"The most he'd ever cared about anything remotely related was his uniform, which, beyond the stylistic, was pretty necessary. But now his suit comes from a lab far more advanced than the basement of a Brooklyn antique shop, and the only decision he really gets to make is if his pants are too tight. (They were, but he doesn't really think they changed them. He doesn't know why, but he thinks that might have been on purpose.) That being said, he doesn't know what he's done to deserve the double take Tony gives him as he walks in the room."

For the prompt, "Blowjobs are super helpful for calming people down."

Six events in Derek and Stiles' life where Stiles does something to make Derek growl at him and they choke those around them with all of the UST. Then finally Derek explains to Stiles why he's been acting like this.

Stiles and Lydia never should have become friends, for Derek’s sake.

Terrorists develop a riot-inducing spray that has unexpected effects on America's only Super Soldier.

Megamind still has some important life lessons to learn. Roxanne is once again here to help.

"We should probably go soon, anyway," she says. "There's an unconscious man in the ladies' bathroom with 'wanker' written on his forehead – people are going to start asking questions."

When Johnny comes back from the Negative Zone, he needs all the support he can get. He wants it from his lover and his ex-wife. Peter and Lyja want what's best for him.

Tony has a point system for the times he can get Steve to be less than perfect.

He's been called a lot of names, but the one that stuck was Hawk.

Bruce kept a little tally, in his head, of people he thought should meet the Hulk. Those who had made Tony afraid were numbered among them. No archive warnings, but heed tags, yes?

AU crossover. Tony Stark has known Charles Xavier since Tony was eight and Xavier was his Uncle Charles. Now that Tony’s all grown up, Charles vets his dates. Well, most of them. Except for the ones where Charles brings someone who should really be in jail, not a fancy restaurant.

Darcy watches. It's kinda what she's being paid for. More or less. That and the coffee.

Debriefing is an important way for an organization's members to learn new skills as individuals, as a team, and as managers. Tony almost dropped his heavily-modded iPad, but managed to catch it against the front of his legs. "What's this? A pants-off dance-off?"

[SPOILERS] The shadows of night managed to hide a lot of the destruction, but the scars were still there. Steve knew those scars would be there for a long time to come. They weren’t the only scars that would take time to heal. Everyone grieves differently. What is surprisingly similar, however, are the curses when the Avengers find out the one they’re grieving for isn’t actually dead.

"If I were Christian fucking Bale, or Jesus Christ help me, Clooney in the nipple suit, gearing up to play Bruce fictional fucking Wayne, he'd send me a fucking fictional helicopter."

(Just Pre Heroic Age) - The Avengers aren't quite back together yet, things are still a little rocky between Tony Stark and Commander Rogers, and Tony's slaving away at Stark Resiliant, trying to make a fortune again to fund everyone's superhero habit, and be on his best behavior for Steve, when Maria Hill calls him with a problem... an unidentified Iron Man suit has appeared in New York City. But it's not talking.

From a prompt on Avengerkink. Thanks to a magical spell by invading aliens from another realm, Tony Stark becomes a woman...for three months. Obviously there's no way he's not going to take his new body for a test drive. And who better to help him with it that our very own Captain America, Steve Rogers, the straighter-than-a-ruler guy he's been falling in love with totally against his will and who's finally noticing him now...

The most popular rumor in SHIELD was that Agent Phil Coulson was created in a lab. The rumor was unproven. It was also true.

Darcy watched the Avengers defend New York from over two thousand miles away. She could look out her window if she wanted to watch the aftermath. She watches the news instead, and realizes one very important thing: the Avengers have a bit of a PR problem.

After what Clint did while under Loki’s control – and he remembers every detail, every decision, every twitch of muscle – Clint burns with self-loathing. He never counted on Natasha’s unwavering, unconditional support, nor did he imagine that he’d ever have someone who cared enough to fight Clint himself for his forgiveness.

"The first watch keeps the correct time. Always. Terezi tried starting out of sync the third time they played this game, but without that one thread of the right beat to cling to, the grating wrongness of the other watches knocked Dave out of the mood long before he could hit trance state." Terezi/Dave, idiosycratic forms of bondage.

He's not cute anymore, is the thing. He's not small and scrawny and bug-eyed with shock, standing there like a tool as a water-holding device plummets down to become his new hat. He's… He's… Prowly.

Dave has a thing for large breasts. Jade discovers she does too.

After three years out of contact, John and Karkat can finally talk again. The conversation doesn't go quite the way they were expecting. Now the three weeks it will take the golden ship to match velocities with the asteroid seem like three million. Why are the laws of physics so unkind to desperate teenaged boys? [an antidote to sadstuck! if this is not the fluffiest, most sentimental xenoporn ever written, i will eat my writekind specibus.]

In which a mutant too famous to cull is dropped like a grenade into the midst of the peace process, a foolish monarch proves himself secretly shrewd, the power of friendship functions as a force multiplier, and it is discovered that in the Great Game of espionage, the dealer does not always win.

John is one of eight mech pilots heroically protecting Earth from an alien invasion. Pretty easy on the moral choices. See evil monster from space, kill evil monster from space. Only then he actually meets one of them face to face.

"They just watch," John says, kicking the mop bucket into the broom closet after a hard day's asteroid-cleaning. "I guess chores are like a spectator sport for trolls? It's pretty weird! But... that's trolls for you!"

Dave realizes he has a most unfortunate crush on his best friend. This is obviously a great foundation for a black relationship with Karkat. Competitive flirting is a thing that exists, the kids try out various bits of troll culture, Dave makes consistently excellent decisions and generally has his priorities in order (no he doesn't), and there's a whole lot of talking.

There are some things you have to do as a friendleader, and some you have to do as a friend. Sometimes, it's the same thing.

The Game is over. You've won. But it was a long, hard, painful victory, and the rewards have a catch, and you're all a little broken. But you'll stick together anyway because that's just what you do. You help each other cope and somehow in the end you'll make it through. ((Humanstuck AU: Mainly Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas. Dave second-person POV. Post-Sburb.))

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you’ve just turned 21. It was pretty much the Best Birthday Ever, except for that awkward 10 minutes in the middle, but you got through that and everyone passed out in a properly drunken stupor. Inspired by The Finer Details of Gay Cluckbeast by clumsyoctopus. You wake up to someone kissing you.

Dave discovers his asexuality. John discovers internet porn. Rose is awesome. Jade is adorable. Everyone learns a little bit more about each other and themselves. Oh, and eventually, Dave and John get together. Yes.

TT: One is not easily shaken from the broodfester tongues, John. TT: They are stubborn throes.

Arson Clinic engages in a nerdy rap battle with Lil Cal while stagehand Karkat smokes in an alley behind the venue and hates life. Meanwhile, homeless punk John Egbert goes on a quest for a little rubber alien.... AND THEN THEY ALL ROCK.

"and you never guessed/the one you loved best/to draw always drew/pictures of you/undressed." A fairly plotless accumulation of pornographic pennings, courtesy of one Dave Strider.

[sequel to 'Marvelous Things', from dave's POV.] "Camping?" you echo skeptically. Spending a week without internet access isn't something you're eager to volunteer for. And you're not exactly the outdoor type. Sunshine is not your friend. Why he would think you'd want to spend your spring break in the middle of nowhere, out in the open, sleeping in a tent... ... in a tent with John Egbert, in the middle of nowhere, just the two of you... sharing a sleeping bag for warmth... no one to hear his doofy giggling... or any other noises he might happen to make... A slow smile spreads over your face. "Whatever you want, baby."

Karkat gets kidnapped. When Gamzee hears, he just goes with the flow. Competence? From Gamzee Makara? It's more likely than you think.

Because Loki is a contrary asshole, he gifts Clint Barton with wings, of all things, during battle. The wings in and of themselves are one thing, but the way they react to Phil is another.

Sollux Captor is 22 years old, a successful freelance web designer, and an avid player of the wildly successful MMORPG, Grubquest. Karkat Vantas is 19 years old, a cranky CS-major freshman, and an avid player of the wildly successful MMORPG, Grubquest. Sollux and Karkat are the worst best friends and one of the top player-pairs in the game. In a month, they're meeting for the first time and it's exciting... and terrifying.

Terezi Pyrope is a Neophyte Legislacerator looking to lease an administrative assistant. She was not expecting to find Dave Strider, a secretarial asset with a sense of integrity as strong as her own. Dave Strider is a secretarial asset with "personality problems" that would have gotten him culled if not for his otherwise exemplary administrative abilities. He finds himself drawn into the quadrants of the would-be social reformer who leased him. He finds he is surprisingly Okay with this. Both their lives become interesting (in the curse sense) when the Heiress retains Pyrope and her team.

Your wriggling day is in three days, and while you normally celebrate this event with the apathy it deserves, this particular sweep is different. That’s because it will be your eighth sweep, and it happens to coincide with the arrival of the imperial drones. This is a milestone that every troll looks forward to with a heady combination of excitement and terror. For most trolls, when they reach their eighth sweep, they become adults. Not you. When you reach your eighth sweep, you will die.

He's always hidden it. Them.

THEN: Dave shacked up with a Crossroads Demon, sold his soul, brought Rose along for the ride, and they killed a hipster water demon. NOW: Roadtrip. The worst roadtrip.

Stiles learns that even with werewolves, giant lizards and psychopathic hunters on the loose, life can still find other ways to screw with you. Case in point: everyone keeps assuming he and Derek are a couple. What the hell?

Sollux Captor, recently drafted into the Service of Her Imperious Condescension, discovers a secret community of Helmsmen hidden inside the Imperial communications network. Meanwhile on Alternia, Karkat Vantas is up to his goddamn nook in revolution.

"Once there were two hockey players. One had great hair. One had a lot of brothers. This is their story." Or, Kris Letang gets a hug and Marc Staal meets a nice boy. Inspired by Morning to Wake You

For this prompt on the LJ Kinkmeme: Stiles leaves leaves a notebook of his at Derek's or in his car or whatevs, and Derek goes to take it to him and notices that it's filled with little hearts with Stiles+Derek, and Stiles Hale, and Derek Stilinski, and tons of doodles of little wolves.

He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one.

Stiles accidentally ends up magically bound to Derek. It’s super.