AU in which everything's the same except Luffy's a selkie. “What does the future Pirate King want with me?” Zoro deadpans at the skyline of blues above, humouring the sunlight-wielding, ocean-wearing oddity of a man before him. Luffy throws his arms wide and snickers a reply. “To get married of course!”

Five times Tim had a wet dream about his best friend, and one time he didn't.

It becomes the Question—the one every vod is talking about from the bridge of the Negotiator to her dark bowels where the laundry rooms churn and chug along: who takes care of the General? -- In which Obi-Wan is touch starved and his men take notice.

He can feel the vibrations against his throat as Sam speaks, his voice velvety smooth. "Did you know an orgasm helps with headaches?". Blunt fingernails scratch softly at the nape of his neck, the sensation causing a shudder to rack its way through Seb's frame. "Really?" Seb asks. Silence spells between the two, and Seb can feel the warmth that radiates from Sam's cheek as he chews on his lip. Seb tilts his chin up so they're making eye contact, cobalt blue eyes meeting those of viridian. Though his voice beams with confidence, his stature and mannerisms are riddled with nerves and insecurity. "Yeah," Sam's eyes contain nebulas, dilated pupils swirling with want as he nods. "You offering one or something?" Sebastian grins lopsidedly at the blond, tracing small shapes into the back of his hand. - Sebastian has a headache. Sam offers him relief.

Dabi narrows his eyes. "Alright. Let's say you don't die. You still have a limited amount of blood, and a lack of blood flow or oxygen to your brain could probably cause permanent damage that even your immortality can't repair." "I'll stop you before that happens," Hawks says, with way more confidence than he has any right to have. "You have zero self-preservation instincts," Dabi has to point out. Hawks grins at him, shooting him finger guns. "So we doing this, or what?" ~ Dabi is a vampire who's never had human blood straight from the tap before. Hawks is a dumbass college student cursed with immortality. What could go wrong?

“It’s a myth.” “It’s not.” “It absolutely is.” “It is not,” Jesper groans. “Well, I've never done it-“ “I’ve never been on time to anything ever, darling, but that doesn’t mean punctuality isn’t possible.”

The window is open - Hawks can hear the sounds of the busy city thrumming below his penthouse apartment and the cool breeze fluttering the curtains. It feels almost magical to be here, bathed in warmth in the bedroom, only the moon and the low lights either side of the bed illuminating Dabi, staples glinting gold where they catch the light. He’s so very beautiful when he’s like this, breathing a little harder than usual, sweat making the high points of his cheeks glow. Hawks catches Dabi’s gaze as his fingers brush against his spot and he lets out a breathy moan. Dabi makes the same ‘come hither’ gesture, smirking - Hawks wants to drag him so close that their skin melts together and they become one person. He thinks he’d finally be content, then. Dabi pulls his fingers out with a sordid, wet squelch and Hawks wants to punch him instead.

To be clear, Cassie is Wonder Girl. Very much so is she Wonder Girl. She likes being called that; she likes being called “she”. She likes being Amazon-adjacent enough to almost count as a sister to Themyscira. She doesn’t always like . . . other things associated with being Wonder Girl, though. Or even being a girl at all. Anyway, that’s why she just broke two pairs of scissors trying to get her stupid fucking hair to just fucking cut already in one of Titans Tower’s communal bathrooms. One of the girls’ communal bathrooms, which isn’t really helping how she feels right now.

And, well. He gets impatient when he’s already in pain. He’s still got fifteen minutes until the meeting is set to begin, and the chances of him slapping Mr. Smith-Harguson so hard that the man’s toupee flies off are rising exponentially by the second. Yeah, that settles it. He needs an excuse to get out of here, and he needs it fast. - for the prompt 'jason todd, lover of fake kidnappings, meets tim drake, lover of chaos', but it... got out of hand. happy pride

So listen, Danny knew going into this PA job that it was a bad idea to work directly under Tim Drake-Wayne. He knows himself, and unfortunately that means he knows his type, which Tim was practically tailor made for. It's like whatever ghost is in charge of the cycle of reincarnation sat down with clockwork to pick out the perfect soul and genetic donors for his future King to fall in love with. He knows for a fact that didn't happen; Clockwork is too much a smug bastard to NOT have poked the two of them into each other's lives yet if that was the case.

“You wouldn’t say no to a woman with bread in her skirt, would you?” the bard says.