“I want to make Naruto my heir,” Kakashi said bluntly.

Sakura spends a year in Narnia. Susan watches, and does her best to help.

The wilds of Sound Country are the next best thing to the middle of nowhere. Travelers are few and far between. Unexpected meetings are thus narratively inevitable.

Ten facts about three Hogwarts students.

It was seven forty four PM, not that Iruka was watching the clock at all. He'd be an idiot to watch the time and expect Hatake Kakashi to show up for a date at eight o'clock.

"The art of love will be my challenge. We are going to measure our prowess as men. I challenge you to a battle to determine which of us is the better lover!"

Lee's face was full of serious enthusiasm until he realized it was Kakashi who had answered his knock, and then the young Genin's expression changed and he gave Kakashi The Look. The Look clearly stated 'I don't understand this and I'm not sure I like it, since I'm wondering if you didn't seduce Gai-sensei with some impure wile, but as you are now Gai-sensei's Dearest One, I will jump in front of a kunai for you'.

"...any of your parent’s friends have any kids of less than, say, six years of age?" "No, not that I know of." "Huh-huh.” A suspicion suddenly crystallized in Tsunade’s mind. Between her fingers, her punch glass started to crack.

Spring fever can be a distracting ailment, even for Shinobi.

Kakashi held up a hand. “We’ll pretend this never happened.”

The first time rain and Temari’s visits coincided, she stood in Shikamaru’s garden for three hours before coming in, soaked, shivering, and grinning from ear to ear. Her clothes were plastered to her body, every curve revealed, ponytails weighed down and dark with water, dripping all over the floor of the entrance with complete disregard for the mess.

Gaara calls the shots; Lee gets the attention; but Sakura inevitably gets what she wants.

Gaara's breath breezed soft against Lee's thigh. "Hold still." Lee did her best to stop moving, but it was difficult.

Temari couldn't bake worth shit. It was commonly known among the village that Temari wasn't exactly a girlie-girl, but before their marriage Shikamaru'd had no concept of just how much the traditional wife he would be.

Shikamaru was never napping in this particular area of the forest ever again. In fact, he might never set foot outside his apartment if given a choice and the ability to sneak quietly away without being spotted by the two high-level jounin below him. They looked to be distracted, but there was no way in hell Shikamaru was risking being caught catching them at what they were doing.

The dust settled slowly. Dirt coated the bodies strewn about like discarded clay dolls, clung to Naruto's skin like another layer of clothing. His blood pounded in his ears like frantic drums, and the sickly sweet metallic scent of blood hung thick in the air over the muted undertones of upturned earth. His fingers hurt from where they were clenched tight around the scrap of green fabric. He took in one choked breath, then another. Only forty seconds had passed.

"One has to wonder if it's all the perverts you're attracted to, or just the crazy ones.”