The Atlantis expedition has been lost for three years. SG-1 goes to find them, and arrives just a little too late.

Dorian enjoys being fingered while Bull watches television and Bull certainly has no complaints.

What do you get for the girl who already has everything and really doesn't want to marry you? A kidnapping, apparently. No, that doesn't actually make any sense, but as The Iron Bull is about to find out, Dorian Pavus and Livia Herathinos don't appear to actually consider themselves bound by the rules of common sense. Isabela just can't believe someone's actually paying her for this. Lucky!

possible subtitle: and other reasons The Iron Bull is no longer allowed to suggest titles for his films In which Dorian is just getting used to his new life in Ferelden, when he discovers that his upstairs neighbour is somebody he knows. And by knows he means recognises from the movies, and by movies he means porn, and by recognises he means has had a slight obsession with since Rilienus taught him the twin joys of proxy servers and sites that charge their subscription to your credit card under names like ART FILMS, INC. (also: in which Halward is an asshole, as always, Rilienus is kinda a jerk, Felix remains perfect because Felix, and Sera is the mystical goddess who grad students pray to when they want free leftover sandwiches to turn up)

Everyone talks to Shitty, including his Hausmates.

Kurama just wants to finish his nap in peace. A particularly idiotic human is making that rather hard.

Tobirama comes to on a field heavy with the scent of blood, to a rout of shinobi in unfamiliar uniforms but sporting familiar hitai-ate. There's a whisper in his head, paradise denied, but death is in front of him and he can't waste time on regrets.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: omg Utakata and Haku making delicate icebubble art pieces in the winter and Zabuza scoffs at them but he still sits and watches them put the pieces together and even volunteers kubikiribocho sometimes because that hole at the end is a pretty good bubble ring.

The Inquisitor is an Avvar. Dorian tries to be understanding and make allowances for cultural differences. In hindsight, that was possibly his first mistake.

Jason Todd isn't what Batman made him, he isn't what the Joker made him, he isn't what the League of Assassins made him, and he isn't what the Lazarus Pit made him. He's his own person and he's taking himself back, one home renovation at a time. Also he might just make friends with the people who are supposed to be his brothers while he's at it.

What's left of the little eggplant is a half-empty packet of cigarettes and a bloodied tie.

…as witnessed, told, and suffered through by the Bravest Warrior of the Sea, Usopp. Sanji loves Zoro. Zoro loves Sanji. They are also, somehow, obliviously, infuriatingly, in an unrequited love with each other. Usopp thinks he can do something about it. He really should have had more self-preservation instinct than that.

Zoro gets lost, Sanji gets captured by the marines, the Strawhats break into the ship's prison, and they all escape with a bang. Not exactly in that order, much to the confusion of Sanji's cellmates.

Sanji is carefully placing a cherry on top of the ice cream, his hands nimble, soft, almost—gentle. But all Zoro sees is the way the hems of his pants are still soaked in blood from an earlier skirmish with a marine ship, red seeping into the cracks on the floorboard, spattering across the kitchen floor in a slow drip, drip, drip. Zoro stares, fascinated. He can’t bring himself to look away. (Or, Zoro and Sanji—terrible monsters, in love)

The sign, standing unassuming outside the Grand Line Coffee Shop in a handwriting Sanji recognizes as Usopp’s, says: TODAY YOUR BARISTA IS: 1. Hella fucking gay. 2. Desperately single. FOR YOUR DRINK TODAY I’D RECOMMEND: You give me your number. Or, the one coffee shop au where Usopp pulls a prank, Sanji is unexpectedly (read: completely unexpected to him and only him) popular among the male population of their campus, and Zoro just wants to grab a coffee.

Sanji doesn't think much will come out of his one-sided crush on the green-haired tiger. After all, he's only seen him a handful of times. At least, until they become roommates.

No one ever said that pirates fight fair, but if someone bites you in a fight then it's perfectly reasonable to bite them back. Sanji has to learn that life isn't fair and nothing else is either but that bad jokes and falling in love certainly makes unlife worth living. Zosan/Sanzo tw:blood and blood drinking

Jaime's secret identity is pretty easily shared. It's the other secret that gives him a lot of problems.

Look, Jason knows how to use condoms. This is not his responsibility.

Okay, and that was why Bruce had sidekicks. It absolutely made a person feel better about all their shitty mistakes.

It was Cass who found him.

"Do I look like that much of a damsel in distress to you?"

Angry, traumatized girls. Let's give them more weapons.

Superhero or not, Jaime's boyfriend has to meet the parents.

When Tim Drake was 2 years old, his parents moved to Metropolis.

Dick Grayson gives shitty advice on how to go undercover as a hooker. Fortunately, Steph can do better.

If Zoro had the conscience to do anything but pant hotly and swallow moans, he might have laughed at the smear of cream on the cook’s nose.

It's the job of the captain to pick the crew, and the duty of the first mate to test them for worthiness. How Zoro came to accept each of the straw hats as nakama.

"It's the job of the captain to pick the crew, and the duty of the first mate to test them for worthiness. How Zoro came to accept each of the straw hats as nakama."

He knows that it's probably unhealthy to hate follow people on tumblr but THIS GUY, this fucking guy... he's just too much.

In a world where everyone has a mark to identify their soulmate, Luffy is born without one. But that’s okay, because the future Pirate King doesn’t have time for boring mushy romance. His nakama, however, are another story.

Post Drum Island-Arc. Chopper likes everyone in his new herd. Although he's not quite so sure about Zoro, who smells like metal and blood.

In a world where Zoro isn't even a person any more can he ever be free or manage to do anything more than just survive? He should have known that he'd be bought eventually but this... isn't what he'd expected. Zosan, updated weekly. All comments, thoughts and wild-mass-guessings welcome!

"Luf--fy!" Nami sings out. "It's tiiiime!" The rubber whirlwind bounces into the room and pings off three walls on its way to the bed. "Zoro! Hey, Zoro, are you okay? Did they give you MEAT yet, because I told them they should. Can I get you--"

The humans are likely taking care of the conversations. Gaila and Kori can attend to much more pleasant diplomatic endeavors.

Phichit's phone buzzes. christophe-gc has posted a new photo, it tells him. When he thumbs the screen, it brightens to reveal a shot of Christophe Giacometti, lounging on a bench, wearing nothing but a Speedo and his skates. greetings from your local king of selfies, says the caption. Phichit doesn't actually know Chris - not personally. He has nothing to prove. But Phichit is also, categorically, a competitive little shit, and he knows he can do better. So it begins.

Pepper Potts inherits a failing hockey team at 25. She builds her staff and team her way, screw what anyone else thinks. She wants a Stanley Cup.

"The most notable holidays in the Resistance, ironically, aren't from a planet at all--or they were, but it's a planet that was turned to dust and nothing before Rey was even born."

“You mean to tell me you’ve never touched yourself.” Rey knows that there’s a great deal she doesn’t understand about the universe, but sometimes, compared to Finn, she feels utterly worldly. This is one of those times.

Finn is somewhat underprepared. Poe is only trying to help.

He hears: “turn here” and “listen carefully” and Poe nearly trips as a Stormtrooper says the words that wrap around Poe’s right thigh.

Fleeing from political enemies, Dorian Pavus never expected to face a far greater danger on the high seas — a danger to himself, and a danger to his heart... A thoroughly pornographic pulp romance.

Seven Happily Ever Afters that weren't. Welcome to the Wonderful World of Disney.

The best thing about “trade negotiations” is that no one is ever likely interrupt them.

You can't control your lungs. It's ridiculous, this is just a bit of rope, you could bite or claw through it if you tried hard enough (no you couldn't, he's too good at this.)

Leia glided closer, brushing Luke’s hair out of his face, then leaning in. “Both of us,” she whispered, and then kissed him firmly. Han could feel Luke let go of all the tension in his body all at once. If he had stopped holding him up, Luke would have simply dropped to the floor.

"Kel finds some boys picking on a dog."

"The best advice comes from those who know who you are (who've walked this path before). Relena and her mother, in vignettes."

Five times Parker, Hardison, and Eliot lived out romcom tropes for a con, and one time they found themselves in one for real.

t's taken Poe a long time to get to where they are now, to accept this part of their identity. Poe has never been a boy, and so few people know it.