Her clothes ripple away into blue skin, she keeps her eyes on his face as it does. She sees the shock and doesn’t bother waiting for the disgust. She smiles. “What’s wrong baby?” She asks as innocently as she can. “Don’t you think I’m pretty now?” “Beautiful.” He breathes in reverent Vietnamese.
The Professor he knew was a stern though caring man and he had a welcoming smile like that of a father but it was sometimes too stiff. The Charles he knew from the past was bitter, reckless and stubborn. This Professor though, was very much like the Professor he knew but he had a—dare he say it—tune to his voice and a skip to his er…wheeling. Logan couldn’t really put his tongue on it but there was just something. (Where Logan tries to figure out just what's so different about this future with no Sentinels out to skewer them like it's BBQ night all day, everyday)
Peter wasn't really looking for more family.
"Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week."
Natasha becomes an internet phenomenon. It's nothing that she was ever trained for.
Google politely tells her there are no poisonous spiders in Manhattan. Judging by her symptoms -- fever, superstrength, newfound desire to shove herself into small dark spaces, and sudden reputation as a masked vigilante -- Gwen would beg to differ. [Spider!Gwen AU.]
Tim doesn't need Kryptonite to control Kon in the bedroom.
"Yeah. Thanks. Just what I need. Black lipstick."
"His name is Tim and I think my dick will never understand the difference between fear and arousal again."
"Didn't you know, Jason?" Tim says, voice light and taking on that tone that their public personas use, "I'm a winter. Lavender is my color."
In which Tim is the Witch, Jason was supposed to be the debt but turns out to be Red Hood, and there are shenanigans because life isn't that great when your mom was Janet Drake. A series in which fairytales collide to make life awkward and horrible. (Tim the witch, Jason as Rapunzel turned witch-hunter, and more to be added along the way.)
Geno’s been running away for years, from the scandal in Magnitogorsk, from any chance of getting his heart broken again. He’s working as a bouncer in Pittsburgh when he meets Sidney Crosby—hockey phenom, single dad, looking for someone to handle personal security for his little girl.
"It's a match made in high society heaven." Tim drawls. "Also, it's your turn to make dinner tonight, you should get on that."
"Why does Ra's know how old my piercings are?" Tim asks, and does he know where they are.
Tim refrains from telling Jason that most people are terrified of sharks. It seems a bit pointless. Tim isn't most people, after all.
"Is it too early to go and lock myself in my room and scream?"
Kon raises an eyebrow, "You weren't kissing random people. I mean – you looked pretty goal oriented when you went off to shove your tongue down his throat and make friends with his tonsils."
babybirdblues asked you: That one story where Tim gets his nanny to rescue Jason from a Bad Man (Joker) because Tim is an evil genius who has already taken over Gotham. No one touches his Robins or Batman. In which Tim Drake has the entire underground wrapped around his little finger - and Deathstroke the Terminator will not say no on threat of puppy eyes.
"I don't taunt you with relationships with other men. I have relationships with other men because you leave me unfulfilled and angry and ready to punch someone in the dick."
Cards Against Humanity is not a good game to play with the Avengers, just not for the reasons that Clint was expecting.
In a world where he didn’t die at the bridge, Obito is a loyal Konoha shinobi, even if his Konoha is practically gone. Rather than die at the hands of Orochimaru, Obito triggers an experimental time-space jutsu that sends him across dimensions, into a world where his counterpart went insane and Kakashi is mystifyingly different.
Naruto gets his hands on the key to his seal too early, and the yang and yin chakra of Kyuubi are freed. As in, now there are three Narutos.
Sakura just wants everyone to get along, almost as much as she wants to get laid.
Itachi and Madara massacre the clan, but they miss one member. Obito, loyal Konoha ANBU and disowned Uchiha, suddenly finds himself out of the organization that’s been his life for eight years and raising a traumatized, orphaned child. Kakashi helps. Or watches and plays the smartass, it’s a bit of a tossup.
Allison is the first person he sees when he gets back.
Somehow, somewhere along the way, Orochimaru falls in love with his teammate. This…changes things.
For the sake of his pride, Jiraiya's going to imagine that his double went out in the bed of some voracious and lusty twins—no, make that triplets, with everyone wildly satisfied and a smile on his face. The whole alternate universe thing is easier to swallow that way.
When Loki attempts to mind-control Tony Stark in the middle of the Chitauri invasion, he unlocks powerful memories and abilities, and Tony realises that he's something greater and more powerful than he ever knew. And so is Steve Rogers, but that's a slightly different problem.
Mutants have been extinct since the Eugenics War. But then, Jim's the exception to everything.
"Armin," Eren says, flexes his hands on Armin's hips. "What. Do you. Want?"
Jean would just like to make it absolutely clear that making out with Eren was an accident. An accident he is currently still having.
“Holy fucking shit,” Levi states, examining the dick in front of him. “I take back my promise to deep-throat you. Take it way back.” “Um,” Erwin says, "That's fine."
It’s not that Nitori’s into rough play – (Except that he really, really is) – but he’s found a fascination with Rin’s smile.
Rei had actually planned on studying tonight, when he invited Nagisa over.
After regionals, he hits a low. This isn’t particularly surprising – Rei has been doing so good for so long, engaged and alive and happy, he thinks, a little bit happy, so of course a low would have to come and even things out – but how unsurprising it is doesn’t comfort Rei when he wakes up feeling the first embers of something slow and sad and dark burning low in his stomach.
"You can't tell me you didn't pick up jack shit while you were living with the tongue freak and his harem of boytoys." It shouldn't be difficult for three teammates and friends to figure out how they fit, both figuratively, and... not. And yet.
kchanlp: NaruSasu + Itachi. Maybe hipster? In which big brother has to teach Sasuke how he should first and foremost close the goddamn door when his goddamn boyfriend is in his room doing goddamn... things.
Sasuke discovers something about the Uchiha clan.
Night Vale’s all racewank, and Sleepy Hollow is too, White Collar’s just started, and don’t mention Doctor Who.
"Let's go steal a Jaeger," Parker said, smiling a wolf's smile.
Marco wakes up dead, and it isn’t really what he expected at all. He’s not sure how he knows he’s dead, but he opens his eyes and sees the building across from him and the gore strewn merrily across the cobblestones and he knows he’s dead the same way he knows that the sun rises in the east and that Jean will never, never get over this. "Fuck," he says.
Monogamy is for a world where your life expectancy is more than double your current age, and sometimes things get complicated.
They’re all soaked through with sweat and stink worse than corpses when Reiner notices the outline of something under Connie’s shirt, notices sort of that there’s a slight curve to his chest that wasn’t there before. And Reiner isn’t particularly observant, so if he noticed he’s pretty fucking sure other people have too, and sure enough, when he swivels his head, he sees Thomas nudging Nic and gesturing to Connie with a tilt of his head. They both snicker to each other, and Reiner feels his gut sour.
“This is a vagina,” Sasha says, sounding vaguely confused and Connie grits his teeth, shifts his hips away slightly because he’s fucked it up, hasn’t he, he got too into it and now he’s fucked it up – “Yeah,” Connie mutters.
A collection of my shorter fills for snk-kink on dreamwidth. Mostly gen humor. Mostly.
“Oh. Well, okay.” A voice rings out behind Erwin, and he freezes, despair coiling in his gut because this is the end, he’s been seen and he’ll be captured and experimented on and it’s five in the goddamn morning, who else is in the showers? He chose this time specifically because no one else is ever in the showers at five in the fucking morning. (Or: Erwin has wings and Hanji walks in on him naked.)
Armin can be kind. People always tend to make the mistake of assuming that makes him nice, and he can’t help but feel that mistake clanging dissonantly in his chest as he sprints down the last living member of his squad, blade already in hand, Eren’s sloppy chewing noises behind him.
In the end, it's only Lydia and Stiles left. Alone and desperate, oh so desperate. Desperate times and desperate measures and all that, but emphasis on the times. With nothing else left to lose, they find a way to change it all. And Stiles may just figure out the key to stopping everything that ever went wrong - well, from Peter onwards. Because he's older and wiser (sort-of) and beginning to understand in a way that he never did before. After all, the strength of the wolf is the pack, right?
