Dave has a thing for large breasts. Jade discovers she does too.

just two hormonal teenaged boys talking about their dicks.

Teasing can be frustrating, but it will all be worth it in the end - right?

Good girls go to heaven, but the bad girls dress up Mr. Ampora on Saturday nights. In which Rose knows she must be disturbed.

You're a late bloomer at nine sweeps, and you don't yet have a concupiscent quadrant filled. This leaves you alone and self-pailing for the duration of your mating cycle—at least, that was the idea. When Karkat bursts in on you, it sort of throws off your plans for the week.

Dirrck gets sent a link to "Part Eight of Proper Helmsman Maintenance: Genetic Material Collection", an instructional video which may or may not star his ancestor and the legendary Psiioniic. He watches the video.

Karkat can match him at either end of his scale, balancing both highs and lows with this kind of frothing, incoherent fury that's...kind of attractive, in the right light. All that energy. All that drive.

Dave and Karkat have storytime with the trollmance novel. -If Dave isn’t going to get jolly over some fantasy troll getting eaten out, he is maybe going to get a little jolly over Karkat getting jolly over some fantasy troll getting eaten out.-

"But he had seen the eggs Sollux chose, plain white and faux-chitinous. They were only objects. He had seen no elaborate pulsing, vibrating tubes concealed around the hive, no geometric anomalies or live creatures in the egg jar, and with growing disbelief Karkat began to wonder if Sollux was inexplicably on the vanilla side of what was turning out to be an entire subculture of oviposition." Sollux picks up some jelly and a dozen eggs.

Care and fucking of your lispy bipolar nerd.

This is a mixfill of two prompts! Prompt 1: Jane/Equius - She's a classy blue heiress, he's probably resilient enough to survive surprise dominatrix mode, it could work. Prompt 2: Sharp dressed man, Equius Zahhak Gold watch, diamond ring I ain't missin' not a single thing And cufflinks, stick pin When I step out I'm gonna do you in They come runnin' just as fast as they can 'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man Equius Zahhak in some very nice clothes, getting undressed later by an interested party and preferably ridden hard to be put away wet. Possibly even at the party in some secluded alcove. C'mon, you know that the boy would be fiiiiiine in a tailored suit. And then it exploded on me and turned into an actual fic, god damn it. Stay tuned.

In which Karkat Vantas' roommate, Dave "straight as a line of coke" Strider, discovers the joys of prostate stimulation. Again. And again. And again.