Alec Hardison, if pressed, would probably suggest that he subscribes to a post-modern definition of identity.

"'I won this all expenses paid vacation to scenic nowhere because you need a hacker," says Alec, talking before he realizes what he's saying, but when he listens to himself, it's pretty obvious. The corner of Fury's mouth curls up again, and Alec admires abstractly the way he manages to make it creepy as fuck while fighting the urge to try to sidle out of its range."

The story of a stablehand and his cruel stepfamily.

The team descends on the Miller household. (No turkeys were harmed in the making of this story. Much to Ronon and Rodney's disappointment.)

Vampires Will Never Hurt You: Gerard clenches his fists tighter. "It's a disease," he says defensively. You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart...: Frank has high school figured out. His mom has given up arguing about the amount of time he spends in Gerard's basement, and he doesn't actually care if people think it's weird that he and Gerard hold hands in the hallways and go to the bathroom together. The only thing Frank cares about is figuring out why Gerard's suddenly avoiding him -- because what's the point of losing your virginity on Prom Night if you can't tell your best friend about it in the morning?

This is an illustration for a potential story with the cast of Gundam Wing in the world of Avatar (I'd be using the world of AtlA, but not the characters, so no Wufei meets Zuko.)

During a rare shoreleave on Earth over the holidays, Kirk convinces Spock to take a road trip with him. He didn't count on a record snowfall. Now they're stranded in a motel room for Christmas, and stir-craziness is beginning to set in...

Astrid didn't want to be Walter's lab assistant. Unfortunately, neither did anyone else.

So, my resolution to blog more! How about blogging hilarious TV? I have rarely seen TV more hilarious than Teen Wolf.

It's already been one year, and he's still got one more year to wait.

So then, because he’s Hardison, he created a fandom.

The first time was rather a surprise, the second time just plain predictable. The third was supposed to go much differently, thank you very much, and the fourth devolved into cliché. The fifth, moreover… well. Neither of them really wishes to talk about that one, if you don't mind. & Now that the war is over, Severus is just trying to get on with things. He's not the only one.

WW2. New York. An always-been-girls AU.

Leverage, Eliot + team, Eliot confesses to the team that he's an undercover federal agent

Steve has an apology to make.

Prompt: Based on this: http://cap-ironman.tumblr.com/post/11963945223/ironfries-because-ill-always-love-you Steve Rogers finds (in the mansion or in the tower) some old robot that Tony built when he was a child. The robot says things like: "I love you" and gives little hugs. And then angsty (or not) fluff ending. It can be slash or gen.

It was Captain America. Captain. Freaking. America.

Saving And Being Saved: "Five boys and Battle School. Nobody is satisfied, but one can imagine Graff doesn't care." Fangs Up: "Someone finally takes notice of the fact that Gabe Saporta says he spoke to a snake." One Man Band: "It takes Spencer a while to figure it out, but he doesn't let it change how he behaves when he does." Patrick Stump's Strip Joint, or The One Where They're All Strippers Apart From Patrick Who Has Taken Up Handicrafts (Not Like That): "The one where they're all (pretty terrible) strippers, Patrick owns the strip joint, and his therapist has suggested he take up a hobby."

Darcy, Bruce, gen (first day at Stark Tower)

Sheriff Stilinski and his wife couldn't have children. In her desperation, Mrs. Stilinski found a young Selkie boy and hid his sealskin. Only she knew where it was hidden; when she died, so did that knowledge. Stiles grew to love his human family as his own, even grieving the death of his captor/mom, but the sea still calls to him in Beacon Hills.

He's not a bird. He's a human. He just likes to be alone.

Brendon's twitter typo outs his marriage to the world, and he doesn't know what to do next.

So there's this project Tony has been working on since he was ten years old which is only marginally less awesome than the specs for the TARDIS he totally could have built if Fury would've just let him had the Tesseract for a couple hours longer.

Six times Steve and Thor hang out.

Darcy's never been too excited about being born on the Fourth of July.

Steve is the best cuddler. There is no doubt. They don't even take a vote; there is no point. Steve wins.

Steve goes on a road trip to clear his head, but the other Avengers won't leave him alone.

The one in which all the Avengers are women.

Few So Generous: After Odin falls into the Odinsleep, Frigga takes up her husband’s spear and the rule of Asgard. For Children: It's crept up on Natasha without her realizing it. Her Boss's Keeper: Diana has been working for the White Collar division for all of a week before she figures out that her new boss is, in fact, a thin shell of grouch over a marshmallow center. Five People Who Caught Darcy Doodling: Darcy can't always taser people to work out her frustration. Bros!: In which Darcy remembers something that Tony (mostly) doesn't, Jane is rendered awkward, and there is some snarking about polka-dot bras.

There are no bad eggs in the Gryffindor House, this is how it works. The good people go to the lion, the raven takes the cleverest of the bunch, the snake takes those who are rotten and the badger takes the rest. Everyone knows this, this is how it works. There are no bad Gryffindors, like there are no stupid Ravenclaws, cruel Hufflepuffs or good Slytherins. everyone knows this, this is how it works. No one goes against the status quo. This is how is goes.

Somehow it's really depressing that Coulson is just too pragmatic for ice cream.

When he realised he had two genders, he wanted to scream in frustration.

Title: And Only One Blanket Summary: The building they come to falls somewhere on the shed-shack-cabin-cottage continuum; the threat of frostbite makes Rose disinclined to be picky. Title: Going Both Ways Summary: Karkat can match him at either end of his scale, balancing both highs and lows with this kind of frothing, incoherent fury that's...kind of attractive, in the right light. All that energy. All that drive. Title: King of Spades Summary: ==> Dirk: fuck the Man.

Choices: "Sylar's on a quest for powers, but Gerard just wants to help." You Know These Words (Like an Old Country Song): "Movieverse. The one where Clint Barton used to be a Hunter. A crossover of sorts with Supernatural." Spin and Rinse: "Set in the early van days, Brian forces the boys to stop at a laundromat."

In the end, stories are about the people in them --personalities and relationships resonate across cultures and worlds. Or: Thor reads Lord of the Rings, and tries to use it to process his past and present, and as a framework to hope for the future.

“So,” says Sheriff Stilinski, raising one eyebrow. “You decided not to play video games at Scott’s, after all?” “Uh,” Stiles says. His eyes are wide and caught-out, and he’s got his arms wrapped around two giant tubs of popcorn. Beside him, Derek Hale—the same Derek Hale that the Sheriff last saw in his interrogation room—is handing a $20 bill to the cashier and clearly trying to appear as casual as possible. He fumbles the change three times before he gets it into his pocket, though, so it’s a lost cause.

Come Now, We're Children (Let's Play A Game): He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one. Totally Not A Meet-Cute: "Gerard has had a crush on Train Guy for a while, but just going up and talking to him would be weird. He needs a reason, right?" In the Belly Of: "Because space whales…fish…are a thing. In multiple universes. (Look, Todd asked and I said Okay, and this is what happened. I don’t know either.)" Turn Your Head: "Written for the genderplay square at kink_bingo's April 2012 "gift baskets" challenge." Apple Bottom Jeans (And Other Love Songs): "Or, how Steve Rogers--kind of--learns to dance."

The first time Stiles dresses Caleb up in a ridiculous outfit Derek thinks it’s a joke. He comes home from work one day and is greeted by the sight of their newborn pup in a zebra onesie complete with ears and a tail.

"If the explanation for making me late for work is that you guys were using me as a human stick in an epic game of werewolf fetch," he says, "I am going to be pissed." --- Four times the pack used Stiles as a stick, and once he got them to fetch Derek.

I had a whole sass machine introduction to this post, except I wrote it in July, back when I started this primer and jokes about Evan Lysacek and the World Cup were still fresh to death. Then I sort of stopped working on it, until certain people issued A CHALLENGE to me to finish it, and I think we all know that I don't back down from a challenge. So hide your eyes, it's a Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews primer.

Young Phil Coulson pretends he can't hear his parents fighting. Instead, he occupies himself with the adventures of Captain America.

Gyzym's not!fics are addictive, I swear. So much so, in fact, that I've done... sixteen more XD Since there are so many of them, I've put streaming in for all of them on my LJ, and all sixteen can be downloaded from the link below. All are rated G except the one marked otherwise

A Small Thing: Halloween: Princess Thor's skirt is the prettiest in all the Realms. Only Fools Rush In: In which Captain America ends up married to Bucky Barnes, with Thor, prince of Asgard and god of thunder, as their witness.

Stop the Presses: "Kavanagh gets his revenge. Written for the Documentary Challenge in SGA Flashfic. Posted January 2006." Sandcastles: "Home is what you make it." Golden Rule Days (Our Modern Family Belongs To Us): "How Kat Barton comes to realizes that her very large “family” maybe isn’t normal—but that’s what makes it awesome. Movieverse. Inspired by workerbee73’s Career Day, but it got out of hand. >_>" Momentum: "It doesn't matter who you are; eventually, everyone's past catches up to them."

Natural Selection: "BEACON, also known as the Bureau of Enforcement, Armed Combat and Offensive Neutralization (it sure is offensive, Stiles thinks) has established the Avengers Initiative in order to, uh, fight crime. And rampaging alien hordes. And stuff....And somehow, in the middle of all this chaos, the Hulk and Iron Man find love." Kids From Yesterday (OR, Mohawks for Everyone): "Okay, this bandom family stuff is unreal. Who needs to make this shit up?"

"It was too nice a day to be cooped up in the car for long, and Neal knew from experience that if he loitered on the sidewalk, there was a good chance a timely piece of evidence—or a fleeing suspect—would come his way."

It all began when Ms. Frizzle got the letter from her niece.

Stiles had plenty of experience with putting himself out there and getting shot down.

#no seriously #where’s the au #where some witches or warlocks or something turn stiles into a cat #and he lurks in wait in the abandoned train station #waiting for derek to walk by so stiles can blitz-attack his ankles

Seven ways Tony's personal jet gets demoted to 'transatlantic taxicab'. (Nobody believes him when he claims to mind.)