Actually, "pervy dragonfic" is really working for me, here.

This is the story of a boy; this is the story of three boys. Two brothers, two best friends, two lovers.

The summoner's journey is a long, hard path to walk. Having guardians you trust makes all the difference in the world.

There's no "I" in "Avenger."

Tony Stark has once again engineered something that might well lead to the downfall of Western Civilization. No one's really surprised. This time, however, it might just be the lesser of two evils.

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

Tony, Bruce and JARVIS, and the difference between people, weapons and slaves.

Bruce, JARVIS and Tony, and what power means. Sequel to Vast And Shaking Things. Some movie spoilers.

Tony, Bruce and JARVIS. Discussing, among other things, AI, ethics, power, trust, fear, and the difference between people, weapons and slaves

Tony Stark has once again engineered something that might well lead to the downfall of Western Civilization. No one's really surprised. This time, however, it might just be the lesser of two evils. Clint and Phil hate playing pickup, but damn, Clint loves the Roombas, and damn, Phil loves Clint, though he's not really sure why sometimes. It's time to play Hide-And-Seek with hostile robotic AIs in the SHIELD home office.

Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

Short stories from the Toasterverse, because the author gets panicky writing long form stories built around plot and has to finish something in order to function. Phil has problems with these people. So does the Author.

When Tony Stark was seventeen years old, he built his first AI. On that day, he ceased to be his father's creation, and became a creating force in his own right. That one act likely saved his life, and not always in the most obvious ways.

Phil Coulson, kindergarten teacher at S. L. Shields Elementary School, a wealthy, upper-middle class suburb has just gotten his new class of students. Like every class he has, they have their ups and downs, and life is never dull. Phil does his best to give all his kids a good foundation, and help out those who need a little extra from him. And if things sometimes get a little crazy, well, he's used to that.

Around about the time Phillipa Jane told her middle-school teacher that Phil wasn’t a nickname, it was her name and not a difficult one to remember, she picked up a reputation. That hasn’t really gone away. [Always-female!Coulson/Clint]

Sometimes Tony Stark makes poor choices. Sometimes Tony pushes his teasing of Steve Rogers just a little too far. Sometimes Steve decides he's had enough. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he does not bake.

Bonding over sleepless nights, incoherency, and pizza. Because sometimes, you need a friend. "Sure you won't come up for a drink? You know, as long as you're in the neighborhood." "I bet you say that to all the defrosted soldiers on your doorstep at three in the morning."

From Still Officially Lost by pollyrepeat: “Barton has clearly imprinted on you,” Fury starts, and keeps talking right over Phil’s knee-jerk, horrified, “He has not,” to seal Phil’s doom by saying, “so I’ve decided that you’re going to take primary responsibility for him from now on.” “Oh, god,” Phil says, faintly, before he can stop himself. // Otherwise known as, SHIELD: The Early Years. (PODFIC!)

There are certain expectations in troll society about taking in a freeloader with no place to go, as Dad Egbert finds out when he offers to host two of his son's stranded friends post-game.

Choose lasagna as good first meal for boy humans (1) and boy trolls (1) to show you can overcome this cooking thing. Feel impugned when Rose suggests you would both eat popcorn between two slices of bread and call it a day. Advise her you only did that the once.

For the prompt: i'd like either john/karkat or rose/kanaya, where the troll language is very different from english, and karkat/kanaya keeps lapsing into their native language during cute or ~*intimate*~ moments.

“It's a contingency plan in case of accidental teenagering,” says Stark.

Everyone in their life has had a little case of hero worship. A tiny crush on a celebrity. A teenage infatuation. Dummy Stark-Rogers is not any different. And the Mars Rover Curiosity is a stunning piece of tech.

“Write what you know” was good enough advice for Jo March, so it’s good enough for Patrick Kane.

“Write what you know” was good enough advice for Jo March, so it’s good enough for Patrick Kane.

“I kind of proved a lot of people wrong and proved to myself I can play this game in this body.” - Pat Kane Genderqueer AU.

“He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.”

"Yes, Kaner," Sharpy's saying as Jonny sits down next to them with a beer. "It would indeed be gay to measure your teammates' dicks to find out whose is biggest."

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.

Geno can't. Sidney won't.

You never told a single motherfucker walking this planet what went down here. Wasn't the business of nobody but you, him and God. She wasn't your mother or your girlfriend or even your motherfucking friend. Maybe if you told her, though, maybe she'd leave. You know you'd walk away from it if you could.

I feel pretty strongly that the second half of Naruto diverted all the momentum of the first half, where what I wanted to see was what would happen if it speeded up instead. This arc is an AU of canon, in which Kakashi dealt with Sasuke differently after the first fight with Itachi and Sasuke never left Konoha. Changes spiral off from that point. This is also the arc where I change all the things that truly made me tear my hair in canon, such as the carbon copy generations, the sidelining of the women, the apotheosis of Naruto as a solitary hero, and Itachi turning out to not be a villain. So none of that happens. There is, however, Sakura/Sasuke/Naruto goodness. Also featuring a dash of Kakashi/Iruka and a side arc about Hinata and the Hyuuga clan that somehow shoehorned its way in while I was innocently contemplating ninja sociology.

Patrick Kane has soft hands.

The thing is, Sid's filthy. Or he's pretty sure he would be, if somebody would just give him a chance to be filthy.

You're supposed to know if you're a top or a sub by the time you're twelve. Fourteen at the outside. It's biological, the researchers say. It's not a choice. But sometimes Jon thinks that for him, it really was.

The first time I met Jonathan Toews, he let a door close in my face. Not one of those metaphorical doors that get shut ‘cause I’m a girl in the NHL, but a literal door.

In one's home, clothes are optional. Housemates, however, may disagree.

Welcome to the Lee Jordan show on the Wizarding Wireless Network, the best show for news, interviews, sports coverage, and entertainment on air! Tune in now!

After one scandal too many, Patrick Kane gets traded. Eventually it stops being the worst thing to ever happen to him.

Kaner the English Lit major AU.

After the defeat of Aizen, Ichigo has lost his superpowers but not his skills so he's been hiring himself out to any sports team looking for a strong player. When Nagisa Hazuki approaches Ichigo to join the Iwatobi High School Swimming Club, something piques Ichigo's interest....

It was an accident.

You're supposed to know if you're a top or a sub by the time you're twelve. Fourteen at the outside. It's biological, the researchers say. It's not a choice. But sometimes Jon thinks that for him, it really was.

The one where a bunch of Blackhawks inexplicably go to boarding school, Tazer is the world's meanest DM, and Pat doesn't know why anyone would think cutting the head off a hydra was good idea.

“Make me a sandwich,” Parker says, so he does. “Cut the damn wire,” says Hardison, so he does. “Jump,” says Parker, says Hardison, and he never needs to ask, “How high?”

tumblr fic by idyll

"Do you want me to go down on you?" Abed asks, one afternoon, when they're watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

Course provides advanced instruction in avoidance of the phenomenon commonly known as "jumping the shark." Prerequisites for this course include Introduction to Friendship, Contemporary Best Friendship, The Politics of Emotional Baggage and Cohabitation 207. Students may wish to simultaneously enroll in our sister course, Introduction to Non-Traditional Romance, but said enrollment is optional.

Kuranosuke keeps a small lifetime in a handful of bottles on his dresser.