... Tony tells Bruce about Afghanistan.

He's been called a lot of names, but the one that stuck was Hawk.

Bruce kept a little tally, in his head, of people he thought should meet the Hulk. Those who had made Tony afraid were numbered among them. No archive warnings, but heed tags, yes?

There are certain expectations in troll society about taking in a freeloader with no place to go, as Dad Egbert finds out when he offers to host two of his son's stranded friends post-game.

IT HAS RECENTLY COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT INTERSPECIES RELATIONS ARE RAPIDLY DEVOLVING INTO SLOPPY MAKEOUTS THAT THREATEN TO BECOME DISGUSTINGLY MORE INTIMATE. IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP YOU IDIOTS FROM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT OVER WEIRD XENOBIOLOGY AND EMBARRASSING EVERYONE IN THE WORST WAYS POSSIBLE, I HAVE COMPILED THIS GUIDE, WHICH SHOULD BE SHORT ENOUGH THAT EVEN THOSE OF YOU WITH THE ATTENTION SPANS OF SMALL INSECTS SHOULD BE ABLE TO READ IT ALL IN ONE SITTING.

Sollux Captor, recently drafted into the Service of Her Imperious Condescension, discovers a secret community of Helmsmen hidden inside the Imperial communications network. Meanwhile on Alternia, Karkat Vantas is up to his goddamn nook in revolution.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has joined memo CALLING ALL JACKASSES -- CG: THANK LITTLE JEGUS AND ALL HIS WIGGLER-EATING ELVES. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING STATUS. CA: oh great and wwhich human evven is that again TT: Oh, please. We both know perfectly how well you remember me, Mr. Ampora. TT: My status is, if you will permit the bad joke, wet and horny. CG: MY GANDERBULBS JUST IMPLODED FROM GROSS BY PROXY. WHAT THE CROTCHBLISTERING *FUCK*, LALONDE? TT: As in, I have just emerged from what is either a recuperacoon or a fairly good mock-up, and there are protrusions attached to my skull that I am inclined to believe would be candy-corn-colored. CG: ... OH. YEAH, VERY AMUSING. I AM VERY AMUSED. HERE IS A PICTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF MY MIRTH. |:B

It was an accident.

Her name isn’t really Darcy, of course: her true name is something much older and a damn lot more powerful. Norse gods weren't the only supernatural beings in New Mexico when Thor was there.

The first thing Tony says when they come down to breakfast the morning after moving into the Tower is, “So, you two are together, right?”

The thing that made it so easy to hide was that everyone knew what dragons were supposed to be like. John heard people wonder about Sherlock sometimes, sending him slanting, speculative glances, as they questioned his lineage. But John Watson, who was steady, reliable, even-tempered? He slid right under their radar, just another average human being in a world full of them.

Apparently Supernatural was real, which was presumably why Gabriel was bleeding out onto Richard’s floor. (In which the actors of Supernatural find that reality is stranger and more disturbing than they previously believed, even counting Misha, and an injured archangel discovers that his universe is the subject of a TV show.)

Cards Against Humanity is not a good game to play with the Avengers, just not for the reasons that Clint was expecting.

Thirty year old Kakashi was supposed to have been killed by Pein during the Invasion. Instead, he wakes up in the body of his twenty year old self. (It gets a lot more complicated.)

Naruto has a secret. So does Sasuke. And Sakura. Just how were the genin teams picked again?

The Wave Mission is a failure. Team Seven is captured. Sasuke is gone. Kakashi is next. Sakura has no choice but to be a hero.

The first time Jensen meets Max, he's cuffed to a chair with a dislocated jaw. Things don't improve significantly from this point onwards.

When Tyrion neglects to impregnate Sansa with the heir to Winterfell, Tywin decides to take matters into his own hands. But Sansa is no longer a little Northern dove; she is a Lannister with nothing left to lose.

Jason Todd isn't what Batman made him, he isn't what the Joker made him, he isn't what the League of Assassins made him, and he isn't what the Lazarus Pit made him. He's his own person and he's taking himself back, one home renovation at a time. Also he might just make friends with the people who are supposed to be his brothers while he's at it.

Five times that no one was thinking of Shiro as a dad.

Five Times Shiro couldn't be knocked off balance, one time he was, and one time he trusted the team to see. Or, when sibling bonding goes wrong. (Standalone story: You do NOT need to read the previous in the 'series' for this)

Tsuna doesn't know how he dies for good, only that he still has regrets when he does. When he wakes up, he's in the body of Sawada Nana, mother of a 2 year old Tsuna, and those regrets become tenfold. He's drowning in the implications, when an Arcobaleno appears on his doorstep, and the future becomes infinite possibility.

Xanxus is eight years old and desperate to find something more than a future in the slums. When he comes across a man with broken eyes and a mastery of orange flames, he thinks he’s found it.

Tsuna is not quite human, neither are his guardians. Magic and flames can have some odd interactions.

In a world where Fugaku has three sons, he wishes he'd stopped at the one. There's nothing wrong with the youngest, it's just... The middle child.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

All men are not created equal. This is a simple truth Izuku has known ever since he was four, when he first realized what it meant to have a quirk like his; a quirk that forces him to consume human flesh to survive. When it seems like his poor mother can't live with the burden of raising something like him any longer he leaves, hoping to at least grant her the peaceful life she deserves. At the same time, Katsuki witnesses something that changes the way he sees himself forever. With the guilt of causing Izuku's 'death' constantly looming over him he continues to fight and claw his way to the top. It would be a lot easier if he didn't have this freak who reminds him so much of the kid he'd bullied into suicide constantly being shoved in his face. --- In which Izuku is a ghoul, Inko tries and fails to protect her son, Katsuki thinks he's a murderer, Shigaraki is creepy, and All Might tries his best. Tags will be updated as necessary.

Trisha and Van's first child, Edith, was born a beautiful, healthy girl. The only problem? Ed knew he was a boy.

Midoriya Inko attracts small objects. Midoriya Hisashi breathes fire. Midoriya Izuku is full of stars.

If you've been reading FFXV fic on ao3, then there's no way you haven't noticed the whole MT!Prompto thing. It's full of whump and angst and sometimes fluff, it's got world-building and canon divergence, and it makes me want to scream LOGIC at my screen pretty often. So I recorded it.

Peter knows his father wasn't human. It's just not common knowledge that his mother wasn't either.

It was only supposed to be a game. A fun way to pass the time. Maybe even make friends. How was Tsuna supposed to know Jumanji had a mind of its own, or that 'survival game' was very literal?

Written for the prompt "Eldritch Abominations" "Kakashi doesn’t let his Light loose often, so to shed his skin twice in a day-- even if only a little bit-- gives him a high like no other. He lets a faint image of his wings burn into this reality and a million galaxies are reflected in his eyes. “Naruto is an Uzumaki through and through. There are certain differences you’ll just have to let me account for.” He creeps closer to the elders, speaking with more mouths with every word. “My mother once told me that when I was a baby I had a habit of forgetting I was supposed to be baby-shaped. My father was hardly allowed to look at me for fear of me blinding him by accident. I would hate to make the orphanage directors blind. And I would hate for you four to be responsible for it.” He returns to his form-- the silver hair that catches light a bit too well, the grey eye that sometimes doesn’t look grey, the pale skin that’s a bit too pale for anyone’s comfort. “I trust you to make the right decision.” The four elders consider for a moment. “Perhaps we can reach a compromise.”"

When the whole world tells Izuku that he's not capable of being anything more than a useless, quirkless deku, is it any wonder that he finds himself in games, where quirks don't matter? Is it any wonder that he finds himself in SAO?

in which I repost fics of various length that I posted on tumblr based on a specific modern 'verse that was discussed with one or more anons on my tumblr a while ago. Premise: Jon is still R+L but went to live with the Starks around five-ish after both his parents pretty much realized they bit off more than they could chew. Features extra Jon Connington being the responsible adult, Robb being a gift, the Tullys being fairly great people and so on. Specific ficlets: 1) jon connington comes clean with rhaegar about his feelings in a way he hadn't predicted; 2) jon c. finds out that rhaegar named his kid after him; 3) robb is *extremely* invested in making sure jon's first birthday party turns out great (ned/cat, robb & jon); 4) robb takes his brotherly duties with jon very seriously, good for everyone involved; 5) jon's first christmas with the starks *and* tullys; 6) how jon c. and brynden tully get together in this 'verse and realize they're actually perfect for each other; 7) jon (snow) and ygritte have their first child... who looks like rhaegar, GENETICS!.

Wolfgang is giving birth and no one is entirely sure what to do.

Maria can’t recall the last time she slept.

This isn’t how the season was supposed to go.

After dying on the Death Star, Obi-Wan Kenobi expects to; well, die. Instead, he wakes up in the initiate dorms at the Coruscant Temple. The Force has sent him back in time, given him a second chance, and he knows what he needs to do. At twelve years old, his life is at a crossroads. Does he apprentice to Qui-Gon Jinn or does he join the AgriCorps. He knows the fate of the galaxy if he chooses the former and so he dedicates himself to the latter. Only, the Force works in mysterious ways. When a third option is presented, becoming Yan Dooku's Padawan, Obi-Wan has to make a decision. With a new master and a new chance, Obi-Wan is determined to save the galaxy from Sidious's plans for it.

Later, he will say it was a calculated choice, that he looked at the odds and looked at the clones and decided that better the Jedi he didn't know than the Sith he did. This is, as it happens, a bare faced lie. (or: A Sith Lord realises, abruptly and rather late, that war means casualties, and decides that the great Jedi genocide plan can go fuck itself.)

Jack Drake catches his son sneaking in through the window, and jumps to the wrong conclusion.

Obi-wan Kenobi was chosen by a Master when he was a few months shy of his tenth birthday. Twenty plus years later, the galaxy as a whole has rather a lot of cause to regret that. (The longer the war drags on, the more Qui-gon Jinn finds to question; about himself, about the events of history, and about the Sith Lord who was once Jedi Knight Obi-wan Kenobi.)

“I’ll destroy a man for you,” he says breathlessly. Todoroki looks vaguely amused. “Good to know.” Midoriya passes the mug to Momo’s hands and then reaches up to put his hands on Todoroki’s cheeks so he can bring him down to eye-level. “No, listen. I will destroy a man for you.” Todoroki blinks at him, looking a little startled. “I have a seven year plan,” Midoriya elaborates terrifyingly. “O-kay?” he says throught his smushed cheeks. “Fuck Endeavor,” Midoriya says empathically. (Or: Midoriya has absolutely no filter when he's sleep deprived. That's it. That's the fic.)

In one world, the members of Class 1A, for the most part, had support systems and ways to cope that let them take things in stride. In another, they are left far more vulnerable to the traumas inflicted on them over and over. It all started with Todoroki Shouto seeing bruises on Yaoyorozu Momo's arm. The members of Class 1A begin to realize they are all far more alike than they thought, and the insecurities, fears, and pain they are facing are too much to handle- and so they decide to run as far away from them as they can, because if the world won't give them family, they'll be each other's family.

“Come with me,” Jango says. Blue-grey eyes narrow, head listing towards the side. “Why?” the teen asks wearily. “Because you’ll die here,” Jango states bluntly. You’ll die here, he thinks, and I’ll go off and die somewhere out there. “Ha,” the teen puffs a caustic laugh. “Okay.” “Okay,” he repeats.

Waking up two years before their adventure even began was a surprise. The Straw Hats have to find each other again and make their way back to the New World and their dreams. Dealing with younger, weaker bodies and the weight of future knowledge they will find it's not as easy as a simple do-over. Every change has an effect on themselves and on the world. This story will quickly diverge from cannon. It will mix up, move around and ignore entire arcs. These guys are not looking for a boring adventure when they already have answers. What's the point in doing it all the same?

Fox was no stranger to being used as a subject for Palpatine's experiments and Sith rituals. But when Palpatine decided to test out a mysterious artifact on Fox, the results were beyond what anyone could have anticipated.

“Are you familiar with the custom of the sea?” Robin asked. “The one among shipwreck survivors.” Sanji was the cook. It was his job to feed the crew.

It’s funny, Robin notes as she sits on the deck of the Thousand Sunny, book in hand, That the people who are called Demon, Monster, Devil aboard this ship of dreams are not the true Monsters. No, she thinks, watching her crew as they spend the day on the deck of the Sunny, Not monsters at all. - Or: The East Blue has a different nickname to those in the Grand Line, and those who hail it as home have a few... unique traits.