So, my resolution to blog more! How about blogging hilarious TV? I have rarely seen TV more hilarious than Teen Wolf.

Written for the prompt: Stiles smells really good to Derek. Like everything sweet rolled into one. Not that Derek would admit it. Maybe he accidentally gets ride of Stiles' bodyspray or never returns that borrowed shirt.

Sheriff Stilinski and his wife couldn't have children. In her desperation, Mrs. Stilinski found a young Selkie boy and hid his sealskin. Only she knew where it was hidden; when she died, so did that knowledge. Stiles grew to love his human family as his own, even grieving the death of his captor/mom, but the sea still calls to him in Beacon Hills.

“So,” says Sheriff Stilinski, raising one eyebrow. “You decided not to play video games at Scott’s, after all?” “Uh,” Stiles says. His eyes are wide and caught-out, and he’s got his arms wrapped around two giant tubs of popcorn. Beside him, Derek Hale—the same Derek Hale that the Sheriff last saw in his interrogation room—is handing a $20 bill to the cashier and clearly trying to appear as casual as possible. He fumbles the change three times before he gets it into his pocket, though, so it’s a lost cause.

Come Now, We're Children (Let's Play A Game): He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one. Totally Not A Meet-Cute: "Gerard has had a crush on Train Guy for a while, but just going up and talking to him would be weird. He needs a reason, right?" In the Belly Of: "Because space whales…fish…are a thing. In multiple universes. (Look, Todd asked and I said Okay, and this is what happened. I don’t know either.)" Turn Your Head: "Written for the genderplay square at kink_bingo's April 2012 "gift baskets" challenge." Apple Bottom Jeans (And Other Love Songs): "Or, how Steve Rogers--kind of--learns to dance."

The first time Stiles dresses Caleb up in a ridiculous outfit Derek thinks it’s a joke. He comes home from work one day and is greeted by the sight of their newborn pup in a zebra onesie complete with ears and a tail.

"If the explanation for making me late for work is that you guys were using me as a human stick in an epic game of werewolf fetch," he says, "I am going to be pissed." --- Four times the pack used Stiles as a stick, and once he got them to fetch Derek.

Gyzym's not!fics are addictive, I swear. So much so, in fact, that I've done... sixteen more XD Since there are so many of them, I've put streaming in for all of them on my LJ, and all sixteen can be downloaded from the link below. All are rated G except the one marked otherwise

Natural Selection: "BEACON, also known as the Bureau of Enforcement, Armed Combat and Offensive Neutralization (it sure is offensive, Stiles thinks) has established the Avengers Initiative in order to, uh, fight crime. And rampaging alien hordes. And stuff....And somehow, in the middle of all this chaos, the Hulk and Iron Man find love." Kids From Yesterday (OR, Mohawks for Everyone): "Okay, this bandom family stuff is unreal. Who needs to make this shit up?"

It all began when Ms. Frizzle got the letter from her niece.

OMG THERE NEEDS TO BE FIC WHERE THE SHERIFF RELATES DATING TO FISHING. AND STILES WANTS TO DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT.

Twisted Gifted: Some gifts really need to be returned. Truths, Lies and the Tipping Point: The news report seems more interested in the argument between the team during the fight than the way they eventually won. And then it gets worse. Minions First: Technically, and she will use this contextually with the phrase "meet cute" in the future, the first time Darcy Lewis ever talked to Clint Barton was in a storage closet.

It all began when Ms. Frizzle got the letter from her niece.

All Our Exploring: "We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot, Little Gidding. sometimes i feel: "I think I've missed a crucial turn in this conversation," Stiles says, practically into Scott's mouth because holy shit they are so so close now what is this, is this real. in a shower of: jonny washes patrick's hair; patrick doesn't hate it. Keep an Open Mind: They’ve had this connection for nearly as long as they’ve known each other; Patrick doesn’t know why it happened, what made it so that out of all the people in the world, it’s Johnny and only Johnny whose thoughts he can read, but there it is. One day it was just Patrick in his head, and the next, he’d woken up with the background awareness of Johnny in there too, and a panicked, thumping voice saying, Oh, shit. You too? Strange Days: "I don't want to talk to Deaton. I don't want to be another supernatural problem to be dealt with." No Business Like Show Business: In which Merlin is promoted from production intern to talent, is easily mortified, and has Post-It arguments with Arthur while the art department watches in glee. Also, there are gay dragons. Gone to the Dogs: Jonathan Toews turns into a puppy. Then some other stuff happens. what i'm saying is i need you here: Pat’s been carrying around these feelings for Johnny like an extra limb for years, now. It sucks, a little bit, but mostly it’s not too bad. Sometimes it blindsides her, though, like when the lockout ends and she comes back home. The Law of Conservation of Pants: Or, Five Things Darcy Lewis Thought She Knew Before She Met the Avengers (And One Thing That Will Always Be True). In which Darcy is put in charge of Social Media relations for the Avengers and finds that 5/6th of them challenge the things she thought she believed.

Stiles had plenty of experience with putting himself out there and getting shot down.

The thing about gymnastics is that it's a lot of work. And time. And busted muscles, And calluses everywhere. (Yes. Even there.) And having no social life whatsoever. All that for the distinction of being really good at gymnastics. Which does not exactly bolster Stiles's already tenuous masculinity.

YOU MIGHT BE DEREK HALE: a two-voiced chat fic in which kalakirya and somnolentblue MIGHT BE DEREK HALE Better Than Rocketship Underpants: a two-voiced chat fic in which kalakirya and somnolentblue giggle over scott and stiles and allison and pancakes and Derek not being allowed to be angsty

Stiles has been getting gifts lately… a lot of them.

#no seriously #where’s the au #where some witches or warlocks or something turn stiles into a cat #and he lurks in wait in the abandoned train station #waiting for derek to walk by so stiles can blitz-attack his ankles

Normally, Laura is perfectly willing to delicately coach her baby brother through the endless labyrinth of his emotional manpain, but Laura’s dissertation is due in two days and she just flat out doesn’t have the time.

"It's tough rattling around the house all by myself," the Sheriff says. "You boys are coming to dinner on Sunday nights from now on. Erica, too. You look like you could some feeding up. Do you eat anything aside from pie?" "Yes?" Derek says. He's not really sure how they ended up here, or how all that pie went so fast.

A Lifetime and a Half: Written for the queer_fest prompt "Either Fred and George, Padma and Parvati or Lorcan and Lysander, How do you tell the person who's most like you in all the world that you want to be a member of the opposite sex?" Before You Cross the Street (Take My Hand): Episode tag for 2x06. Papa Stilinski isn't really that dick.

what it says on the tin

The first day of Junior year for Stiles isn’t just spent going over course syllabi, but also finding out that while he had been shipped off to family for the summer, that the werewolves in town had an Alpha pack to deal with. Heavily frustrated, Team Human figure it’s long past time that they start taking their own safety into their hands.

AU. Danny just wants to meet his MMORPG BFF; she's not thrilled by the idea.

Appreciate him without sounding patronizing. Somehow. Refrain from smacking him. Make him laugh. Don't do this at someone else's expense. Maybe at your own. Be seen with him. Show him you're willing to be seen in public associating with him. Initiate conversation - show you want to talk to him. Do not allow him to think you just want something from him. Even if you do. Feed him. Not junk food. Show you can provide for him? Isaac had added (un)helpful additions, such as 'Don't leave dead animals on his porch!' in response to number five, underlining 'Don't do this at someone else's expense' twice, and 'Why are you writing a list to yourself in second person? The fact you want Stiles is your worst kept secret'.

Derek didn't mean to nod off during home room, but he'll be eternally grateful he did. And so will his family, if his warning can get to them in time.

The camera zooms in on the face of a very beautiful woman who looks vaguely familiar. “Who’s the babe?” Stiles jokes, turning to look over at Derek. “My mom,” Derek replies with a glare. “Oh, shit, dude, I’m sor—” Stiles breaks off his apology as his eyes drift back towards the screen. Beside Mrs. Hale is another familiar face. One he hasn’t seen in a long time. His mother.

The study group finds a new show to watch: MTV's Teen Wolf.

“What are you trying to do?” Lydia asks finally. “Fix Derek,” Stiles says, not bothering to dissemble – Lydia's been lied to enough. “You know, before someone or something else tries to use him.

"Well, you're a werewolf," Stiles says. Kevin has always had a pretty good poker face, but Stiles takes him completely by surprise, enough that there's a tell-tale pause that lasts a beat too long for the, "No I'm not," to be believed.

Derek is only too aware of his destiny - choose a calling, ascend to the pantheon of gods that the rest of his family is a part of. Trouble is, though, he can't seem to decide where to focus his strengths, shies away from the power and responsibility thrust upon him and prefers to escape and to watch the progress of humanity throughout time. He feels a bigger affinity with the humans than with his own kind, and revels in watching the fragile, mortal creatures he loves so much embody all the traits he holds dear. It's a passing hobby, that is, until he catches a glimpse of someone who demands his attention like no other.

In which the technology of fake babies used to teach teenagers not to have sex has progressed to a point that they instinctively cry when Stiles touches them.

Derek knew the moment he agreed to participate that he was going to regret this.