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Make Yourself At Home
Bonding over sleepless nights, incoherency, and pizza. Because sometimes, you need a friend. "Sure you won't come up for a drink? You know, as long as you're in the neighborhood." "I bet you say that to all the defrosted soldiers on your doorstep at three in the morning."
Prospit Sandwiches With Alternian Fillings
EB: WHEN I SAID OKAY FINE JADE LET'S TRY TO **DISCREETLY** PUT OUT FEELERS I DIDN'T MEAN GO RIGHT UP TO HIM AND ASK HIM POINT BLANK IF HE'D LIKE TO STAR IN HIS OWN KINKTASTIC ALIEN PORNO!!!!!!!! GG: >:/ oh yes because "btw do you have a gf" totally means "hey do you wanna be the yummy filling in a twin sandwich" in normal people land. dont be a buttface, john!! >:( Sequel to Adventures in Collaborative Storytelling.
Off the Handle
Alternate names – ‘this human emotion called ‘butt-touch,’’ ‘but who tops,’ ‘parkourstuck’ Steps 1. Be Dave Strider, human, tricker extraordinaire and minor GrubTube sensation. Meet some douchebag at a practice session. 2. Be Karkat Vantas, troll, traceur with a few tricks and an ornery fucker with something to hide. 3. Step into the trick, keep your core tight, and flip. 4. Keep flipping. 5. Now kiss. Tips -Drink plenty of water. -Don’t slow down as you’re approaching the obstacle! That’s stutter-stepping, and you will fuck up hard. -Knees up, shoulders back. -Quit worrying already and touch his hot butt.
The Only Recipe For Lasagna You'll Ever Need
Choose lasagna as good first meal for boy humans (1) and boy trolls (1) to show you can overcome this cooking thing. Feel impugned when Rose suggests you would both eat popcorn between two slices of bread and call it a day. Advise her you only did that the once.
dave striders journal alternatively titled why do i listen to my sister alternatively titled how do i hold all these feels alternatively titled god dammit
"and you never guessed/the one you loved best/to draw always drew/pictures of you/undressed." A fairly plotless accumulation of pornographic pennings, courtesy of one Dave Strider.
Miracle Child
More than two sweeps after being returned to a restored Alternia, the trolls face impending adulthood and banishment from the planet. Gamzee Makara fully expects to be culled on conscription for poor health and sopor addiction - what he doesn't count on is the personal attention and protection of the Grand Highblood.
Be Calm, Look Cute
“It's a contingency plan in case of accidental teenagering,” says Stark.
Home Is Where The Heart Is
"An immense saucer descending from the clouds and impacting the ground, as the press and through them the people of Earth looked on in shock and awe. That was the scene in California's Mohave desert two years ago today: the historic first view of the Alternian ship upon its dramatic arrival. Their ship was a refugee ship carrying a quarter million children and young adults ready to settle in almost any environment, but they washed ashore on Earth with no way to get back to where they came from. Civil liberties attorneys successfully lobbied for the Alternians' release from quarantine and in the last two years, the Alternians have become the latest addition to the population of Los Angeles." The representitives of a race of newcomers fight to give their people a home on Earth- but even without the deadly killer stalking the streets of LA, just surviving is hard enough for some. Can humans and aliens work together to build a better future? Or is it all doomed to end in bloodshed? One thing is for sure - for sixteen teenagers, this is going to be a dangerous week. AUTHOR'S NOTE: You don't have to know Alien Nation at all to read, understand or enjoy this fic!
One of Our Submarines
Sollux Captor, recently drafted into the Service of Her Imperious Condescension, discovers a secret community of Helmsmen hidden inside the Imperial communications network. Meanwhile on Alternia, Karkat Vantas is up to his goddamn nook in revolution.
Don't Look at Me (I'm Indiscreet)
The pack asks Stiles to find a way to get Derek to chill out. This is the best he can come up with.
Write a New Alphabet
Building a pack, one messed-up set of dynamics at a time. Post S2, slow-build Sterek, Stiles-centric, multiple POV fics. Jossed by early s3 Jeff Davis reveals and extending into a future fic. Bamf!Sheriff, magic!Stiles, ambiguous!Peter, and all the drama Beacon Hills can provide. Warnings for shifting and poly relationships, meta and all the literary and film nerdery that being around Stiles would involve. Also, general warnings for any and all characters undergoing: gore/medical trauma, PTSD, grief, angst, angst, angst (did I mention angst), pining, identity issues, sexuality crises, violence of magical and non-magical sources, homework from Harris, college applications (the HORROR) and general WTF IS MY LIFE kinds of reflections. Sunnydale Beacon Hills is like that.
A Little Off the Top
On the list of "Things Karkat Needs to Remember To Pack for Surviving This Fucking Game, In Order of Priority," hair styling utensils fell somewhere between "rubble that crushed my lusus" and "last sweep's decomposable trash, recently unburied from the back lawnring, along with all those bodies of the undead I had to kill." In other words, somebody needs to give that boy a brush.
Mistranslation
It is important to keep in mind that when a human says, "I hate you," it is most certainly not a come-on. The only thing more horrific than human apathy is human hatred. They do, after all, have two words for friendship. Or so we thought.
tell me we're dead and i'll love you even more
The link between wolves and red is the link between madness and human mates.
If I Had A Wish (Or Even A Choice)
Stiles has a preference for written porn. He also has a thing for Derek's voice. So when Derek finds his erotica collection, this is clearly either the best or the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
Crazy
rom the 2011 kink meme. The prompt was: In Fast and Furious when Braga asks Dom and Brian if they know each other, what if instead of saying 'He used to date my sister' Dom decided not to make Brian's undercover assignment easy for him and mess with his head a little by saying 'We used to date' instead.
Not Quite Adulthood
His body had grown, not quite to full adulthood, but close enough. With that came things that didn’t quite add up for the young boy stuck living in it.
Untitled, to establish solemnity and possible inner conflict
Abed leaves a message for Annie and Troy. Complicated film theory, and three revelations (of which only one is surprising), lie therein.
Advanced Ambulatory Ichthyology
Course provides advanced instruction in avoidance of the phenomenon commonly known as "jumping the shark." Prerequisites for this course include Introduction to Friendship, Contemporary Best Friendship, The Politics of Emotional Baggage and Cohabitation 207. Students may wish to simultaneously enroll in our sister course, Introduction to Non-Traditional Romance, but said enrollment is optional.
Screenwriting for Dummies
"And remember: Star-Burns died for your sins." Wherein wishes become a[n almost] daily phenomenon, rules are broken and re-negotiated, and Greendale continues to evolve around shifting student-body relationships. This picks up immediately after 4x01, effectively an alternate Season 4 (and everything thereafter, for that matter). Expect occasional additions (e.g. the recent arrival of #11).
Studies in Domestic Cohabitation
In which Abed and Troy learn how to be boyfriends and Britta moves in while they're not looking. Canon compliant through 4.10.
Friends Across Borders
Two long-time enemy nations can't become meaningful allies overnight. Stories from the lives of a border-guard Herald and Sunpriest, from their first meeting to the end, and insights into just how Karse and Valdemar were able to turn around their relationship so fast.
The Wedding Crashers
After two years on her own, and two more as a hunter with Sam and Dean Winchester, Leah thought she’d escaped her old life at La Push. But when she’s called home to attend Jacob and Renesmee’s wedding, she brings a little company, and the stage is set for her old and new lives to collide.
howl
They're monsters, but what better to hunt a monster than another? A tale of two ANBU: otherwise known as the life and times of Hound, the Hokage's ever-loyal dog, aka Hatake Kakashi, and Owl, the hunter that flies on silent, deadly wings, aka Umino Iruka
Unexpected Side-Effects
With one action, an overwhelmed Cloud Strife changes the course of history in Nibelheim. It doesn't really get better for him.
Remember the Days of the World
He fights alone for what the rest of humanity has forgotten, and doesn't even know to ask.
Best Laid Plans
"Dude," said Holster, his eyes huge, "that's so sad. We gotta get them together." "This isn't a romcom, Holtzy, " Ransom said, patting his arm. "I'm sure that's not what Shitty had in mind." "Actually," said Shitty, "that's exactly what I had in mind. And I've got a plan."
The Demands of Good Men
The not so epic romance of Dorian Pavus of the illustrious House Pavus and Hissrad-- more commonly known as The Iron Bull-- of the Ben-Hassrath.
Redeemer
Dorian is not returning to Tevinter, as such. He just happens to be the best person to pop over the border and chase down a few leftover Venatori, that's all. He'll be back to Skyhold in no time. Turns out the road to starting a revolution is paved with good intentions.
Funny how it always goes with love
“Yes,” Dad says, tone matching Stiles’ exactly. “Because I’ve gone bra shopping so many times, I’m practically a pro.” -- Or the one where Stiles is a girl and nothing really changes.
The Next Quarter Mile
“We going to get somewhere anytime soon?” Dom said. Brian was staring out the windshield. “Do you trust me?” “What the fuck kind of question is that?” Dom said. “If you say yes, I’m going to take you on the worst fucking ride of your life,” Brian said. “Do you trust me?”
For Fear Tonight Is All
Tyrion knew, as he gazed up at the dark skinned Martell man that this was perhaps his only chance to spirit Sansa out of King's Landing and away from his father's greedy fingers. Tywin Lannister would have married the girl himself if he felt he could have gotten away with it, and so Tyrion knew his own marriage was no protection to Ned Stark's daughter whatsoever. "Invite her, demand her, steal her--whatever you choose, Prince Oberyn, choose it soon. Else my lady wife shall break into more pieces than the stars."
Hearts Full of Sand (and Sand Makes Glass)
30 young sand sibling drabbles, wherein Temari is (sometimes) a lady, Kankurou doesn't play nice with the other kids, and Gaara is perhaps a little socially inept.
The Brooklyn Bridge Job (Let’s Go Steal A HYDRA Asset)
The Leverage team gets called in to find and help someone caught between something he doesn't think he's earned and something no one deserves. A MCU Leverage AU that solely exists because Parker would GROK Bucky so fucking hard, y’all. This started as a joke about Magic Mike XXL, and is, in whole, the fault of Katemonster, They Who Transcend All Genders.
American Values
aka Steve Accidentally Joins the NY Pride Parade. He had just meant to go to the grocer’s. They needed eggs.
The girl who has forgotten (The Wolves of Winterfell Remix)
Somewhere far away, far from the home she once knew – the home she can no longer remember, or she can but she does not wish too – there is a girl who does not remember her name, nor anything of the life she came from. Until the night she dreams of wolves.
Loki, Lilo & Stitch
Loki falls from the Bifrost, and lands in Lilo's garden. Chaos ensues.
Where There's Smoke
The Iron Bull is a firefighter with scars and history to spare. Dorian keeps setting things on fire- like curtains, and dates. Or, the one where two messed up people find each other, Solas is a righteous avenger, Cullen really needs to stop online dating, and everyone gets a happy ending but not without some pain to go with it.
Biscuitverse
John, Sherlock, and Mary are married. No one knows. Except Molly. Who's helping Mary with a murder. While Sherlock proposes to Janine. Who's working for the guy who's blackmailing Mary and who Mary's planning to kill. Which neither John nor Sherlock know. What could go wrong?!
Road & Romance
Shitty Knight takes a post-graduation road trip. Four friends, six thousand miles, two tents, several embarrassing photos, a giant rabbit, three cops, and a bear.
From The Ashes
Yu Yu Hakusho: The Dead Girl Remix. With all your favorites, digitally remastered.
The Harmony of You and Me
In which a case of early-morning mistaken identity goes very, very right.
Storytime with Karkat
Dave and Karkat have storytime with the trollmance novel. -If Dave isn’t going to get jolly over some fantasy troll getting eaten out, he is maybe going to get a little jolly over Karkat getting jolly over some fantasy troll getting eaten out.-
Something Beautiful To See
When you ask if you can tie Karkat up tonight, he’s basically not surprised at all. It’s not an all-the-time-always thing, but it’s pretty standard! So he’s not surprised, no, but he still goes bright red and shrugs with one shoulder and says sure, he guesses he doesn’t have a problem with it (like you can’t totally see just how hard he’s blushing). It’s pretty dang adorable.
Bite Me
No one ever said that pirates fight fair, but if someone bites you in a fight then it's perfectly reasonable to bite them back. Sanji has to learn that life isn't fair and nothing else is either but that bad jokes and falling in love certainly makes unlife worth living. Zosan/Sanzo tw:blood and blood drinking
A Not Unwelcome Distraction
Dorian enjoys being fingered while Bull watches television and Bull certainly has no complaints.
Starstuck
Your name is Dave Strider and your universe is DEAD. You have to find a safe place for your nubby-horned, alien companion in the DEPTHS OF SPACE. Under normal circumstances, you would be deader than your old universe, but you're no longer a MERE HUMAN, having ascended to god tier. The troll has not, but it helps that you hitch a ride on a FANCY SPACESHIP. All you need to do is find your MISSING FRIENDS and you are golden. >>AU after the scratch. USS Enterprise [UE] began texting turntechGodhead [TG] at ??? UE: Hello. This is Captain James T. Kirk of the starship USS Enterprise. We are on a peaceful mission of exploration. UE: My communications officer picked up an odd signal from this location. Can we offer any assistance? --Now with FANART--
Make it Ugly
It's Sid's job as captain to match up the subs on his team with suitable Doms. It doesn't take long to figure out that the only Dom he would trust Jamie Benn's particular needs to is himself.
So It's Going
They managed to win the game somehow. He's not really sure of the details, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. He's stuck in an unfamiliar body with a thirteen year old little brother who's terrified of him. Somehow, he is sure this is his fault.
One Night to Blow
Yuuri pounded on the back door of the strip club urgently. A security guard opened it, took one look at the desperate, drunk, giggling man in front of him, and started to close it promptly. “Wait!” Yuuri blurted out, trying to look serious. “Please, just hear what I have to say.” “Please listen to him,” Phichit begged, his eyes glittering with maniacal glee. “This might be the best thing that will ever happen in my entire life.” (post episode 10 - in which Yuuri gets drunk, Viktor probably gets a boner, and Phichit finally gives his best man's speech)
