Step 1: Watch the music video for "A Little Less Sixteen Candles..." Step 2: Listen to "Vampires Will Never Hurt You". Step 3: Mix liberally.

Patrick reached his sexual peak on a Tuesday afternoon.

When one is the male princess of a magical kingdom, few things come as a surprise anymore. Princess Gerard Way of the kingdom of Belleville sets out on a quest to fulfill a prophecy and encounters dragons, climbs mountains, runs from volcanoes, banters with King Peter of Wilmette, and finds true love along the way.

Patrick’s going to get over this crush if it kills him. Which, at the rate he’s going, it probably will.

Bren really can't be gay. She's a cheerleader! So she doesn't know what she's doing at this silly camp for homosexuals.

Pete accidentally "outs" himself and Patrick on Good Morning America. Only problem? They're not gay. What now?

Pete has a genetic abnormality that he takes pills for. One day he forgets his pills and ooops, gets pregnant!

"This *guy* Patrick," Pete said, dropping his voice to a whisper. "He's like, wearing *lace gloves*, and his hair is *freakish*."

Jane Austen AU. There’s a wedding, heartache and matchmaking, and it all happens in the 19th century England. It all made perfect sense in my head.

It was just an experiment. It wasn't like Pete was planning on reading this stuff for pleasure, right? So that made it okay. Otherwise known as "Pete ventures into fandom."

"What do you want for your birthday, Mr Smith?" "The Mona Lisa." "What...like the painting?" Nobody ever says no to Spencer. Even when he wants something crazy like The Mona Lisa. He collects a group of ten con artists, thieves and rogue government workers to pull off the biggest art heist in history. If it fails...well, Spencer doesn't think about things like that.

So, things happen when iphignia939 and I talk. Sometimes these things involve puppets. Other times they involve sex-slave collecting evil twins from alternate dimensions (what? is that unusual to talk about?). More often than not, it ends up involving Pete and Patrick... and sex. Tonight we started talking about the bad drinks and sex bathroom at Angels & Kings and some how ended up with this.

Pete accidentally "outs" himself and Patrick on Good Morning America. Only problem? They're not gay. What now?

Um, Daemons! at the Disco! Or something. In other words, an AU set within the general timeframe of Panic's Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour.

Pete is a divorced Elvis impersonator at a Las Vegas wedding chapel, who’s stopped believing in happy endings. Patrick hasn’t, but then again, he’s there to marry Bob.