A story about not!Russians, the Atlantis Hockey League, accidental offworld marriages (of course) and the intergalactic sex appeal of the mullet.

It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.

"Steve Rogers just wanted to sell good, nourishing, cheap food from his food truck. Now the crazy fusion chefs from TOBRU are calling him a hipster, the avant garde restaurant "Shield" across the street has declared war on chains, and...well, then there's Thor, who thinks Steve's habit of licking food is weird."

"Five times the Avengers pawned kids off on the Jean Grey School."

"IM3 SPOILERS! My Bot Oriented post-IM3 fic"

"Stiles is Brian, Derek is Dom and Scott is Mia. That's where it gets weird."

"When Kon gets hit with sex pollen, all he wants is Tim."

Stiles is wandering the corridors of Stargate Command in search of caffeine and calories when he meets Major Ford.

"Merida makes a friend."

"Around the time that Glinda first hears Elphaba's song sung around the palace, she starts having dreams of Elphaba."

"The first question to ask any runner: 'Are you running from, or toward?' Or: The life of a girl named Brian."

"In which Darcy gets Steve's number and proceeds to drag him into the modern world via text messaging and their friends start to ship it."

"In which Sophie tells horror stories, Eliot is a princess and Nate is confused."

"For this prompt at comment-fic on lj: Iron Man/Leverage, Parker+JARVIS, Breaking into the Stark Mansion is a real challenge."

"Kon can hear Tim's heartbeat from further away than he'll ever admit, tracks it automatically when they're together, and sometimes, even when they're not."

"Derek as Khal Drogo (but set in snow beyond the wall) and Stiles as Daenerys Stormborn (although he's a greenseer of the Children rather than a dragon)."

"Things the men of the Howling Commandos are no longer allowed to do in the SSR."

The spotted hyena is a highly successful animal, being the most common large carnivore in Africa. The American teenager is a highly successful predator, being the most common large carnivore in Sunnydale. OR, a fanmix to accompany United, Bound, Pack: Finding a Place, for 2014 PolyBigBang.

"Prompt: Caine expected the sex and to do what he's told and to like it. He didn't expect to be taken care of and cuddled and thanked afterwards too."

From this prompt by reena_jenkins: Angie/Peggy WW2 AU, where Peggy is still with the SSR but Angie achieves her dream of stardom by way of being a USO Girl in Steve's show? And there's COMPETENCE KINK. (I didn't hit the competence kink, alas.)

"There's a tiny scrap of a woman leaning against the wall near her. Jo's been too focused on the lack of readings, senses dulled by the white noise of the crowd. She curses herself silently."

"I hate him." Dick snorts from his seat on the sofa. "You can't hate him, Jay, you've never even met him." "I can and I do," Jason insists, slapping the magazine he's been holding down onto the counter. "Food & Wine thinks he's better than me! Look!"

"Sid learns how to skate on air."

Tumblr prompt: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY AS OUTER-SPACE 'LEVERAGE'

"How does someone go from tracking an unknown target to diving to certain death through an impassible hurricane in order to save them? Maybe it goes a bit like this: a few death-defying feats of bravery, a fair bit of flirtation, a whole boatload of social awkwardness, a generous spoonful of sexual attraction. Mix with jokes, touching, taking care of each other, and trust. Season liberally with the spice of the forbidden and some good old-fashioned hormones, and add just a dash of where have you been all my life. Maybe it's not a recipe for true love- but what a way to start. Or: Caine Wise, from first rescue to last."

"The one where American-born, Russian based swimmer Bucky Barnes is Steve Roger's number one rival for Olympic gold. In which Steve and Bucky are good friends despite the media's attempt at rivalry beat up and Steve has a lot of feelings."

"Caine's a good dog, yes he is."

"In which neither Peggy nor Susan like the cold."

“Derek,” Cora growls from halfway across the Quidditch pitch, her bat paused mid-air like she’d been about to go for a swing. “What the holy hell is your weirdo Gryffindor boyfriend doing?”

"Jupiter doesn't feel ready for the bureaucratic nightmare of getting Titus to trial, or for the weirdness of being royalty in general. Fortunately, someone's written a guide exactly suited to her new needs."

"Five lone wolves do not make a pack. Unless they do."

"'4 and 14 adopt a newborn baby together. What do they name it, how do they raise it, etc, etc. Do they eventually get it siblings? Do they ditch it in a dumpster on prom night because its not as fun as they thought?' THIS IS QUITE LITERALLY THE WEIRDEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. And yet, I am oddly charmed by it."

Tim Wayne, adopted son of Gotham mogul and secret vigilante Bruce Wayne, shows every sign of being his father's true successor - by day, and by night. Tim sets his sights on a valuable Metropolis lab for merger with Wayne Biotech, and all that stands in his way is the city's own rising star: Conner Luthor.

Two years after Lady Knight, it is time for Keladry to return to Corus.

"You remember fun, don't you, Tim?"

"You entertain yourself by drawing on your arm with a Sharpie?"

Kon has a crisis. Tim wears pajamas.

Kon is bored easily, and Tim is skittish.

How far will Tim go for authenticity?

Stiles Stilinski is a spark. [AU after Thor]

In a world where Natasha Stark still dreams of fire and blood, the Winter Soldier wakes ahead of schedule and nothing happens the way it was meant to. (People don’t have a purpose.)

“Sorry,” Poe pants, shivering as Finn’s hands still on his skin, palms warm and callous-rough. “Sorry, I get kind of loud when, uh—“ “You have sex?” Finn grins at him, lower lip between his teeth. It makes Poe want to whine. “I like it.”

"Dick and Jason are having sex."

Neal doesn't often talk about his family. / Parker said, "This is my grandpa Hermes." [Two interconnected drabbles involving Hermes, God of Thieves.]

Tim is bad at feelings, so he instigates a prank war. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Derek smirks at her, eyes hooded as he leans closer still, until his lips are brushing her ear. His breath fans hotly over the curve of her neck and Stiles shudders, knuckles going white as she clasps them together between her legs. “Touch yourself,” he whispers, the curve of his lips a shade too wicked.

He's never been able to decide if Kon does it on purpose, or by habit. It doesn't bother him. Mostly.

Does the whole 'we can see your eyes now' thing mean you're going to not be a repressed freak anymore?

Three times Bruce was a Batdad to his Batkids.

He feels helpless, and not in the good way. Not in the way he needs to feel, the way that means freedom. Being the Alpha means not getting to feel that anymore.