“He thinks I have stigmata,” Frank said, because what the fucking hell, it couldn’t get any worse. He might as well just lay it out. “Oh, well,” said Brian into his hands. “Of course.”

Step 1: Watch the music video for "A Little Less Sixteen Candles..." Step 2: Listen to "Vampires Will Never Hurt You". Step 3: Mix liberally.

"Hey, Ma," Mikey says. "No, everything's fine—well, I mean, Gerard accidentally adopted a baby—no, he's changing her now, he can't talk." Gerard flips him off, but Mikey just settles further into the couch. Gerard pouts, then looks up at Frank. "Frankie," he says, and Frank shakes his head. "Sorry, man," he says. "But as the one sane person on this entire bus, I'm pretty sure my official job is to watch and laugh."

Ray turns into a girl.

Gerard comes out.

When one is the male princess of a magical kingdom, few things come as a surprise anymore. Princess Gerard Way of the kingdom of Belleville sets out on a quest to fulfill a prophecy and encounters dragons, climbs mountains, runs from volcanoes, banters with King Peter of Wilmette, and finds true love along the way.

“Why don’t we fuck?” Frank asks, tipping his head back to blow smoke at the sky.

Ray is just a normal dude working a normal job and teaching guitar on the side, but the weird thing is he totally decorates like an old lady, and is a collector of elephants. But he's not embarrassed about this AT ALL, he's totally proud of it, and he likes to show people when they come visit and tell the stories of where he got them all. So naturally, when normal dude Bob falls in love with him, Bob totally brings him an elephant the day they get engaged. So Ray doesn't get an engagement RING, he gets a totally badass engagement elephant.