For some reason, after his father's funeral Dave Sheppard keeps getting e-mail from Ronon Dex.

"The castle is sweltering in the midsummer heat, stones breathing damply under the sun's height when even the air lies still."

I was saying something on Twitter about how much easier it is to write really dirty-hot fic when Adam Lambert is involved, because while, eg, fanon!Ryan Ross may think he's a sex god, fanon!Adam actually is. ... and then someone said something about Adam/RyRo, and this happened.

"Steve finds the Iron Man plushie on a table in the middle of the city, sitting between a stack of sunglasses and DVD cases. He chuckles when he picks it up, noting the uneven stitches and the red places that ought to be gold. It looks a little like a high school home economics project made by an apathetic student, but it’s still undeniably Iron Man and Steve is tickled."

Vampires Will Never Hurt You: Gerard clenches his fists tighter. "It's a disease," he says defensively. You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart...: Frank has high school figured out. His mom has given up arguing about the amount of time he spends in Gerard's basement, and he doesn't actually care if people think it's weird that he and Gerard hold hands in the hallways and go to the bathroom together. The only thing Frank cares about is figuring out why Gerard's suddenly avoiding him -- because what's the point of losing your virginity on Prom Night if you can't tell your best friend about it in the morning?

Frank's a vampire, and he's finally ready to let the world know.

It's already been one year, and he's still got one more year to wait.

A crossover with Twilight. Yuusuke and crew must unearth the truth behind the Forks vampires. What adventures do they have in store? It's srs bizness, u gais.

Steve finds the Iron Man plushie on a table in the middle of the city, sitting between a stack of sunglasses and DVD cases. He chuckles when he picks it up, noting the uneven stitches and the red places that ought to be gold. It looks a little like a high school home economics project made by an apathetic student, but it’s still undeniably Iron Man and Steve is tickled.

So then, because he’s Hardison, he created a fandom.

Unorthodox Methods: "AU from original premise of SPN – Sam goes to law school and eventually joins the FBI, where he gets assigned as Peter’s probie, and the New York FBI office staff are amused, and eventually, slightly traumatized." pockets full of stones: "This is a trick." my favorite view: "The one where Jon is a fetish photographer." It Is Written (aka The Brave Knight Saves the Handsome Prince From a Fate Moste Untenable): "Fairy-tale AU, wherein Kris is a knight, and Adam is... a unicorn." How Becky Totally Saved the World Without Becoming a Mary Sue or: PLEASE R&R OR I'LL NEVER WRITE: "The upside of living with a prophet was the fanfic. And the forewarning of the apocalypse. But, mostly the fic." A Sam Adams Moment: "The clutch of seven ZPMs they find on Dedahr's rocky third moon results, in rough chronological order, in a brief fainting fit on Rodney's part; a message back to Atlantis that creates near hysteria amongst its scientists and startles a truly blasphemous exclamation in Czech out of Zelenka; a fully-powered city whose midnight glow is refracted through its shields; five destroyed hive ships and one very raucous, ruus-wine fuelled celebration; wormhole travel back to Earth, which is soon protected once more by the Ancient weapons platform in Antarctica; and the IOC declaring that the expedition's brief can be expanded from defence to broader exploration."

Eyes ahead.

BOB IN SPACE: "Bob really hated it when aliens tried to eat his team." untitled sga/bandom ficlet: "For seven days after he arrives in Atlantis, Ryan doesn't say a word to anyone." Otherworldly Experiences: "Four times Mikey ended up in the Pegasus galaxy." Like Souls That Balance Joy And Pain: "Eugene is, quite literally, tangled." All The Days We Never Lived: "Five ways that Tangled didn't end." Hell Yeah I'm the Motherfucking Princess: "Gerard is a pretty pretty princess, but a very sad one, because his parents except him to marry a prince and all the princes suck! So his only joy comes from visiting Mikey, who is accidentally a dragon, and drawing. Until one day, Frank enters his life! And suddenly, both Gerard's life and the diversionary ruffles on his pants have meaning." Blueprints For Building Better Boys: ""Eight years ago," Amanda begins, "Dr. Monae and myself began work on the ArchAndroid project. By the time they were ready, we'd designed and tested everything, right down to the cybernetics and the synthetic organs. Two months ago, we switched them on for the first time." Frank, Gerard, Ray, and Mikey are the ArchAndroids. Frank's got a faulty personality circuit, Gerard's primary memory chip is kind of temperamental, there's a bug somewhere in Mikey's speech protocol, and Ray's anger response lags like a motherfucker. They're also the world's most potty-mouthed robots, although with any luck there won't be any occasion for the world's press to find out about that." The Winner Takes It All: "It's Decaydance Stage-Gay Chicken. Let's play."

Tony has been MIA for just over fifteen hours and Steve is starting to worry.

He shoots Clint Barton in the thigh in an alleyway in Alphabet City, too close to District X for comfort. He uses his tie as a tourniquet and helps Barton to his feet and wonders if Barton always talks this much.

During the battle against Loki, Clint let the first taste of what his loss is going to feel like fuel his fighting. Now his abused brain calls game over. It places Clint's order at the shawarma restaurant and makes for greener pastures.

When he was younger, Clint wished really hard for someone. This fic is the prequel to 'you're the one who sees the darkness on the edge of town', which I've previously podficced here.

Natasha has reconciled herself to the past in ways he can't yet, in ways he might never be able to.

Welcome to Common Grounds, a small coffeehouse in Peoria. And you are never going to believe the incredible specimen of sex on legs that just walked in.

Few So Generous: After Odin falls into the Odinsleep, Frigga takes up her husband’s spear and the rule of Asgard. For Children: It's crept up on Natasha without her realizing it. Her Boss's Keeper: Diana has been working for the White Collar division for all of a week before she figures out that her new boss is, in fact, a thin shell of grouch over a marshmallow center. Five People Who Caught Darcy Doodling: Darcy can't always taser people to work out her frustration. Bros!: In which Darcy remembers something that Tony (mostly) doesn't, Jane is rendered awkward, and there is some snarking about polka-dot bras.

There are no bad eggs in the Gryffindor House, this is how it works. The good people go to the lion, the raven takes the cleverest of the bunch, the snake takes those who are rotten and the badger takes the rest. Everyone knows this, this is how it works. There are no bad Gryffindors, like there are no stupid Ravenclaws, cruel Hufflepuffs or good Slytherins. everyone knows this, this is how it works. No one goes against the status quo. This is how is goes.

“Yes, ma'am, please,” he says. It makes his dick harder, to beg for it, to address her like that, like a superior.

Title: And Only One Blanket Summary: The building they come to falls somewhere on the shed-shack-cabin-cottage continuum; the threat of frostbite makes Rose disinclined to be picky. Title: Going Both Ways Summary: Karkat can match him at either end of his scale, balancing both highs and lows with this kind of frothing, incoherent fury that's...kind of attractive, in the right light. All that energy. All that drive. Title: King of Spades Summary: ==> Dirk: fuck the Man.

Title: Gamzee: Show him all the hospitality Summary: Your best bro is coming over to see you in the motherfucking flesh. That's not something a lot of trolls are all up on doing with each other, on account of so many of you motherfuckers get your hate on so easy, but you are going to make Tavros so motherfucking welcome. Title: Gamzee and Tavros: Operate Plot Device Summary: "That was a motherfucking miracle machine you all up and found, chica." You're not sure you can believe your aurals, the way Gamzee's voice sounds, but when you turn your chair around the visual evidence backs up the aural: Gamzee must have tried the device, too. "Wow, uh," you say, blinking at him. Her. Title: Never Thirst Summary: "Man, I don't know, I kind of figure we're peas in a motherfucking pod, you and me, Tavbro. The kind of chill motherfuckers as would rather pity half a dozen brothers and sisters than get a serious motherfucking hate on for even one."

if dave strider was the subject of 'the raven' inspired by this picture

Kink meme fill. Stiles knows he isn't attractive to gay guys or straight girls. He decides to check in with Derek on the straight dudes thing. Scott wants it known that his only problem with this is that he had to be there to hear it.

The dark powers have some... particularly interesting applications.

Choices: "Sylar's on a quest for powers, but Gerard just wants to help." You Know These Words (Like an Old Country Song): "Movieverse. The one where Clint Barton used to be a Hunter. A crossover of sorts with Supernatural." Spin and Rinse: "Set in the early van days, Brian forces the boys to stop at a laundromat."

Come Now, We're Children (Let's Play A Game): He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one. Totally Not A Meet-Cute: "Gerard has had a crush on Train Guy for a while, but just going up and talking to him would be weird. He needs a reason, right?" In the Belly Of: "Because space whales…fish…are a thing. In multiple universes. (Look, Todd asked and I said Okay, and this is what happened. I don’t know either.)" Turn Your Head: "Written for the genderplay square at kink_bingo's April 2012 "gift baskets" challenge." Apple Bottom Jeans (And Other Love Songs): "Or, how Steve Rogers--kind of--learns to dance."

Gyzym's not!fics are addictive, I swear. So here are four more, kinda-sorta in the Bedtime Stories 'verse, but this time with bonus Teen Wolf! The titles are pretty self-explanatory, the links are to the texts on gyzym's tumblr, and I haven't linked to their individual downloads because that made the page really confusing - the files are clearly labelled, so if you don't want one, you can just delete it from the group folder.

He scowls and looks down to find a flimsy white box sitting on the welcome mat.

Stiles does things. WHILE BISEXUAL.

Ron goes looking for his missing best mate and finds something quite unexpected.

Steve sang in the shower. Of course Steve sang in the shower; if Tony had been making a list of stereotypical, I-came-from-the-1940s, Boy Scout traits, singing in the shower would be at the top of the list.

Son of Thunder: "A reunion, an offer, a promise. Star Trek XI/Thor crossover. Written for amine_eyes." Under The Suit (We Have To Work Together): "In which Charles and Erik's X-Men team up with the Avengers, but Erik's distracted by the guy in the metal suit."

Gyzym's not!fics are addictive, I swear. So much so, in fact, that I've done... sixteen more XD Since there are so many of them, I've put streaming in for all of them on my LJ, and all sixteen can be downloaded from the link below. All are rated G except the one marked otherwise

After the revelation that rumours of Phil's demise had been greatly exaggerated, there's a party at Stark Tower. It doesn't take much for Tony to throw a party, but this one's actually organised by Pepper, so will at least start out tasteful, civilised, and impeccably hosted.

Some things are true and some are not.

Steve looks after everyone, but no one looks after Steve. No one except Bucky.

Stop the Presses: "Kavanagh gets his revenge. Written for the Documentary Challenge in SGA Flashfic. Posted January 2006." Sandcastles: "Home is what you make it." Golden Rule Days (Our Modern Family Belongs To Us): "How Kat Barton comes to realizes that her very large “family” maybe isn’t normal—but that’s what makes it awesome. Movieverse. Inspired by workerbee73’s Career Day, but it got out of hand. >_>" Momentum: "It doesn't matter who you are; eventually, everyone's past catches up to them."

Natural Selection: "BEACON, also known as the Bureau of Enforcement, Armed Combat and Offensive Neutralization (it sure is offensive, Stiles thinks) has established the Avengers Initiative in order to, uh, fight crime. And rampaging alien hordes. And stuff....And somehow, in the middle of all this chaos, the Hulk and Iron Man find love." Kids From Yesterday (OR, Mohawks for Everyone): "Okay, this bandom family stuff is unreal. Who needs to make this shit up?"

Neal knows a very sad story about a thief and a sailor. Peter's still stuck on pirates.

Dean figured that once the apocalypse was over, the books would stop. Their destiny was done, right? Chuck didn't need to keep channeling them.

Sam found a way to get rid of them for almost a month at a time, a spell that lasted until the first night of the full moon.

Dean had them heading towards Golden Valley on I-93 when the semi and the fighter jet went screaming by, blasting at each other with what looked like laserbeams. That was crazy enough, even before both of them smashed into the overpass and stopped long enough to unfold into giant robots. (Crossover with Transformers)

The strategy had not included getting drunk himself and losing all sense of timing and being the tawdry and expensive rebound sex.

"I like your bass," says the creepiest fan who has ever managed to get Mikey alone. "It sparkles like danger."

Hardison, bless his geeky wee heart, ponders which Hogwarts House each of the team would be sorted into. Eliot just wants his damn headset fixed. (Dialogue-only)

Stormwings are infuriating, Daine is exhausted, and holding back takes too much effort.

Santana finds an ally where didn’t expect it…