“TMZ has enough fun spreading rumors about just the two of us; just think of all the trouble they could cause if they knew I’d invited over all your superhero friends to fuck you until you scream.”

Steve's fairly certain that he should find his current situation stranger than he does. He's still surprised, of course, and a little embarrassed, to find himself sitting with two highly trained assassins and an extraterrestrial who lends his name to a weekday while one of the world's greatest scientific minds purrs seductively to another about how they're all going to take turns fucking his ass, but not nearly as much as he'd have anticipated.

Bizarre alien peace rituals, drunken debacles, Jim Kirk's pornography, the phrase 'bet your sweet ass' taken way too literally, bar fights, everyone's favorite Orion and super advanced sex toys of the future you wish you had now. A love story.

Raleigh is loud as fuck during sex. Mako probably isn't, but maybe Chuck just can't hear her over Raleigh's caterwauling. And Chuck… is not as unaffected by that as he wants to be.

It starts out ironically, of course, but by the time Dave's wearing a corset and a swanky evening dress and Terezi's in a three-piece suit, Jade wants nothing more than to get them both into bed as soon as possible.

Care and fucking of your lispy bipolar nerd.

Rule number one: Never take your eyes off the Mist. The Tenth is the only reason it works, and that's because Tsuna doesn't know how to give up on anything. Or anyone. And when it's the Tenth asking, somehow everyone just seems to end up going along with it one way or another in the end.

Sometimes it's really difficult to figure out what Mukuro-sama actually wants.

Short fics originally posted to my Tumblr, edited and collected here.

Mingjue’s thumbs stroke gently against the wings of his shoulders as he leans in, setting his mouth to Jiang Cheng’s ear. “Qingqing wants this, too. All three of us. You, me, her.” A shudder runs down Jiang Cheng’s spine; he’s dizzy, breath coming too fast, and he’s shamefully hard just from this, his erection trapped against the edge of the sink. “Would you like that, Cheng-di? It’s fine if you don’t, but if you do –” “Yes.” The word rasps out of him, echo-y and desperate. “I want that.”

Isabela is the last person Cullen expected to see in Skyhold, but since she's here, they might as well get re-acquainted.