Little gray aliens aren't people, no matter how well they fake it. They can be domesticated, though. Might as well keep them around, right?

Having an alien boyfriend is a little like an adventure and a little like a science experiment. Fortunately for you (and for your alien boyfriend), those are both things you really like.

"What gives?" he says then, as he shrugs his way out of the gi and you watch the changing shadows under his collarbone. "Some chump at this party still has a turtleneck on." "Yeah, well, some asshole around here doesn't know how to shut up and let himself be spoiled," you say. "Get in the goddamn tub, Strider."