Bizarre alien peace rituals, drunken debacles, Jim Kirk's pornography, the phrase 'bet your sweet ass' taken way too literally, bar fights, everyone's favorite Orion and super advanced sex toys of the future you wish you had now. A love story.

It's not all bad when Jim and Leonard awake in a strange room containing a large pool of water - until the tentacles start appearing.

Jim wants to ride that (and by "that" he means "Spock's dick") into the sunset

Spock met Jim when he was 7 and Jim was 6. It has since been generally agreed that this was a mistake (or: the one where they grow up together and things are simultaneously better and worse for it).

On an exploration mission to Elissinar IV, Kirk talks Sulu into letting Dirandae, one of the President's aides, take them back to her room to "look at a plant". It turns out the Elissinar have entirely different sexual organs from Terrans. Hey, exploration missions can be fun!

Winona is called to fix the cock-up of the Yorktown's engines. She uses one of the science-bitches to help her do it. & This is not exactly what Jim thought the 'exploring strange new worlds and exotic civilizations' was about. Also, Vulcans are kind of crazy. Jim and Spock go through a alien ritual, which, yes, changes everything -- he's hoping for the better. Spock just wants to get through this with his sanity, if not his dignity, mostly intact.

Spock is pretty much doomed the minute Jane realizes that the fatshirt is incredibly slutty, and also regulation.

"Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week."

What it says on the tin. (Including Follow-ups to: Maybe one of these days you can let the light in, and One Of Those Things, and Mrs and Mr Pond..)

Two hundred years ago the Winchesters stopped the apocalypse. Now, instead of getting into fights and running amok, eighteen year old Jim Kirk goes to live with his Auntie Sam and learns the family business. Four years later, an angel shows up.

Mutants have been extinct since the Eugenics War. But then, Jim's the exception to everything.

Snippets from lives that Willow's activation spell (could have) irrevocably changed. Drabble collection.

Winona is called to fix the cock-up of the Yorktown's engines. She uses one of the science-bitches to help her do it.

Kirk finds out who everyone thinks is the hottest member of the Enterprise crew.

Just your every day modern street gang of ragamuffins.

Five times Winona Kirk was a badass mom, and one time she realized she’d raised an equally badass son.

"The Enterprise’s newest security officer reports aboard."

"His life's a fucking space opera. And not even the erotic type that airs on New HBO. No, it's the animated comic type where the captain goes splat against the wall every episode and the pointy-eared bastard quirks his pointy eyebrow and steps on the captain's flattened remains."

Three years after the events of The Fast and the Furious (but with spaceships!) Brian's happy with his new family and life. Until he bumps into the last people that he wants to see.

The humans are likely taking care of the conversations. Gaila and Kori can attend to much more pleasant diplomatic endeavors.

Your name is Dave Strider and your universe is DEAD. You have to find a safe place for your nubby-horned, alien companion in the DEPTHS OF SPACE. Under normal circumstances, you would be deader than your old universe, but you're no longer a MERE HUMAN, having ascended to god tier. The troll has not, but it helps that you hitch a ride on a FANCY SPACESHIP. All you need to do is find your MISSING FRIENDS and you are golden. >>AU after the scratch. USS Enterprise [UE] began texting turntechGodhead [TG] at ??? UE: Hello. This is Captain James T. Kirk of the starship USS Enterprise. We are on a peaceful mission of exploration. UE: My communications officer picked up an odd signal from this location. Can we offer any assistance? --Now with FANART--

For a prompt on my Tumblr: TOS!Sannin. Tsunade McCoy the grumpy, compassionate alcoholic with a heart of gold, Jiraiya Kirk the cocky and intelligent leader and womaniser, and finally, S'chan T'gai Orochimaru, the 'non-emotional' genius scientist with a not-so-hidden soft, gooey emotional centre.

Jim has a couple different lies he likes to tell about how he got his Jolteon, depending on his audience.

Sometimes the other Vulcans wonder how Spock managed to obtain such an exotic bondmate, and sometimes Spock wonders himself.

Prompt from the Star Trek XI Kink Meme on lj. Prompt: K/S. So, this idea kind of hit me out of nowhere. Pretty much following the tradition of aliens-made-them-do-it [only kind of inverted], in which Kirk and Spock end up at a planet where they are not allowed to touch each other [due to religious issues, politeness protocol, whatever]. Summary: Anticipation was not an emotion Spock had intended to allow himself to feel; yet, it made itself known despite him, and that it was never satisfied made it harder to suppress, each time the Captain walked past or stood near and conscientiously avoided even the brush of their sleeves.

Turns out Jim Kirk's more than meets the eye, genetically speaking. There are a lot of consequences, mostly for Spock and his sanity.

"'Spock,' Jim breathes out, completely overwhelmed by the gesture—not quite believing that Spock knows him so well, that's he's already started researching, that he trusts Jim with a member of his own endangered species." When Jim gets it in his head to adopt an eight year old Vulcan, Spock presents a logical solution to the issue of Jim's humanity: marriage to a Vulcan citizen.

It really does take a village to raise a Jim. The members of the Kelvin's crew watch over Jim as much as he lets them.

A collection of meta and tumblr musings on the headcanon that all other species in the galaxy think earthlings are impulsive weirdos with a penchant for destruction and weird talent for techno-space-magic BUT IN PODFIC FORM.

Spock was able, at any given moment, to understand at least 50% of whatever it was Montgomery Scott was doing at any given moment.

Turns out Jim Kirk's more than meets the eye, genetically speaking. There are a lot of consequences, mostly for Spock and his sanity.

You were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles and my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet" and I was crying on a staircase, begging you, "Please don't go."

Tony Stark resigned his commission in Starfleet five years ago, after a disastrous away mission, and he swore he'd never go back. He just wants to be left alone to build warp engines in peace. But the universe has more in store for him than that, as he discovers when Admiral Fury comes to him with an offer he could never have expected and cannot possibly refuse: first officer and chief engineer aboard the all-new USS Avenger, a starship of Tony's own design. What's more, the Avenger's captain is Steve Rogers, hero of the Earth-Romulan War. Believed dead for over a century, Steve is miraculously alive... and very, very attractive. But nothing is ever easy for Tony. As he wrestles with his secret desire for his new captain and his not-so-dormant fears, another mission starts to go wrong, and Tony becomes aware that Steve has secrets of his own -- and the truth could change everything.

"Seriously. How does this not bother you," Alec said, staring at the mirror as he tugged the hem of his primary-colored overtunic into place.

The new second officer is cute, alright? Geno can’t be blamed for taking one look at him across the crew’s mess, and deciding then and there that he was going to get to know Commander Crosby.