Modern AU. Arthur and Morgana are Metropolitan police officers drawn into a strange case involving robbery of ancient artifacts. Merlin is a graduate student at Imperial College studying the healing plants of Ancient Britain under Gaius – or at least that's what he tells everyone. Soon they, along with Gwen, Lancelot and Uther, will be facing a battle for the future of the country. Can they defend the realm from those who would seek to destroy it?

“I’m not his date,” John snaps, for what must be the fucking umpteenth time in the fucking week.

It certainly wasn't the first time he'd been woken up at ridiculous o'clock; it wasn't even the first time he'd been woken up at ridiculous o'clock in London, in the comfort of his own flat. But as John Watson's fingers closed reflexively over the handle of the bedside drawer, yanked, and then plunged inside to close around the familiar weight of his side arm, he realised that it was the first time he'd been woken up by Sherlock Holmes silhouetted on the threshold of his room, with a feather in his hair, snapping his fingers peremptorily and announcing: “Gun. Now.”

One would think being a famous astronaut, the darling of the Royal Spacefaring Corps and the heir to the throne besides, would afford him certain privileges. But oh, no, of course not; because he was the best pilot (or so they told him, and who was he to argue?) he got tasked with the most dangerous operations in the most experimental spacecraft. Which would not normally be a problem – after all, it wasn’t a boast that Arthur could fly anything with a fusion engine – but clearly the new Excalibur craft had been cobbled together out of spare parts and welded into a whole with chewed-up Maynard’s Wine Gums, because he was only halfway to Epsilon Eridani when bits began to fly off the bloody thing and he had to ditch on the nearest planet before the entire cockpit fell apart around him...

"The likelihood of finding a cab on Christmas Eve is fast approaching nil." "So was the likelihood of you kissing me in the middle of the pavement, and yet."

Uther fears his son's power, and Merlin has helped Arthur flee to escape imprisonment. Now the two of them must fight to regain Arthur's rightful place in Camelot.

A few months have passed since the Avengers fought the Chitauri, and the team is coming together, except for Tony, who seems to be coming apart. At first, Steve assumes that he's just being irresponsible and annoying, but then JARVIS clues him in.

"Because I promise you, if this happens again, which I know it won't, this place will burn."

Stark is arrogant, offensive, insensitive and everything Steve Rogers hates about the twenty first century, but not everything is as it seems. Companion piece to Iron Man Yes, Tony Stark…Not Recommended and runs simultaneously with those events.

Snow is the beginner's substance of choice for all cave-ins and trapped-in-the-wilderness scenarios. Why couldn't it have been snow?

"The SHIELD interceptor spaceship Avenger is under final attack. Aboard her, sitting in his cell, the war criminal Tony Stark gets ready for the confrontation, and the revelation, that he knows is about to come. Roughly 6000 words of a random Space Opera AU."

To marry an Addams means taking marriage very seriously. After all, it is till death do you part. And even then, sometimes they come back.

The first thing Merlin Emrys thought when he was born, was "Oh, hell no."

One criminal consultant. One consulting detective. One serial killer. And one perhaps inadvisable bet...

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

"You've got a hickey on the back of your neck!" A Neckz 'n Throats story.

Tazer gives it a couple of days and the beginning of a visit from Kaner's mom that exiles him back to his own condo before he says, "You're going to need a nanny."

In breaking news, surprising no one, Sharpy is a dick.

It takes 140 characters or less and one absolute fucking moron to change Jon's entire life forever. He should have known all along it would be Kaner. It always is.

Nice things begin to happen to Derek Hale and it kind of freaks him out.

25, openly bisexual and even more openly disinclined to stick around for breakfast, blond, and possessed of a college education that passed through 3 Ivies before ending up at a State campus that has a new Kane-funded Economics building, Patrick Kane is an open book. Less of a mystery novel and more of a cartoon pamphlet on avoiding STDs. Jon wishes he’d listened to his mom when she told him George Devereux from down the street had work going in his lawnmower repair business.

Seven ways Tony's personal jet gets demoted to 'transatlantic taxicab'. (Nobody believes him when he claims to mind.)

At the end of Advent Children, Cloud is offered a choice.

Kaner tries to fuck his way out of love. That goes as well as you might imagine. That's my summary. But liketheroad's summary is also applicable: In which THERE IS A BACHELOR AUCTION TO SAVE ALL THE PUPPIES OF CHICAGO AND TAZER IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO SAVE THOSE PUPPIES AND KANER TRIES TO FUCK HIS WAY OUT OF LOVE BUT OH TOO BAD FOR YOU KANER, YOU HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS FOR THAT.

Tony's not surprised Cap is the only one of them who had gotten a dose of the red stuff--he'd been in the middle of everything, as per usual--saving civilians and agents and kicking robot ass for the Free World. He's a little more surprised to discover that Darcy had been one of those agents. And by the time they're all stuck in the elevator together--Steve and Darcy pressed together in one corner, everybody else in the other—it doesn’t take long to figure out why the stupid villain they’d been fighting had stopped to fondle one of his bots

By the fourth time Crosby has hung up on him, Alex has to admit that this has gone from funny to, frankly, a little hurtful.

In a world where Sentinels, people with five heightened senses, bond mentally and spiritually with Guides, people gifted with empathetic powers, Tony Stark has spent thirty-three years overwhelmed by the emotions of those around him and running from his own. Sentinel Steve Rogers wakes up sixty years out of his own time and struggles to deal with the massive amount of new sensory input while trying to find his footing in a New York very different from the one he knew. When they finally find each other, how will their bond change them?

Okay, she thinks, in a zen-like state of calm: given a chump assignment, she not only managed to fall in a well, she somehow dragged Captain America--living legend, supersoldier, level 7 SHIELD consultant, and Avenger--down with her. This means two things: 1) Captain America knows who she is now, and thinks she’s a dumbass, and 2) SHIELD is probably going to make her disappear as punishment (likely by throwing her in another, deeper well and pretending she never existed). “Don’t mind me,” she says faintly. “I’m just gonna drown myself now.”

Derek is thrown into a violent heat in the wake of Lydia and Peter's actions at the end of Party Guessed. Debilitated by his own needs, Derek reaches out to Stiles, the only person he wants and can hope to trust.

“You should come with me, you know,” Kaner says slowly, unclear how many drinks they’ve had at this point, or when they’d actually ditched the rest of the guys at the bar and ended up cabbing it to Johnny’s place. New Moon Shine: Stiles loves new moon nights. That One Time Tazer Got a Black Eye: That one time Tazer got a black eye. It takes an ocean not to break: “Come with you where?” “To the bathroom, Johnny,” Kaner says, rolling his eyes. “To Europe, ass.”

#no seriously #where’s the au #where some witches or warlocks or something turn stiles into a cat #and he lurks in wait in the abandoned train station #waiting for derek to walk by so stiles can blitz-attack his ankles

"Yes, Kaner," Sharpy's saying as Jonny sits down next to them with a beer. "It would indeed be gay to measure your teammates' dicks to find out whose is biggest."

Stiles has been getting gifts lately… a lot of them.

In a world where Derek lets Scott kill the Alpha and get the cure, he has to figure out how to rebuild his life, with help from Stiles.

“People who want to eat my grilled cheese for dinner should learn not to interrupt the delicate purchasing process with their unwelcome mockery,” Claude says. Danny and Claude move to Berlin. Nothing really changes, until everything does.

Her parents congratulated Toph on learning to read, but said that as much as they admired her newfound ability to write they'd rather she didn't bend "Toph Bei Fong was here" into all the decorative boulders.

His mom had told him not to fall in love with houses; so had his dad, made some crack about them being worse than women, son, while his mom fake-punched him in the arm and then added, "and like people, it's what's underneath that matters, Johnny." But this is the first house he's looked at that he's liked, though he doesn't know why: it's got narrow, pointy windows with stone pieces on the tops like eyebrows, and it sits between its larger, tidier, neighbours like a poor cousin. Johnny thinks it maybe just needs someone to love it; and then he thinks: fuck.

"I accept your body!" Stiles says hurriedly. "I accept you. Sexually." There is a pause. Derek says, "Thanks." A surprise comedy knotting story. You have a lot to answer for, Twitter fandom.

Hear His Alibis: creepy never looked so cute - or, how Sheriff Stiles accidentally adopted a juvenile offender. (another) pyromaniac au. Multiplied By Seven:Derek isn't exactly like other people. Stiles doesn't say that because he's in love with him, or whatever. He's not like Scott, who thinks Allison hung the freaking moon, or was the first girl to ever let a guy under her bra. Derek isn't like other people. Sometimes he's not exactly sane. psychopaths in love - the story from Derek & Stiles's side. companion fic to 'hear his alibis

Movie nights with Kaner become a thing once they begin to get recognized enough that physically going to the movies means he spends a couple of days waiting for the Deadspin exposé entitled Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane Have Terrible Taste in Movies, Each Other to hit the internet.

This is like the pre-credits sequence of every horror movie, he's probably going to be eaten before the main character is even introduced.

Danny is bruised. Their werewolf drama has officially bruised Danny. This is the worst day ever.

Geno and Ovie move to America. Speaking English all the time is a little difficult; falling head over heels for Sidney Crosby is a lot harder. Especially since Geno can't seem to make himself talk to Sidney to save his life.

Stiles' gets a massage. And then his mouth gets him into the best kind of trouble.

Stiles gets a massage. And then some. Alternatively: in which Stiles' mouth gets him into trouble, again and again.

Stiles hangs out with werewolves. Stiles dresses up as Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween. It's supposed to be ironic.

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Kaner wakes up soulbonded to Tazer. Then gay shit happens.

None of them have discussed the fact that Duncs is dating knock-off Seabses, because what can they really do about it?

The thing about gymnastics is that it's a lot of work. And time. And busted muscles, And calluses everywhere. (Yes. Even there.) And having no social life whatsoever. All that for the distinction of being really good at gymnastics. Which does not exactly bolster Stiles's already tenuous masculinity.