For an LJ avengerkink prompt: Steve is very confused/weirded out by the distinct lack of pubic hair on modern women (or at least the women Tony has forcibly exposed him to). Sure he's a virgin, but he's seen naughty pictures/European burlesque shows. Therefore he's more than a little apprehensive when Natasha finally gets her panties off. Luckily she's a firm believer in giving her partners something to hold on to. Steve goes wild. +1 - it happens during group sexytimes and all the others stop what they're doing to watch Steve eat her out

Pepper didn't want to know how Natasha had access to a camera overlooking the gym showers. She just wanted more margaritas.

"At first you'd thought Terezi felt a little left out of this clusterfuck of a relationship, always watching you and Karkat at each others' throats and goading each other on, but you've come to realize that she doesn't mind being a little on the sidelines. Correction: she gets off on it."

You have to put him in school, and if you weren't busy trying to make money to keep a roof over his head in this world where neither of you belong, you would be all about home schooling. You have to prepare him for the game. You only got eight years left.

In which Bro explains his sexuality to Dave. (No incest except for the joking kind.)

Tony falls through the space between worlds. As a result, he can see daemons. It kind of freaks him out. (It's stranger and more beautiful than he could have ever imagined.)

Aqualad has no idea what he's in for.

Stiles leans into the touch. “Was it awkward masturbating in a house full of werewolves?” He asks, as he does, so impulsive but genuinely interested.

Seven Happily Ever Afters that weren't. Welcome to the Wonderful World of Disney.

"But he had seen the eggs Sollux chose, plain white and faux-chitinous. They were only objects. He had seen no elaborate pulsing, vibrating tubes concealed around the hive, no geometric anomalies or live creatures in the egg jar, and with growing disbelief Karkat began to wonder if Sollux was inexplicably on the vanilla side of what was turning out to be an entire subculture of oviposition." Sollux picks up some jelly and a dozen eggs.

Conner has a very specific fantasy in mind. He wants Tim to watch, and Tim is more than glad to do so.

Some people get mean when they drink. Some people get quiet, or loud, or weepy. Sid gets… well.

"Tonight, Zach carried me home."

Gajeel is not good with words - but he is good with flowers.

Anders: So, there must be mages in Tevinter that don't use blood magic. Fenris: Of course. There are slaves. The magisters do not hesitate to collar their own kind. --- Or, the one where Danarius finds out about the blood magic ritual his long time enemy Halward Pavus is planning and things go even worse for Dorian.

So, I looked at the prompt that sparked Ex Cinere and suddenly had Inquisition-era dialogue coming out of my ears. Here, have some of that. Now includes some new material not seen on the kinkmeme. Seriece for Ex Cinere

To be fair, part of it was Simone helping them communicate, setting them up, or, as she likes to tell it, “getting you to stop being dumbasses about each other.”

"It wasn’t that he was crushing on Pat Gill, not really. Brian was comfortable having a close friendship which involved physical affection, and even jokes regarding it. He was just...he smelled nice, even when he was sweaty. He had really nice and soft hair. The way he gripped his leg and lifted him so easily was nice. The way the crotch of his jeans felt against his—" After the Shadow of the Colossus Gill and Gilbert, Pat and Brian find themselves dealing with the fact that there are consequences to being in on-and-off intimate positions with your coworker for over an hour, and those consequences tend to manifest themselves quite noticeably in your pants.

"Right, everyone, pack light, no time to waste, if you can’t carry it forget you ever had it, let's move," says Hawke. "We're fugitives as of this morning and I give us about an hour before the combined forces of the Chantry decide they're not feeling forgiving. Less. We'll take ship out of Kirkwall and then we'd better split up." The gang leaves Kirkwall, and Fenris and Hawke are bad at communication.

"So," User(s) panted, pulling out of the WSFS lawyer(s) and falling sideways onto the bed. "You'll let us say we all won Hugos now right?"

“There are two people I can think of who might know anything,” Lavellan said. “Experts - on the Fade, on the history of elvhenan. Unfortunately,” a grimace, “one of them has vanished, and if all the resources of the Inquisition can’t find him, I doubt you can.” “And the other?” Fenris demanded. “Something from my own history, for once. Not an Inquisition thing. There is - a criminal,” said Lavellan. “Exiled from the clans. She was the blood mage who murdered Clan Sabrae and its Keeper. Last I heard she was living in Kirkwall. A very dangerous woman - possibly insane, actually - but I met her once at Arlathven, and if anyone could help you -” “Merrill?” _ Hawke was left in the Fade. Fenris goes looking for him. He doesn't go alone.

Entering the games is a bargain.

Salazar Slytherin has made his decision. There's only one thing left to worry about.

Nie Mingjue's mustache deserves to be classed as a spiritual tool. Or 5+1 times someone appreciated Nie Mingjue's facial hair for Reasons.

Lan Xichen's boyfriend comes over all the time, but he doesn't stay long. (Or, Wei Wuxian is the only one anyone knows who is comfortable showing himself in a dispensary. This leads to an obvious misunderstanding with big stoner Lan Xichen's straight-edge brother.) (Or: Lan Zhan finds out the fun way that he likes to fuck stoned.)

Under normal circumstances, he would have never thought of trying something like this, but his husband had run off his mouth while they were being intimate and it had made Lan Wangji very aware of a desire he had never known he had. It was something he had been unable to put out of his mind for over a week. The thought of it made his body warm and eager, and the images his mind conjured were more than enough to make him seek pleasure at odd times, to Wei Wuxian’s great delight. Tonight, he’d surprise him by making his words come true.

In the end, there isn’t much of a discussion. With the sabre spirit boiling in Mingjue’s blood, it has to be Huaisang. Huaisang has regular courses, has never actually been stabbed or tortured on the field of battle. They know their duty to the family. If Mingjue can’t risk a child, Huaisang will do it. But she's not doing it alone.

He blacks out, or something, because the next thing Varric knows he’s at his desk with Bran standing over him with a pinched look on his face. “I got a kid.” Bran’s face somehow pinches further. “Like, from a store?” Varric whacks his head against his desk. in which varric's saddled with a kid, and hawke tries not to get too attached

The words spill out of him before he can arrange them into something more coherent. “Anora, I think I might have a child.” (Or: in which Alistair Theirin realises he loves his wife.)

Some time ago, Nie Mingjue gave this gift to Huaisang. Now Huaisang has found a way for both of them to enjoy it in a new way and he can't wait to share. From the text: “I just want to try something, if you don't mind.” Nie Mingjue watches him retrieve a box from under the bed. He recognizes it, it contains something Nie Mingjue gifted to Nie Huaisang. And indeed, that's exactly what his brother extracts from the box. A sizable pale green jade dildo, shaped after his own member. He gave that to Nie Huaisang before their relationship evolved into this. He didn't explain at the time, what it was supposed to look like, but it became very clear the first time Nie Huaisang saw him erect. By then he had familiarized himself with that shape and that size, and was delighted by this discovery.

Defective suppressants and an unwanted heat—it’s Shen Yuan’s worst nightmare. The only solution? Hire a companion-alpha to help him through a tiring week of insatiable need. Sweet, anxious, and all too eager to please, Luo Binghe is not at all what he expects.

Proud Immortal Demon Way's fanfic selection is vast, terrible, and filled with things much worse written than the original work itself, and that's saying something. Shen Yuan was just enough of a masochist to willingly, after another stupid update where Luo Binghe has to papapa another sister for some ludicrous reason that doesn't even make any sense, decide to delve into that lurid cesspool of creative death and unbeta'd pornography far more explicit than anything Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky had ever written. Which is how he finds himself in a fanfic called Proud Immortal Demon's Milky Way.

Nie Mingjue has had a very shitty week. His brother concocts an elaborate scheme to help him relax.

“I dunno, I just—” Tony wrung his hands and dropped his head as tears began to well up, overwhelmed. “I don’t—” “Oh, baby boy,” Steve said. “Why didn’tcha come ‘ta me earlier?” Tony whimpered, frustrated. Steve sighed and began to unbuckle his pants. "Don't ya worry now," he promised, rucking up Tony's dress. "I give it ta you, promise."

After one scandal too many, Patrick Kane gets traded. Eventually it stops being the worst thing that's ever happened to him.

Geno is a beta. That doesn't mean he isn't the team's omega.

They met by accident, fate, Geno always says, three years ago.

The first time Geno sees Sidney Crosby he’s crying into Tanger’s shoulder as Sid learns how to walk again on the big screen.

Sid is asleep when Geno comes crashing into the bedroom. Sid had been sleeping the sleep of the post-hockey season depressed, so it takes a few minutes for him to realize Geno is speaking and seems to think Sid is listening. “Wait, what?” Sid says. He pushes himself up onto his elbows and squints at Geno. “What?” “I marry you, I become American, yeah?” Geno asks, waving his hands in the air. Sid’s arms give in and he flops back to the bed, getting a mouth full of pillow. Sid has no idea what Geno’s talking about. They have a marriage plan, but it’s definitely not a right-now plan, it’s a years-down-the-road plan. He turns over and frowns up at Geno. “I’m Canadian.” (a response to the recent 'outlawing gay' nonsense in St. Petersburg).

Geno is too injured to go to the 2017 All-Star Game, which would be bad enough if that wasn't also the weekend of Sidney's scheduled heat. Luckily, Alex Ovechkin is more than willing to help Sid through it.

McDavid sits back up. "Is this what your head is like all the time?" he demands. Jack shrugs. "Sometimes I think about hockey," he says.

This all felt so familiar to Justin. Inspired by it wrecks who it pleases by addandsubtract.

Nolan shouldn’t be excited. He really shouldn’t. Most guys who have been in the league for a while don’t treat it like a big deal. It sucks, sometimes, depending on the team you get sent to and whoever got first star for them, but Nolan’s already been told that the Stars are pretty decent. Still, nobody ever seems to look forward to being chosen, but that hadn’t stopped a thrill of excitement from zipping up Nolan’s spine when the Stars team rep had called his name.

Society is weird in that there’s not a lot of words for someone who you love and do a lot of dating-things with and are committed to but you’re not actually dating. OR: Five times people misunderstood Connor and Dylan's friendship, and one time someone didn't.

If Connor was a good person - if he was a Good Simple Boring Canadian Boy - he wouldn’t watch his best friend get fucked by his older brother.

When the lights come back on after the Pride Tape presentation and the boys start to stir, Connor looks at Ebs, sitting on the floor in front of him, and he says, without thinking, "Is this about me?" Everyone within earshot freezes.

Brandon kneels because it’s what he’s supposed to do. It’s part of being a rookie, it’s part of belonging, it’s part of hockey. So he kneels. (In which Brandon Saad falls in love. Twice.)

“That was so good,” Willie tells him, and he gets that heat in his stomach again. "You're so good."

[8:03 am] is it considered unpatriotic to lose your virginity to a russian hockey captain? asking for a friend

Dylan is his brother. Ryan loves him, and it’s ordinary. One slip doesn’t mean anything. The complicated dreams he’s had since the trip are rare. He has it under control.