"So what's the problem?" Elizabeth asked. "They won't talk to us unless we sing first," John said.

Scorpius has a stutter. Al has a way with words. Draco discovers their unlikely relationship.

Unorthodox Methods: "AU from original premise of SPN – Sam goes to law school and eventually joins the FBI, where he gets assigned as Peter’s probie, and the New York FBI office staff are amused, and eventually, slightly traumatized." pockets full of stones: "This is a trick." my favorite view: "The one where Jon is a fetish photographer." It Is Written (aka The Brave Knight Saves the Handsome Prince From a Fate Moste Untenable): "Fairy-tale AU, wherein Kris is a knight, and Adam is... a unicorn." How Becky Totally Saved the World Without Becoming a Mary Sue or: PLEASE R&R OR I'LL NEVER WRITE: "The upside of living with a prophet was the fanfic. And the forewarning of the apocalypse. But, mostly the fic." A Sam Adams Moment: "The clutch of seven ZPMs they find on Dedahr's rocky third moon results, in rough chronological order, in a brief fainting fit on Rodney's part; a message back to Atlantis that creates near hysteria amongst its scientists and startles a truly blasphemous exclamation in Czech out of Zelenka; a fully-powered city whose midnight glow is refracted through its shields; five destroyed hive ships and one very raucous, ruus-wine fuelled celebration; wormhole travel back to Earth, which is soon protected once more by the Ancient weapons platform in Antarctica; and the IOC declaring that the expedition's brief can be expanded from defence to broader exploration."

As good as you get: "The problem was, really, Kris Allen was a tease." If You Can't See Where It Keeps Its Brain: "The Sorting Hat has its own agenda." I Woke Up In Love This Morning: He was hazy, half-asleep and incredibly comfortable and still half-lost in the most amazing dream. Five Reasons Xander Harris Hates Pete Wentz: If the Bandom'verse and the Buffy'verse all occupied the same 'verse, this is exactly what would have happened. red, red, gold: "Her name is Tasha Stark, and you won’t break her."

You know how at the end of High School Musical you found yourself thinking 'You know, someone really needs to write a Supernatural bodyswap crossover with this'? Wait, you didn't?

Of course, because the powers that be seem bent on making their lives a living hell, the city's entire power grid goes out the third day they've moved in.

Title: Learning Each Other (Got a lot to learn) Summary: "Karkat," you say, because it feels amazing but you can't help yourself, "is that an octopus in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" "That is the stupidest pickup line in either of our universes," Karkat says, his face gray-red and his pupils huge, "and I dare you to find out." Title: Tomb Raiders Summary: Faint heart never won fair lady, you think. Or fair gentleman either. "If you're going to kiss me," you say, "now would be an excellent time." Title: Dirk: Take Charge Summary: You're going to leave the toybox in the closet tonight, because you are fairly certain that you can ruin him six ways to Sunday without even a pair of fuzzy handcuffs to back you up, and you really don't want to give the poor guy an aneurysm or something. Humanstuck, aged-up characters, dom/sub, ssc, being STRONG is sexy, porn battle, Title: Strength of Character Summary: Polite, a natural leader, and unusually strong. John is certainly a human worth paying further attention to.

Mikey needs a date for a work event. Gerard steps in.

Come Now, We're Children (Let's Play A Game): He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one. Totally Not A Meet-Cute: "Gerard has had a crush on Train Guy for a while, but just going up and talking to him would be weird. He needs a reason, right?" In the Belly Of: "Because space whales…fish…are a thing. In multiple universes. (Look, Todd asked and I said Okay, and this is what happened. I don’t know either.)" Turn Your Head: "Written for the genderplay square at kink_bingo's April 2012 "gift baskets" challenge." Apple Bottom Jeans (And Other Love Songs): "Or, how Steve Rogers--kind of--learns to dance."

When you've always known you like girls, it's easy to grow up believing you were really meant to be a boy. After all, that's the way the world works, isn't it? Boys like girls. Girls like boys. If you like girls, you must be a boy, especially if you were born with the bits boys have.

"Dude," Jackson said, and Danny stopped what he was doing, because when Jackson started sentences with 'dude', he was either about to share something deeply personal or about to try and get them expelled for excessive pussy jokes, and Danny had problems with both of those options.

AU. It's not exactly that Lydia wants to set Danny up with her high school friend, it's more that she doesn't want to deal with him, and she'd rather make Danny do it.

On Saturday, Parker – or Alice – meets Peggy for coffee. The whole coffee part of the thing is an ordeal: entering the building by the front door, standing in the line with all the other customers, ordering a drink and sitting down without even having the pretext of scoping the place out for potential thievery.

Chris is tired of pretending she plays for the other team. It doesn't help matters that she has a hot best friend.

This is a zombie-fied version of the fairy tale, and it's amazing! *flails* I really recommend it if you like rewritten versions of fairy tales and/or zombies.

So, things happen when iphignia939 and I talk. Sometimes these things involve puppets. Other times they involve sex-slave collecting evil twins from alternate dimensions (what? is that unusual to talk about?). More often than not, it ends up involving Pete and Patrick... and sex. Tonight we started talking about the bad drinks and sex bathroom at Angels & Kings and some how ended up with this.

Eliot cooks. Alec likes it.

OKAY OBVIOUSLY I COULD NOT RESIST THIS:

Finn helping Puck get his act together with Kurt

Frank bemoans the fact that the Way brothers are motherfucking cockteases. Gerard is VERY VERY SINCERE. Mikey shrugs. Often. Pete just needs a profound deep dicking. Frank can maybe help him out with that.

There is something dangerous inside of Q.

All Our Exploring: "We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot, Little Gidding. sometimes i feel: "I think I've missed a crucial turn in this conversation," Stiles says, practically into Scott's mouth because holy shit they are so so close now what is this, is this real. in a shower of: jonny washes patrick's hair; patrick doesn't hate it. Keep an Open Mind: They’ve had this connection for nearly as long as they’ve known each other; Patrick doesn’t know why it happened, what made it so that out of all the people in the world, it’s Johnny and only Johnny whose thoughts he can read, but there it is. One day it was just Patrick in his head, and the next, he’d woken up with the background awareness of Johnny in there too, and a panicked, thumping voice saying, Oh, shit. You too? Strange Days: "I don't want to talk to Deaton. I don't want to be another supernatural problem to be dealt with." No Business Like Show Business: In which Merlin is promoted from production intern to talent, is easily mortified, and has Post-It arguments with Arthur while the art department watches in glee. Also, there are gay dragons. Gone to the Dogs: Jonathan Toews turns into a puppy. Then some other stuff happens. what i'm saying is i need you here: Pat’s been carrying around these feelings for Johnny like an extra limb for years, now. It sucks, a little bit, but mostly it’s not too bad. Sometimes it blindsides her, though, like when the lockout ends and she comes back home. The Law of Conservation of Pants: Or, Five Things Darcy Lewis Thought She Knew Before She Met the Avengers (And One Thing That Will Always Be True). In which Darcy is put in charge of Social Media relations for the Avengers and finds that 5/6th of them challenge the things she thought she believed.

"When Tony is pinned down, armourless, in a workshop during an assault on Stark/Avengers Tower, Clint is meant to be the cavalry. When he arrives, though, he finds that the enemy may have picked the wrong workshop to try and take Tony in. JARVIS, it turns out, really doesn't take prisoners. Author's Note: Clint and Tony, Tony and his babies, basically. Came out ... rather darker and more violent than I anticipated -_-; No, seriously. VIOLENT."

The first thing Merlin Emrys thought when he was born, was "Oh, hell no."

"The SHIELD interceptor spaceship Avenger is under final attack. Aboard her, sitting in his cell, the war criminal Tony Stark gets ready for the confrontation, and the revelation, that he knows is about to come. Roughly 6000 words of a random Space Opera AU."

It all starts with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pez dispenser.

Darcy instructs Steve in the finer points of safer sex. The conversation doesn't go exactly the way she expected.

"When Tony Stark was seventeen years old, he built his first AI. On that day, he ceased to be his father's creation, and became a creating force in his own right. That one act likely saved his life, and not always in the most obvious ways."

Brian has hidden his submissive orientation most of his life out of necessity more than desire and he's been fine. Really. Until he meets Dominic Toretto then fine doesn't really fit the situation anymore. A BDSM-universe AU of The Fast and the Furious.

"Stiles’ first memory of his mom is green. Her green eyes, her green dresses, her green scarves, her green blouses and her green barrettes."

"When Kon gets hit with sex pollen, all he wants is Tim."

Eren can fill the bathtub with his blood twice before he passes out.

After Ed has to kill he has to deal with having killed and Roy has to deal with him. Divergent Future, Drama With Porn, faint spoiler ep 25.

He's been a child and an adult, a Kokiri and a Hylian, a Deku, a Zora, and a Goron, been a giant and been tiny, been mortal and been a god, and all he's ever wanted to be is himself.

In a world where the first words your soulmate will say to you appear on your left wrist at your tenth birthday, Peter gets the short end of the stick.

Five times Angie heard noises coming from Peggy's apartment and the one time she caused them.

"The one where American-born, Russian based swimmer Bucky Barnes is Steve Roger's number one rival for Olympic gold. In which Steve and Bucky are good friends despite the media's attempt at rivalry beat up and Steve has a lot of feelings."

"Prompt: Caine expected the sex and to do what he's told and to like it. He didn't expect to be taken care of and cuddled and thanked afterwards too."

PWP walks into a bar...

Kon is bored easily, and Tim is skittish.

Mulan survives the avalanche, but the wrong people find her. Written for the Disney Kink Meme.

Esther is the motherfucking queen of Persia and also better than you. Get ready to Megillah like it's 5776.

The spider's web: She finds an innocuous corner in which to spin her web. The longer the web takes, the more fabulous its construction. She has no need to chase. She sits quietly, her patience a consummate force; she waits for her prey to come to her on their own, and then she ensnares them, injects them with venom, rendering them unable to escape. --- Donna Hope

The Avengers discover that there are fans who write explicit RPF fic about them. Some of them are very confused. Some are proud. Some don't understand why everyone writes the pairings who aren't together but hardly anyone writes the couple who actually is together. Much silliness ensues.

Leia glided closer, brushing Luke’s hair out of his face, then leaning in. “Both of us,” she whispered, and then kissed him firmly. Han could feel Luke let go of all the tension in his body all at once. If he had stopped holding him up, Luke would have simply dropped to the floor.

Eliot watches, fascinated, as Hardison brings the joint to his lips and inhales, making the lit end burn bright and cherry-red for several long seconds.