grey Wardens to help take out a Venatori stronghold, an experimental plant there releases spores that inflict Alistair with a particularly unusual debilitating effect. Zevran's treatment of him proves to be surprising for both parties.

He coughs with his teeth clenched shut, blood seeping out but petals held in. Well, he thinks, at least this way he dies on his own terms.

Short fic about newly-crowned King Alistair coming to terms with being married to Anora, and vice versa.

When Kaz explained the mission to her, he'd described a deep-sea fish whose scales could reverse the harmful, out of control magic that was razing the streets of Ketterdam. No one had expected to find this, a half-dead, half-Siren Shu floating in the depths of a ship.

“There are two people I can think of who might know anything,” Lavellan said. “Experts - on the Fade, on the history of elvhenan. Unfortunately,” a grimace, “one of them has vanished, and if all the resources of the Inquisition can’t find him, I doubt you can.” “And the other?” Fenris demanded. “Something from my own history, for once. Not an Inquisition thing. There is - a criminal,” said Lavellan. “Exiled from the clans. She was the blood mage who murdered Clan Sabrae and its Keeper. Last I heard she was living in Kirkwall. A very dangerous woman - possibly insane, actually - but I met her once at Arlathven, and if anyone could help you -” “Merrill?” _ Hawke was left in the Fade. Fenris goes looking for him. He doesn't go alone.