“Adam knows that sometimes, life surprises you with irony. And sometimes, life bitch-slaps you with it.”

This fic should cover numerous prompts from The Losers_Fans Prompt Party including wanting DrunkFlirt!Jensen, wanting Cougar cheating at cards, wanting a drunken BJ with a side of kink and emotional issues, and a request for Cougar's deliberate sabotage of Jensen's attempts to pick up women. There might be more, that post is a very bad influence.

Dick's been waiting seven years to stick his tongue down Wally's throat, but now he's got a plan. Sort of.

Stiles and Lydia never should have become friends, for Derek’s sake.

In which there are parties, awkwardness and orgasms.

For Wally's 21st birthday, they play spin the bottle.

The Iron Bull is a firefighter with scars and history to spare. Dorian keeps setting things on fire- like curtains, and dates. Or, the one where two messed up people find each other, Solas is a righteous avenger, Cullen really needs to stop online dating, and everyone gets a happy ending but not without some pain to go with it.

Five times Iron Bull had to carry Dorian and one time Dorian tried to carry Bull, gave up, and levitated him instead.

Pete is a divorced Elvis impersonator at a Las Vegas wedding chapel, who’s stopped believing in happy endings. Patrick hasn’t, but then again, he’s there to marry Bob.

Anders: So, there must be mages in Tevinter that don't use blood magic. Fenris: Of course. There are slaves. The magisters do not hesitate to collar their own kind. --- Or, the one where Danarius finds out about the blood magic ritual his long time enemy Halward Pavus is planning and things go even worse for Dorian.

The grainy cellphone photo on the cover of the magazine is of his own back, his red Samwell t-shirt. He's got a forearm braced on the wall, his other hand holding the face of someone small and blond, mostly blocked from view, who has his hands on Jack's chest and a blue hoodie tied around his waist. Emblazoned across the bottom of the cover are the words IS JACK ZIMMERMANN GAY? and it feels like someone just punched him in the stomach.

Either way, there was someone or something to blame for the fact that Jack ended up sending Connor Fucking McDavid a dick pic. Perhaps it was the universe as a whole.

“I didn’t even have my dick out, what’re you freaking about,” Tom says, which is probably not the best way to ease his roommate into his sexual proclivities.

"That's a nasty cough you've got there, Dabi," Toga says pointedly. Disgusting as it is, he forces himself to swallow the petals back down. They catch in his throat and he almost starts coughing again before he finally manages it. "Allergies," says Dabi, voice scratchy. Dabi falls in love.

Failure had been the predominant constant in Shane's life for so long that he almost didn’t notice there had been something else steadily building its influence on him for years now. (Shane healing and coming to trust himself to become Jas's primary caregiver as her parents had wished, because it makes me feel sad things that Jas doesn't move into the farmhouse with Shane when he marries the player character.) :)

"Never have I ever wanted to kiss Neil."