"This is totally worse than the time they didn't tell me Cadbury chocolate is so much better here because they wanted to keep it all for themselves, the assholes. Flying broomsticks."

Scorpius has a stutter. Al has a way with words. Draco discovers their unlikely relationship.

The first time was rather a surprise, the second time just plain predictable. The third was supposed to go much differently, thank you very much, and the fourth devolved into cliché. The fifth, moreover… well. Neither of them really wishes to talk about that one, if you don't mind. & Now that the war is over, Severus is just trying to get on with things. He's not the only one.

As good as you get: "The problem was, really, Kris Allen was a tease." If You Can't See Where It Keeps Its Brain: "The Sorting Hat has its own agenda." I Woke Up In Love This Morning: He was hazy, half-asleep and incredibly comfortable and still half-lost in the most amazing dream. Five Reasons Xander Harris Hates Pete Wentz: If the Bandom'verse and the Buffy'verse all occupied the same 'verse, this is exactly what would have happened. red, red, gold: "Her name is Tasha Stark, and you won’t break her."

Saving And Being Saved: "Five boys and Battle School. Nobody is satisfied, but one can imagine Graff doesn't care." Fangs Up: "Someone finally takes notice of the fact that Gabe Saporta says he spoke to a snake." One Man Band: "It takes Spencer a while to figure it out, but he doesn't let it change how he behaves when he does." Patrick Stump's Strip Joint, or The One Where They're All Strippers Apart From Patrick Who Has Taken Up Handicrafts (Not Like That): "The one where they're all (pretty terrible) strippers, Patrick owns the strip joint, and his therapist has suggested he take up a hobby."

The problem with teaching someone with a deeply vindictive personality Occlumency was the inevitable problem of his using it to evil ends. Or, Remus Lupin, Sultan's Pleasure Slave.

When you've always known you like girls, it's easy to grow up believing you were really meant to be a boy. After all, that's the way the world works, isn't it? Boys like girls. Girls like boys. If you like girls, you must be a boy, especially if you were born with the bits boys have.

Draco wants to find out what it's like to be friends with Harry, but when he discovers that Harry is gay, realises that he wants much more.

AI/HP crossover. Kris Allen is an American transfer student in Gryffindor who comes into his Veela powers on his 17th birthday. Adam Lambert is a libertine Slytherin who wants to take advantage of Kris’s newfound allure.

“There’s a reason they call this place the Forbidden Forest.”

Someone (carol) mentioned Harry Potter and Kris Allen on Twitter, and I said, oh, I'd love to write a crossover. So she suggested Kris/Giant Squid. This is the resulting story, for round seven

It's time for a change, and Ginny decides to take a risk. It also time for beating Draco at his own game.

The first thing Merlin Emrys thought when he was born, was "Oh, hell no."

Five times Stiles served mostly normal drinks in a coffee shop.

Jess’s dad is the one who first put her on a broom, so long ago she can barely remember it. She must have loved it then, she knows, because she’s loved it every time since. There’s nothing like the feel of the wind screaming in your ears when you’re up in the air, you and your broom slicing the sky like a dart, the chill slapping color into your cheeks. Nothing like it.

“Derek,” Cora growls from halfway across the Quidditch pitch, her bat paused mid-air like she’d been about to go for a swing. “What the holy hell is your weirdo Gryffindor boyfriend doing?”

"'4 and 14 adopt a newborn baby together. What do they name it, how do they raise it, etc, etc. Do they eventually get it siblings? Do they ditch it in a dumpster on prom night because its not as fun as they thought?' THIS IS QUITE LITERALLY THE WEIRDEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. And yet, I am oddly charmed by it."

"His life's a fucking space opera. And not even the erotic type that airs on New HBO. No, it's the animated comic type where the captain goes splat against the wall every episode and the pointy-eared bastard quirks his pointy eyebrow and steps on the captain's flattened remains."