"If you three don't stop bickering," Sophie continued, just barely loud enough for the mic to pick up, "no one will ever find the bodies."

“Welcome, newbies, to the only class SHIELD has to offer on surviving this shit. I'll be your teacher today, hi, Tony Stark, Iron Man, CEO of awesome."

Karkat Vantas, despite numerous protests, has just joined Alternia High's Gay-Straight Alliance. Shenanigans ensue.

The Coalition states for the record that it considers Her Imperial Condescension, Empress of Alternia and its conquered territories a Criminal, a Liability to her own people, an immature brat unfit for power, a Crazy Old Bat and an Abuser, and we do hereby charge her with Corruption, Corruption of Minors, Exploitation, Exploitation of Minors, Slavery, Slavery of Minors, Indoctrination, Indoctrination of Minors, Violation of the Prime Directive and Violation of seventy percent of the Chart of Universal Rights for the Sapient Species, and we declare to unanimously hold her in Contempt.

"Yeah. Thanks. Just what I need. Black lipstick."

Nick Fury circles the realm Midgard with his coils. Phil Coulson has seen enough of chains for one lifetime. Darcy Lewis is taking a break from Helheim. But there's still the matter of their brother Sleipnir...

Leverage, Eliot and any, real men wear pink

Natasha Romanova (Avengers) & Parker (Leverage) - "That is not happening."

"Things the men of the Howling Commandos are no longer allowed to do in the SSR."

Havoc's first encounter with the little Elrics. Havoc had been looking forward to meeting the Elric brothers, but he’d been looking forward to it while thinking he’d have the whole office as a buffer. He hadn’t thought he’d have them all to himself in a car for half an hour in traffic. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Overjoyed was not the word.

In which people with floofy pauldrons like Cullen should probably not stand so close to the woman waving around a lit candle on the end of a board.

The one where Caine meets Jupiter's family. This is that one.

My Cousin is Dating an Alien, an essay by Moltka Bolotnikov, age 12 and ½.

Flowers have meaning and, sometimes, not knowing them can be beneficial.

aka Steve Accidentally Joins the NY Pride Parade. He had just meant to go to the grocer’s. They needed eggs.

Rose said later that "I was really fucking bored" was insufficient explanation or indeed justification for the First Triennial Human/Troll Flashstepping Competition. (Now with a tiny sequel!)

"It's the job of the captain to pick the crew, and the duty of the first mate to test them for worthiness. How Zoro came to accept each of the straw hats as nakama."

It's the job of the captain to pick the crew, and the duty of the first mate to test them for worthiness. How Zoro came to accept each of the straw hats as nakama.

The sign, standing unassuming outside the Grand Line Coffee Shop in a handwriting Sanji recognizes as Usopp’s, says: TODAY YOUR BARISTA IS: 1. Hella fucking gay. 2. Desperately single. FOR YOUR DRINK TODAY I’D RECOMMEND: You give me your number. Or, the one coffee shop au where Usopp pulls a prank, Sanji is unexpectedly (read: completely unexpected to him and only him) popular among the male population of their campus, and Zoro just wants to grab a coffee.

Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, oh my. (Or, Tobirama has a date. He will probably live to regret it.) Prequel to It’s Witchcraft.

Sam feels really cheated by history now.

"Well, you can't ALL be the space prostitute." Coran protested, then appeared to muse it over. "Although..."

or alternatively titled "The Space Power Rangers Try to Figure Out If Shiro Has a Natural Winged Eyeliner Look Going On Because He's Fly Like That or Not and End Up Failing"

Yuri has joined the conversation. v-nikiforov: d i b s

fic where there is a supernatural threat to New York City and the Avengers show up to handle it but when they get there the Ghostbusters are already dusting off their hands and hosing off the slime

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

From the other end of the ship, panting as though he has run from the depths of his workshop, Usopp is the next to let out a scream: “Why is there a SHARK ON THE DECK!?”

Nozaki mistakenly thinks he's dating someone. And it gets worse.

Dr Kureha pounded some more monkshood beneath the pestle. "The name of a rabbit disease that infects humans. Causes ulcerations-"

Spock was able, at any given moment, to understand at least 50% of whatever it was Montgomery Scott was doing at any given moment.

He dueled him for many a long minute, and then trapping him at the end of a gantry, removed his hand from his wrist. Luke was surprised, but said not a word beyond his cry of pain. After a silence of several minutes, Vader came towards him in an agitated manner, and thus began,

"You're fucking with me." Tim blinks up at his uncle – and he's never seen his uncle in full armor before, not in person. It's kind of daunting. "Please tell me you're fucking with me, spawn."

Yamamoto and Gokudera have lunch together every Saturday. Tsuna can't decide if this is a good thing or just the cause of more ridiculous problems.

No harm ever came from -

concept: willy wonka and harry potter take place in the same universe the ministry of magic haaaates Willy Wonka

Yamamoto attempts to make Gokudera's lunch. Gokudera is not entirely impressed.

"This is the fortieth time." Jason says, "Just to point that out. I'm not complaining, or anything."

“I’m…uh….a retired competitive figure skater?” he asks, his voice going higher with embarrassment. “And I…uh…got 2 golds in the Grand Prix…and 2 golds in Worlds….and maybe a silver in Pyeongchang?”

tim drake’s snapchat is 90% him making bruce wayne do normal middle-class american things and filming the results.

The plan was simple, as good a plan as a clan of shipwreckers and bounty-hunters could ever come up with. Capture one of the weaker Straw Hats, the ones without bounties, and make them beg for mercy until the stronger ones surrendered. Nothing can possibly go wrong with such an easy, straightforward scheme. Time to make some money!

Nami's nakama were certifiable. Loony-bin material, every last one of them.

in which Tsukiyama is conned into having dinner with Hannibal and is delightfully surprised to find out that it is not in fact beef

Once Edward became legal, the number of office outings to the pub went up exponentially. Possibly this was because Edward was really fun to take to a pub.

Riza takes such immense joy in ruining Roy's life that he can't even bring himself to begrudge her.

As a last resort, they finally send Mikoto to talk to her. Kushina's not impressed, even though she has to admire their tenacity. They’ve tried three different elders, the woman who works at the ramen stand she likes almost as much as Teuchi’s, and Fugaku. Apparently, after the utter failure of that last one, they're attempting to pull out all the stops.

Piecing together the stories of the past from the things that were left behind is not always an easy task. Chapter 1 - In which historians really don't get it at all. Chapter 2 - In which Par Vollen releases some historical documents and the Dawnstone Dragon fandom goes wild. Chapter 3 - Political fallout, historical recipes, more on the Museum of Vashoth Culture's resident Simulacrum, and so on... Chapter 4 - In which Nigel makes a discovery.

“Midoriya,” Aizawa said slowly as if the sound of his name alone took ten years off his life. “I’m going to need you to run that by me again.” “I said I need to punch Endeavor in the face.” “That’s what I thought you said.”

“So, how long have you and Shane been dating?” Jen asks. If Ryan had already taken a sip of his coffee, he would’ve done a spit take right now. Instead, he just sends her an incredulous look. “Shane and I are what?” Or, Ryan and Shane's life would be so much easier if they just talked to each other.

Your name is John Egbert and you know you are not a homosexual. Apparently your friends were informed otherwise.

Lance and Keith had no idea what they were in for when Hunk joined them for an early-morning workout... AKA: Keith and Lance realize that they are both very gay, and that Hunk is very Hot