He’s Dave motherfuckin’ Strider. He saved two—no, three, kind of—universes and has made out with aliens, okay? He has made time his bitch, died for his cause time and time again, and had an ultimate rap off with an Insane Clown Posse wannabe while the fucker was on a murder spree. He doesn’t give two shits what other people think of him.

Dorian can not believe this is happening. When he’d come down to join the Chargers for their evening drinks this time, rather than taking his usual seat next to Krem, his lover had grabbed him about the waist and pulled him into his lap. Dorian had flushed red and the Chargers had broken into a chorus of laughs and hoots. “This okay?” Krem murmurs the question into his ear when the hollering dies down. Dorian is still blushing but he nods. It’s not the first time they’ve done something like this, though he still can’t quite believe Krem wants this, pressed close to him in public, obviously affectionate, despite the watchful eyes of the tavern patrons.

"Yo. S'obvious our previous tricks aren't gonna work the same anymore, so let's open the floor to suggestions."

For an anon prompt on my Tumblr that I kind of hijacked: gai/obito tho, kakashi's utterly terrified of the two ever coming together. "I've met Gai, Kakashi, and guess what? I'm going /to befriend him/." "You wouldn't DARE, Obito." "Oh, I would. We're going to be best friends." Obito and Gai hit it off instantly, and it all goes downhill from there. Kakashi finds them making out once and it's so horrible. He's never going to get that image out of his mind.

Brienne looks like the perfect portrait of a knight, kneeling in supplication before her lady.

"It's okay! We're just seducing you for better grades!" Poor Karkat, accosted by jailbait. What a tragic life a TA leads.

(563): Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards.

“He’s pretty, isn’t he?” Mito asks thoughtfully.

For the prompt, "Alistair being consensually wrecked by men as a submissive/bottom." This prompt just will not leave me alone. I feel like this fic should be rated T, and yet, every time I try to pick that, it feels wrong, too. So...despite the prompt, not actually all that smutty.

“Oh my god,” Jiraiya says, staring up at the ceiling.

Rajan knows the difference in how both his wife and their lover kisses.

Wen Ning is a very good liar and an even better actor, Yanli will hand him that.

“Well,” Kit says lightly. “This does seem to be a predicament, doesn’t it?” Pressed right up against him, gauntlets digging bruises into his almost-bare hips, Dogma squeezes his eyes tightly shut. “I'm going to kill my whole squad,” he says, perfectly certain and resigned to it.

What if Kaz asked Jesper to help him get over his touch aversion, so he could be with Inej?

“Oh,” Jaster manages, and it cracks right in half.

Fox is tired of Granta disappearing every time they turn their backs, so this time he keeps Granta with him when he goes to his office to do flimsiwork.