"We'll show them," Kuina breathes, wiping blood from the corner of her mouth as she looks to her sister. "Girls can be swordsmen too." Zahra nods dutifully, holding her tongue between a jaw clenched tight enough to crack; I think I’m boy, she wants to say - he wants to say, but doesn't, feeling sick as his stomach tightens. Traitor, it seems to taunt, his body a riot against him, traitor, traitor, you're a traitor, she just wants you to understand, she just wants you to be a girl.

AU in which everything's the same except Luffy's a selkie. “What does the future Pirate King want with me?” Zoro deadpans at the skyline of blues above, humouring the sunlight-wielding, ocean-wearing oddity of a man before him. Luffy throws his arms wide and snickers a reply. “To get married of course!”

Curly-Brow hisses, “What, exactly, am I supposed to have them do?” The guy looks at Zoro and adds, “Amputation via sword?” “Clerical, scribing, changing bedpans? The world’s your fuckin’ oyster and they,” Dr. Old Man thrusts a wrinkled thumb at them, “are your fuckin’ problem now.” Luffy takes this moment to wave and bound right up to the nurse with a chirp of, “Hi! I’m Monkey D. Luffy and I’m gonna’ be the Pirate King. Sorry about your roof.” The nurse stares at Luffy for a solid five seconds, unblinking. Nami whispers despairingly, “Oh my fucking gods.” The nurse turns back to Dr. Old Man and asks, “Am I allowed to submit this one for a psych eval?” -- In which Sanji is the crew's doctor and not their cook. This changes remarkably little.

Three inches in front of Sanji's face, Zoro is wearing an expression that could wither stone. "What the fuck," the swordsman snarls, "do you think you’re doing." The remaining logical dregs of Sanji's brain recognize that he's just gotten himself into a pretty dicey situation. The rest of it apparently doesn't fucking care, though, because the absurd line of response he comes up with is to grin right in Zoro's supremely pissed-off face and say- "Well, what was your dumb ass doing?" In which the crew’s plastered, Zoro needs to blow off some steam, and Sanji gets taught a lesson or two.