A Point Break/The Fast and the Furious crossover romance with a sexuality crisis, surfing, a vaguely self-insertish OFC, and lots of beer and sex. Johnny Utah/Brian O'Conner.

When he takes the rap for a crime committed by Barney and the Swordsman, Clint is charged as an adult at 17 and spends the next four years of his life without protection in prison. Enter one Neal Caffrey, who knows how to charm his way to whatever he wants or needs, and Clint's life gets a lot more interesting. Pretty much, the story of Clint in prison, Clint getting out, and Clint, like always, finding his way to SHIELD, and Phil.

Sidney groans, because this is ridiculous. “I think I’m having an allergic reaction,” he says.

“Patrick wonders idly what Toews' daemon is; something like a python, maybe, or a bird of prey. It would just figure if it were a hawk, Patrick thinks in disgust; he's already starting to hate Toews a little so he tries to dial it back. Then he notices a big cat—some kind of, like, mountain lion—sitting well apart from the other daemons. It's watching the ice intently, and if Patrick had anyone to bet with, he knows where he'd put his money.”

Tony Stark went to demonstrate a missile. Instead, he found himself in the midst of an intergalactic war between two organic robotic armies, in which humans are merely ants on the battlefield. The other humans, that is. Because he has an Autobot spark in his chest, and wouldn't it have been awfully nice of his father to mention that he hadn't really invented most of the things that Starktech was known for, but actually borrowed them from the Decepticons? So now, Tony is supposed to help save the world, when he'd really rather just crawl into bed with some of the very interesting people he's managed to meet along the way. Well, if he does manage to save the world, maybe he'll finally get laid.

"I think I met someone," John says at his next therapist's appointment. "A friend." "Really?" Ella asks. She sounds pleased, and also surprised. "What's his name?" John nods. "Really. His name's Sherlock. He -- he plays the same game as me, the online one. We party together."

“We going to get somewhere anytime soon?” Dom said. Brian was staring out the windshield. “Do you trust me?” “What the fuck kind of question is that?” Dom said. “If you say yes, I’m going to take you on the worst fucking ride of your life,” Brian said. “Do you trust me?”

A one-night-stand becomes a whole lot more. If only life were that simple.

AU world, where mutants are government property, and The Losers just got assigned a new sniper

He had died- honorably, he'd like to think, despite living as a villain and an assassin for over half a century- and that, as far as Xanxus had ever figured, would be the end of that. No heaven. No hell. Just life when you were breathing and nothingness when you stopped. Except that it didn't, quite, turn out that way. Except he came back as the son of the kindest, sometimes saddest father in the world. In both worlds. A father that he knew, without a doubt, to be his flesh and blood. All at once, Xanxus had everything he'd wanted as a child. A home. A family. Stability. And he was going to fight like hell and beat down anyone who tried to take it from him, no matter what his age. (In which Sakumo raises a son who speaks multiple languages from birth, all of them gibberish to the poor single father jounin, spits vulgarity with the same ease as he does his praise and burns with an unshakable determination to build himself a family that will not fall, no matter who or what is thrown against it.)

The one in which Tsuna and his friends consciously disperse to the four winds when they reach high school, and somehow, all of Tsuna's classmates manage to fall desperately for him before the end of their first year together. And have to find some way to deal with it, since life doesn't stop just because the most unremarkable guy in their year seemed to become irresistible overnight. The most popular defense in their arsenal? Is the phrase, "Sawada Tsunayoshi? Makes. No. Sense." (Or: All Tachibana Ren had wanted was to make a place for himself, away from Iwatobi and the protective hovering of his family. Nothing could have prepared him or the rest of his class for what getting through high school alongside one Sawada Tsunayoshi would mean for them in the long run.)

This was not his bedroom; this was definitely not his apartment. It was a single room, with a small table across from the bed and a fireplace on the back wall. When he looked out the window, he could see evergreen trees and the chatty bird who wanted everyone to know what his plans for the day were. The walls and floor were plain wood, and a small painting of a tree hung on the wall. At the end of the bed—which was not Brian’s normal bed—Pat looked about two minutes away from an anxiety attack. Mentally, Brian gave Pat a pass for what he would usually consider an overreaction. “Are we,” Brian started, then tried again: “Is this—?” Pat nodded, holding out a small yellow pouch with a parsnip drawn on the front and an open letter addressed to Brian.

It's been months since Jiang Cheng has last seen his lovers. To make up for it, he comes to Qinghe bearing a gift.