"I can be anyone you want," He'd said, a little too quickly, a little too flatly. "I can be anything you want-" It was, Hawkeye decided, the least enthusiastic proposition she had ever received.

Havoc's first encounter with the little Elrics. Havoc had been looking forward to meeting the Elric brothers, but he’d been looking forward to it while thinking he’d have the whole office as a buffer. He hadn’t thought he’d have them all to himself in a car for half an hour in traffic. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Overjoyed was not the word.

Alicia liked to pretend she had an Invisible Daddy.

Roy is losing track of his dates, and Edward's travels are what grounds him.

After Ed has to kill he has to deal with having killed and Roy has to deal with him. Divergent Future, Drama With Porn, faint spoiler ep 25.

"Is this your first time?" Olivier has never slept with a virgin.

Where the loss of ignorance is more valuable than the knowledge gained, and Edward figures out the source of alchemy a lot sooner than before. "Edward has cockroaches under his skin and leeches in his veins. He's vibrating and bursting and his body is too small, too big, doesn't fit quite right. He needs Al to know - needs to tell someone, anyone, but he will cut out his own tongue before he burdens anyone else with this knowledge."

Ed loses his virginity, and then his inhibitions. Roy loses his mind.

Everyone's born with their soulmate's first words to them written on their skin, and that should make things easy, but it really doesn't. "Roy has alternatively despised his mark and clung to it like a lifeline. Colonel. Just one word, right at the back of his foot. His literal Achilles’ heel."

Bleeding freely doesn't seem to inhibit Roy's talent for driving Ed insane.

Colonel Mustang's company receives a distress call -- coming from Alphonse Elric's AI.

Ed and Roy are going to get married. At least theoretically speaking… [AU after Brotherhood with major spoilers.]

"It has been brought to my attention that I want to have sex with you," Ed said aggressively.

Every time Edward sees the circle on the back Mustang's hand, he wants to scream, wants to reach across the desk and shake him, wants to wrap his hands around the older man's throat and ask if it was worth it, if this desk and his rank is worth the screaming, crying, writhing, burning bodies of his people - "Something to say, Fullmetal?" Mustang drawls. Edward snaps the file shut, "Nope."

“You’ve heard the rumors,” Mustang says, looking at Ed over the top of his latest report, “about the angels.” Ed scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Angels don’t exist, don’t be ridiculous.” “Of course, of course,” he murmurs, gaze sliding back down, “There have been multiple eye witness accounts, however.” Ed slouches into the chair and doesn’t bother to keep the contempt to from his voice when he says, “Don’t depend on anything with wings to save you. Things that were made to leave always end up doing so, in the end.” “Yes, well,” he says, “sometimes they come back.”

Edward grabs Marcoh’s arm and says, “That stone – what can it heal, exactly?” The old man’s eyebrows rise to his forehead, and he looks like he already knows the answer when he goes, “Why do you ask, Edward?” There's no metallic footsteps so there’s no way Al’s close enough to hear them. “I’m sick,” he admits after another moment of deliberation.

Maes wakes up in the Elemental Countries after his death, and promptly gets into trouble. Genma gets him out of it.

The irresistible troll vs. the immovable hothead - fight!

FMA best case scenario. But the Elrics, even at peace and completely happy in themselves, are still kind of alarming to bystanders.

Once Edward became legal, the number of office outings to the pub went up exponentially. Possibly this was because Edward was really fun to take to a pub.

Everyone is born with the ability to only see the colour of their soulmate's eyes. Only upon touching their soulmate, can people see the rest of the world's colours. Edward Elric will do whatever it takes to get his brother's body back and ensure he can have his happily ever after with his soulmate, even if it means never finding his own soulmate.

Trisha and Van's first child, Edith, was born a beautiful, healthy girl. The only problem? Ed knew he was a boy.

Unwillingly forced to serve as a human trial for a crazy alchemist experimenting with time travel, Edward Elric finds himself standing across from Truth in the moment it takes his leg from him. Armed with the knowledge of what's to come and burdened with guilt for the choices he'd made as an adult, Ed sets out to fix every mistake he ever made and save every life they ever lost, no matter what it takes.

Roy growing up with Madame Christmas means he grew up in a brothel. Explains a lot.

Ed's stupid mark is long, long gone, but it's not like he has time to care.

Riza takes such immense joy in ruining Roy's life that he can't even bring himself to begrudge her.

Roy gets significantly more than he bargained for with a pair of gold-eyed prostitutes.

Greed is definitely not where he used to be, and the fact that he’s alive was a big clue there. Not like there’s been any research done on what happens to a Homunculus when they die, but Greed had rather been expecting nonexistence. “Well, fuck,” he says, and hopes that Father’s end was as painful as Edward’s imagination could make it.

Everyone is born with the ability to only see the colour of their soulmate's eyes. Only upon touching their soulmate, can people see the rest of the world's colours. Edward Elric will do whatever it takes to get his brother's body back and ensure he can have his happily ever after with his soulmate, even if it means never finding his own soulmate.

Edward grabs Marcoh’s arm and says, “That stone – what can it heal, exactly?” The old man’s eyebrows rise to his forehead, and he looks like he already knows the answer when he goes, “Why do you ask, Edward?” There's no metallic footsteps so there’s no way Al’s close enough to hear them. “I’m sick,” he admits after another moment of deliberation.

Edward, Tobirama, some accidental dimension travel, and questions of methodology. Plus snark.

In a world where soulmates can feel the other's pain, being Edward Elric's comes with a whole host of problems.

The Akatsuki are hired to separate a certain prince from a certain homonculus. It doesn't go quite as planned for anyone involved.

West City Councilor Bertram will never forgive the State Alchemists for their part in the Promised Day Incident that nearly destroyed the country, especially the Flame Alchemist. He has a plan to put the alchemists in their place once and for all, and he's going to use their own art to do it. Meanwhile, Ed is just passing through West City on his way to meet up with his brother. But of course, Ed could never stay out of trouble for very long.

Slice of life, only the lives are Ed Elric's and Roy Mustang's. Politics. Violence. Stupidity. A lot of animals. True love(?). And of course like 4 separate instances of fake dating

Ed doesn't know how he got himself into this situation. And by situation, he means dancing the lead role in a ballet he barely knows.

I like to daydream about Mustang and Ed's stupid adventures in diplomacy after they've taken control of the country. Emphasis on stupid. Ed is trans because 1) because and 2) silentwalrus' headcanons have seeped into the groundwater at this point.

Roy - thanks to a series of events going exponentially FUBAR - is in Dazhen. He wasn’t due back for another three months, but given that he wasn’t supposed to become a fucking vampire for another eighteen or so either, it’s safe to say that scheduling concerns are not his first priority.

Esdras Al-Ridha is born in 1899, in his mother’s family home. His birth certificate, when it’s written a month later by Dr. Yuriy Rockbell, will declare his name Edward Elric. It will name his mother Trisha, and it will say nothing of her white hair. It will say nothing of the blue desert sky he first opens his eyes under, the way he is passed to relative after relative and is held and blessed by each. (Even before the war, tensions are high, and hatred is brewing. Tirzah holds her newborn son, with eyes as gold as his father’s, and pale-sun hair halfway there, and she decides that if Ishvala wants him hidden, then Tirzah will not brand him where his genes have not.)

In which Midoriya Inko happens to be the reincarnation of one Izumi Curtis- and the world will never be the same.

In which Yuri Plisetsky began life with the name Edward Elric, and this has made the world of figure skating a significantly stranger and more alarming place. “Are you saying you lived a life of crime before you began skating?” “I’m gonna have to check the statute of limitations on a couple things and get back to you on that.”

Something explodes on Promised Day.

Sabo and Koala visit Amestris and take back a souvenir which is fortunate because Ace really needs all the help he can get after his brush with Akainu. Or Ace becomes a merman because of reasons.