Anyway, [info]vickita said something a couple of weeks back that made me think, "Ah yes, Eliot, the little black dress of Leverage fandom." and sure enough, there's fic out there pairing Eliot with pretty much everyone. So, in a way, this is her fault...

An hour and three quarters later, still short the specific book he needed but richer by half a dozen other volumes he'd thought gone forever, he opened the last of the boxes in Sam's pile.

Janet folded her arms around her clipboard and smiled at the two men who stood staring at her, holding specimen cups and wearing nearly identical expressions of disbelief. "Washington wants to know if multiple trips through the Stargate has had any effect on reproductive ability. They want sperm count and sperm motility of all personnel who go off world, checked."

It’s mating season and Derek tracks Stiles down and catches him doing something naughty.

Title: And Only One Blanket Summary: The building they come to falls somewhere on the shed-shack-cabin-cottage continuum; the threat of frostbite makes Rose disinclined to be picky. Title: Going Both Ways Summary: Karkat can match him at either end of his scale, balancing both highs and lows with this kind of frothing, incoherent fury that's...kind of attractive, in the right light. All that energy. All that drive. Title: King of Spades Summary: ==> Dirk: fuck the Man.

Overhead, light flows across the ceiling, expanding and contracting like a slow pulse matching his own. His eyes are heavy and growing heavier with as indeterminate time passes. The pile of clothes under him shifts, his back arches further to accommodate it, he's drifting, comfortable and pulsing like these little specks of light on the ceiling. Slow and dimmed at first, Gamzee becomes aware of of his hand lying on his stomach.

The body of the email just says, “don’t fuck seguin” because Jonny doesn’t know what capital letters are and he’s a controlling asshole even when he’s miles away, and attached to it is a spreadsheet that Patrick reluctantly opens. It’s color-coded with tabs and he’s not sure whether he wants to punch Jonny in the mouth or laugh in his face. Calling him in the middle of the airport is a really bad fucking idea and Patrick knows something about those, so he settles for sending Jonny a message. YOU SENT ME A JERK-OFF SCHEDULE FOR SWITZERLAND?!

Parker walks in on Eliot pleasuring himself but doesn't realize. She decides to stay and chat. Eliot isn't happy