Short stories from the Toasterverse, because the author gets panicky writing long form stories built around plot and has to finish something in order to function. Phil has problems with these people. So does the Author.

Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

Tony Stark has once again engineered something that might well lead to the downfall of Western Civilization. No one's really surprised. This time, however, it might just be the lesser of two evils. Clint and Phil hate playing pickup, but damn, Clint loves the Roombas, and damn, Phil loves Clint, though he's not really sure why sometimes. It's time to play Hide-And-Seek with hostile robotic AIs in the SHIELD home office.

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

Tony Stark has once again engineered something that might well lead to the downfall of Western Civilization. No one's really surprised. This time, however, it might just be the lesser of two evils.

Sometimes Tony Stark makes poor choices. Sometimes Tony pushes his teasing of Steve Rogers just a little too far. Sometimes Steve decides he's had enough. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he does not bake.

Around about the time Phillipa Jane told her middle-school teacher that Phil wasn’t a nickname, it was her name and not a difficult one to remember, she picked up a reputation. That hasn’t really gone away. [Always-female!Coulson/Clint]

Everyone in their life has had a little case of hero worship. A tiny crush on a celebrity. A teenage infatuation. Dummy Stark-Rogers is not any different. And the Mars Rover Curiosity is a stunning piece of tech.

“It's a contingency plan in case of accidental teenagering,” says Stark.

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.