Steve dares to stick his head into the workshop on a Tuesday which had so far been filled only with paperwork, and as soon as he actually comprehends what he's seeing, he kind of just wants to forget the filing and the G-33 forms and just stay down there forever.

After three years out of contact, John and Karkat can finally talk again. The conversation doesn't go quite the way they were expecting. Now the three weeks it will take the golden ship to match velocities with the asteroid seem like three million. Why are the laws of physics so unkind to desperate teenaged boys? [an antidote to sadstuck! if this is not the fluffiest, most sentimental xenoporn ever written, i will eat my writekind specibus.]

Little gray aliens aren't people, no matter how well they fake it. They can be domesticated, though. Might as well keep them around, right?

"Everything about Dave is wonderful, especially when it's not." Three years after the game ended, the kids and their guardians live together as a big, goofy family, and John is so happy he could explode. The thing that makes him happiest is Dave. They are the best snugglebros and everything is perfect. Except that people are giving John looks like he's missing something important here, and he's not sure he wants to figure it out...

[sequel to 'Marvelous Things', from dave's POV.] "Camping?" you echo skeptically. Spending a week without internet access isn't something you're eager to volunteer for. And you're not exactly the outdoor type. Sunshine is not your friend. Why he would think you'd want to spend your spring break in the middle of nowhere, out in the open, sleeping in a tent... ... in a tent with John Egbert, in the middle of nowhere, just the two of you... sharing a sleeping bag for warmth... no one to hear his doofy giggling... or any other noises he might happen to make... A slow smile spreads over your face. "Whatever you want, baby."

Having an alien boyfriend is a little like an adventure and a little like a science experiment. Fortunately for you (and for your alien boyfriend), those are both things you really like.

Alternate Title: "Dick Failwolf, Private Eye." (Or, Derek's hit with a Film Noir curse, which forces him to narrate his own life in luridly-detailed prose.)

"Looks like you boys had a very affectionate celebration this year, eh?" Wiedeman says as the video ends. Jonathan lifts his head from its protective refuge, spreads his arms out wide. This, at least, he can deal with. "What can I say? I love my team."

Jeff has a weakness for adorable and Abed knows it.

Batman is very happy with the way that Robin has picked up his training, his methods and his habits. Generally. But his protege showing up at the Batcave with two small children, Tim and Jason, clinging to him proves he's adopted one trait Batman would have rather he hadn't. It seems the batfamily has an incurable penchant for picking up strays, and Tim and Jason are only the beginning.

A collection of my shorter fills for snk-kink on dreamwidth. Mostly gen humor. Mostly.

For the sake of his pride, Jiraiya's going to imagine that his double went out in the bed of some voracious and lusty twins—no, make that triplets, with everyone wildly satisfied and a smile on his face. The whole alternate universe thing is easier to swallow that way.

They’re nursing the first round of beers when Clint says, “Whoa,” in an awed tone. When Steve turns to face him, Clint’s got almost comically large eyes which seem to be darting between Steve, Natasha, and something over Steve’s shoulder. “Is that Lewis with Henry from Accounting?” Sure enough, when Steve darts a look, trying for casual enough that if Darcy catches him looking it won’t appear like he’s creepily staring at her, she is, indeed, sitting next to Henry, her eyes focused on his face as he tells her a story that involves a lot of hand gestures. Darcy laughs suddenly and brings her bottle of beer to lips. Steve tries not to stare at her mouth and fails miserably. He and Darcy haven’t crossed paths many times over the last few months that she’s been working at the tower on various projects with Stark or SHIELD, but she reminds him a bit of the girls that used to run the show in his old neighbourhood, used to wear bright red lipstick and let the wind toss their skirts up high enough that the married, church-going women would toss them a dirty, judgemental look before corralling their children or husbands into their homes. -- Darcy has a type, and it's more Steve 1942 than Steve 2014.

Genma is a very good assassin. He takes a job, takes a life, comes home, repeats. Then one day a stray genin shows up on his doorstep. And then another. Lonely assassin? Not so much. Try resident shinobi den mother. [In which Genma is a (very manly) mother hen, his apartment attracts strays, and all of his (bastard) friends are quite amused.]

Written during my lunch break for my Beta Sam who asked for: Brian/Dom help Jesse calm down on one of his ‘off’ days.

In which Levi seems determined to spoil Eren rotten, whether he likes it or not. (For the record, Eren hadn't expected his confession to lead to this sort of thing at all).

Florian told Karal to look for him among the Herald-Trainees, so Karal did. Well. Altra did.

“Good boy,” she murmurs against his throat. He goes impossibly still – she’s got enough time to think huh before she’s fast asleep. The next day it feels like a dream, the way that the sweet memories from childhood go hazy and glow at the unravelled edges, so she wouldn’t even notice it if—well. If she weren’t impossibly in love with him. But she is. So she notices.

She would definitely, definitely have to tell her family soon. They were being as non-obtrusive as a family of Russians could be about her mystery boyfriend. They knew her troubles in the past with men, how badly those relationships went, and she was thinking that none of them wanted to be the one to mess this one up by prodding.

Cullen can't get it up and it turns out the Inquisitor doesn't want that anyway. Funny how these things work out.

Five Times The Iron Bull carried Dorian and one time Dorian carried Bull.

The Iron Bull never asked Dorian to stay, but Dorian did.

Dorian's parents come to Skyhold to take him away based on a deal Dorian and his father made a long time ago that if Dorian was not in a relationship by a certain age, Halward could marry him to Livia Herathinos. No questions asked. Cullen only sees one way to ensure his chess partner stays in Skyhold. They only need to fake being in a relationship long enough to get Dorian's parents out of Skyhold anyway. How hard could it be to complete the Tevinter courtship rituals?

A series of fanfictions exploring Sera's possible neurodivergency, some based off my own symptoms that I see in her.

A crush, a dog, a kiss, and hope for a lifetime.

Playing designated driver is not Dorian's forte. Luckily, he's got some sober company in the form of the second most attractive friend in the group--after himself, of course. Dorian's not sure why Cullen comes to these parties. He doesn't drink, doesn't socialize, he even goes to work with most of these people! There has to be a reason though, right?

After Dorian's first heartbreak his mother teaches him a bit of old magic. Casting flowers and herbs into a bowl and wishing for someone doesn't make them real. Dorian refuses to believe the wish he made when he was younger came true, even if the evidence is staring him right in the face.

Dagna makes Harding a present. Dagna has no concept of reasonable scope.

Written for the Free! Kink Meme: "maybe rei starts helping rin study for a certain subject that he's bad at, rin helps rei with clothes-shopping, and it eventually escalates to rin teaching rei how to kiss and then they make out and possibly do other sexy things, and it probably takes them both a while to realize that they have totally been dating this whole time."

Sometimes things just don't translate well. Other times it's just much easier to say them in a language nobody else in the room knows.

In an unguarded moment, Oberyn asks if Sansa's parents ever gave one another surprise gifts. For the first time in a long time, Sansa remembers her family when they were whole and happy. In the "For Fear Tonight is All" universe.

Orochimaru gets one more chance. Just maybe, it will be enough to save him—and the entire world as well.

"Once upon a time in Fire Country, O my Best Beloved, three Ninjas went on a D-rank mission to retrieve a Cat..." A tale in the style of Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories. Very silly.

Sherlock needs John. John lights up around Sherlock. Mary loves her boys and thinks this is a lot less complicated than they are making it. Set right after TEH and before SoT. Fast turning into a bloody epic season three fix-it.

Steve's favorite shirt is at the center of a debate about masculinity, sexuality, and whether or not he did in fact steal it like a thief in the night from Tony.

On the variable meanings of home and adventure. Tulio and Miguel find a new city and an orphan finds a new family.

“I need you to show me how to put on make-up,” he goes, all at once, and she blinks at the seahorse patterned shower curtain. There’s no way she heard that right. She finishes buttoning up her shirt and steps out of the shower carefully, wet feet sliding a little on the tile. “Make-up,” she repeats, looking at him as she winds an elastic band around her hair. “Yeah,” he murmurs, embarrassment burning in his eyes. “She uh, wants me to go as Belle.”

In which Cougar goes home, goes on a road trip, and learns to cook.

Dorian Pavus is a successful, single, and frankly frustrated author of Young Adult fiction. His work largely concerns the experiences of gay and queer teens, and he always, always gives them hopeful endings, despite his own life not delivering on that part. When he's invited to host a writer's workshop at a shelter for young people, he meets its caretaker, Iron Bull. Iron Bull admires his work, and then some. Dorian isn't quite sure how, but this becomes a Thing.

Josephine smiles, and Cassandra smiles back with a reflexive happiness that sends warmth spiraling up from Josephine's belly to her heart. The thing it has taken her a long time to learn about Cassandra is that quite often her impatience and sarcasm are a thin layer, fragile as the skin of ice over a lake--and the emotions they conceal are as drowningly deep as that lake.

On the longest night of the year, Cassandra goes to the chapel to pray.

Dorian paces in front of the door fitfully. He clutches the sealed letter in his hand feeling ridiculous. What is he doing? He doesn’t even know if Cullen is interested. It’d just been a throw away line that started the conversation. Something about Leliana and Josephine snickering about marriage proposals at the war table.

Eliot tries to get to sleep with one too many body parts digging into him.

"What gives?" he says then, as he shrugs his way out of the gi and you watch the changing shadows under his collarbone. "Some chump at this party still has a turtleneck on." "Yeah, well, some asshole around here doesn't know how to shut up and let himself be spoiled," you say. "Get in the goddamn tub, Strider."

Part of being your matesprit is learning how to swim. You don't know how Karkat got this far without being able to, but before the end of the night, he's going to learn if it krills you.

"The point," Karkat says, balling up the cape and tossing it over one shoulder, "is that I'm curious as fuck about your horrific alien biology, but you never take off any clothes, or let me see anything, really." "Oh, man," Dave groans. "There's nothing to see, jesus."

Life may suck but at least Dave still owns a copy of Grease.

Some days she maybe secretly wishes a tiny bit she didn't have to climb a rope to get home, but today she landed a miscreant in human jail to reflect on his crimes and she feels grimly victorious, enough to combat the fatigue. "Hallo the den of iniquity! I'm home!" she yells when she makes it to the landing, after she has spat her briefcase's handle out of her mouth. (The serrated corner almost gets her in the foot.) -- Terezi, Karkat and Dave do the totally ordinary suburban married life thing, with great success.

Everyone talks to Shitty, including his Hausmates.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: omg Utakata and Haku making delicate icebubble art pieces in the winter and Zabuza scoffs at them but he still sits and watches them put the pieces together and even volunteers kubikiribocho sometimes because that hole at the end is a pretty good bubble ring.