With their anniversary drawing close, Parker learns about the birthday of sex, finds an apprentice and stumbles into a job for the team. Also wherein Eliot is growly and awesome, Alec is a genius, Sophie is the fastest con in the west… or anywhere, and Nate puts up with all of them. ** Winner of Best Case Fic 2011 Fulcrum Award **

There’s a small child in Tony Stark’s lab. Tony looks at it. It looks at him.

Tony offers Bruce something he hasn't had in a long time and then slowly includes the rest of the Avengers.

Fury temples his fingers together. “Tell me how this started?” Phil tries to give a reasonable report of today's incident. As he spent most of his day trying to keep grade-school aged versions of his team away from a team of gunmen, he has only limited success.

Tony Stark has faced kidnappers before. He may only be four years old, but his new friends are strong and brave, and together they can take on any monster…even the ones that come from within. And oddly enough, this is not an AU. Coulson probably wishes it were.

It's Go Time!

Despite all appearances, Loki was quite good with children. Mostly his own, but other children too. Even if their parents disapproved. Crack one-shot, Avenger!Loki/Norse!Loki, no pairings. Complete.

When he was younger, Clint wished really hard for someone. They could be on the road to anywhere and they invariably are. Clint's fingers rest on Coulson's and, like the trapeze or the bowstring, he has learned the value of grip and he doesn't leave bloody fingerprints anymore.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not my father.”

"They're not going to bite, you know," She drawled without even turning to look at him, as she forced a sausage-like Harleybertian leg in a leg-hole. She was smirking, though, he could tell from her voice. "Or projectile venom. Hell, even vomit wouldn't get that far." Prequel to Battlefield Terra. 3 000 words of Mr. Strider meeting his newborn clonebabies for the first time. Also features Doc Lalonde.

You have to put him in school, and if you weren't busy trying to make money to keep a roof over his head in this world where neither of you belong, you would be all about home schooling. You have to prepare him for the game. You only got eight years left.

Aradia had always thought seadwellers were all nasty, ruthless, terrible monsters who abused their place on the hemospectrum. After an encounter with the Heiress herself, she realizes that maybe not all seadwellers are bad after all.

The first time you pass by the troll in the box you kind of try not to see it. It's gross as fuck when people do this. You guess maybe it's better than driving them out into the country and dumping them to make it on their own, or those stories you've heard about people dumping unwanted wrigglers in sacks into rivers--those you try not to think about because fuck, that is not okay on any level but it's not like you can do shit about it.

On the meteor, Rose, Dave, Kanaya, Terezi, and Karkat find themselves passing through a series of hooked-together dreambubbles inhabited by some utterly inexplicable grubs. Grubs that squeak and fuss and cling and chew holes in their clothes. Grubs who resemble to a distressing extent trolls whom the meteor-dwellers killed or were killed by, but essentially grubs who need someone to see to them, even in dreambubbles out of time.

Ex-military Eridan Ampora has an honorable discharge hanging on his wall, dreams of battlefields that haunt him around every turn and a pair of trolls who scurry around his house and snoop in his things when they think he isn't looking while they wait for their own scars to fade. Somehow, he thinks that that's enough. Inspired by Unwanted Free Ugly Troll.

Karkat thought he knew what he was getting into, when he agreed to help Kanaya and Jade resurrect the troll race. He didn't count on the resurrected troll race including a handful of bright red grubs.

Five times the Avengers pawned kids off on the Jean Grey School.

"We'll make this work somehow, sweetheart, won't we?" he said, swaying back and forth a bit as it warmed up. It probably made him look stupid, but he'd discovered there were a lot of stupid-looking things he'd do to keep his baby girl happy.

Sidney is starting to get a reputation amongst the Pens for being the go-to guy for free childcare. Or, five times Sidney babysat and one time someone babysat for him.

Claude gets a new car. Cameron doesn't like it.

“People who want to eat my grilled cheese for dinner should learn not to interrupt the delicate purchasing process with their unwelcome mockery,” Claude says. Danny and Claude move to Berlin. Nothing really changes, until everything does.

"Today is Scott's first day of kindergarten and Derek is terrified."

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

She passes it down, from mother to child, from father to child, until it ends up in his hands. The story and the cloak just as they where the day they were made.

This wasn't supposed to happen. In the lists of things Brent wasn't expecting, this is at least third on the list, after 'being able to talk to animals' and 'growing wings' (but before 'zombie apocalypse').

The first girl Sid ever falls in love with is named Rachel Forbes. When he first meets her, she’s four weeks old, pink, and squishy-looking. Objectively, she’s kind of ugly, but she’s so tiny when he sees her in the incubator at NICU, and he’s never seen a baby that small.

Kaner's looking down at the kid, though, frowning. He crouches down. "Hey, kid, where are your parents?" The kid's bottom lip juts out and starts wobbling. Fuck, that means he's going to start crying, right? "Oh shi—oot, kid, don't cry," Kaner says. "I mean, if you don't know where they are, we can find 'em?" "Kaner," Sharpy presses. "That's Saad."

Scott leaves for ten years and comes back.

Spock met Jim when he was 7 and Jim was 6. It has since been generally agreed that this was a mistake (or: the one where they grow up together and things are simultaneously better and worse for it).

“So you were already with the boy you saved when the fire started?” Patrick pauses, but shakes his head. “No, there was an explosion—I don’t really know what it was, but then it was just me and Tigre, and it’s like, in a situation like that, you don’t really think? You just do. So I grabbed the kid and went through the fire escape. It’s not like I decided I wanted to save anybody, it was just the only option.”

The one person Geno wants to build a family with already has one.

Clint wants to give his kid the world. Isobel's not complicated; she'll settle for a couple of superheroes and a train set.

Stiles' kid has a tendency to get into fights and possibly has bad taste in friends. Or enemies. Stiles isn't sure yet, but he's pretty sure the other kid's dad is too hot to be human.

Every year I do a post of all the bits of fic I couldn't find a place for. Some stand alone pretty well; most are just starts I don't have the interest or energy to finish.

Jack would just like to take the time to remind everyone to hang onto their weapon of choice when accidentally going through the experimental snow globe, because otherwise you'll end up who knows where without a staff and only snowballs to help you. Or: Jack doesn't know where he is, he sure doesn't speak the language, and he just knows talking to those giant rabbits will go badly. The little one, however... That works out just fine. Series

Abed finds a little bundle of joy on his doorstep. A montage happens.

The group gets an assignment and Abed gets a clue

Abed finds a little bundle of joy on his doorstep. A montage happens.

Batman is very happy with the way that Robin has picked up his training, his methods and his habits. Generally. But his protege showing up at the Batcave with two small children, Tim and Jason, clinging to him proves he's adopted one trait Batman would have rather he hadn't. It seems the batfamily has an incurable penchant for picking up strays, and Tim and Jason are only the beginning.

Good morning, Gotham! Do I ever have some juicy gossip to share with you today! You will never believe what the Waynes have been up to now!

Geno’s been running away for years, from the scandal in Magnitogorsk, from any chance of getting his heart broken again. He’s working as a bouncer in Pittsburgh when he meets Sidney Crosby—hockey phenom, single dad, looking for someone to handle personal security for his little girl.

What if Castiel had taken a different vessel?

What it says on the tin. (Including Follow-ups to: Maybe one of these days you can let the light in, and One Of Those Things, and Mrs and Mr Pond..)

One rainy afternoon Tony gets home to find a wet-haired child in an over-sized bathrobe sitting on the penthouse couch, watching cartoons. “Um, what,” says Tony. “Oh, hey,” Harley says, noticing him. “JARVIS showed me where to go. He told me to leave my clothes in the bathroom so they could dry, and said I could borrow one of your bathrobes. You have a really big TV, you know that?”

It turns out that when you're almost constantly on the move, monitoring your birth control can prove to be challenging. It could happen to anyone, right? (Begins after the end of Fast Five, no spoilers for Fast and Furious Six.)

Eight-year-old Sasuke is a broken soul. Eight-year-old Naruto is a hated demon-carrier. Eight-year-old Sakura is a bright girl whose parents are killed unexpectedly in a house fire. They meet as three orphans desperate to become the strongest of ninja and in the process find a new family.

Genma is a very good assassin. He takes a job, takes a life, comes home, repeats. Then one day a stray genin shows up on his doorstep. And then another. Lonely assassin? Not so much. Try resident shinobi den mother. [In which Genma is a (very manly) mother hen, his apartment attracts strays, and all of his (bastard) friends are quite amused.]

Stiles gets kidnapped by crazy hunters. It's super.

They find the baby under a butterfly bush, a sweet smelling buddleja with purple flowers and narrow, green leaves. The baby is dirty, wet and hungry, wrapped in a fur blanket, and this close its squalling is loud enough to wake the dead. -- Or the one where Stiles' mom was a harpy and passed certain genes along.

Written for a kmeme prompt. Cullen is raising a baby alone through the events of DA:I, Dorian is more help than he expects. Slow burn.