From: Xander To: all Slayers Re: using the computers in the library

So, my resolution to blog more! How about blogging hilarious TV? I have rarely seen TV more hilarious than Teen Wolf.

Eliot is an Immortal. Everybody copes.

Choose lasagna as good first meal for boy humans (1) and boy trolls (1) to show you can overcome this cooking thing. Feel impugned when Rose suggests you would both eat popcorn between two slices of bread and call it a day. Advise her you only did that the once.

It all began when Ms. Frizzle got the letter from her niece.

"On the bright side," Dick says as he shimmies down the building, "You didn't raise a group of homicidal, raging, vengeful killers and sociopaths so much as you raised a group of emotionally-volatile, obsessive, spiteful vigilantes and paper pushers."

Lucifer's cage is kind of cramped quarters.

Professor X and Magneto have a few additional instructions for Logan, as long as, you know, he's going to be back in time. (I'm sorry, this is total crack.)

THOMAS is the gladers' one hope of escaping the maze. He's also a brain in a jar.

In which A.I.M kidnap Tony. And decide to livetweet it.

"Temari, if you make me kiss him, you will regret it." Gaara's voice brooked no opposition.

"Once upon a time in Fire Country, O my Best Beloved, three Ninjas went on a D-rank mission to retrieve a Cat..." A tale in the style of Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories. Very silly.

It's like this. I was warning folks that I hadn't yet watched the last handful of eppies for FMA, and that if anyone spoiled me, they'd have to die loud and painful. So of course people decided to "spoil" me. Like how, in ep 51, Roy gets his WINGS and Ed is stabbed with SCARY GREEN ICE STUFF, and Seifer CRIES. Yes. Yes, it's FF8. DIE, PEOPLE. *hearts*

Yuri has joined the conversation. v-nikiforov: d i b s

Nozaki mistakenly thinks he's dating someone. And it gets worse.

It starts when he’s five, when his mother brings home a bag of fortune cookies and explains what the strips of paper inside them are for.

Jason has small, meaningless interactions with his family. The media outlets of Gotham disagree.

“Aw, come on,” says Anakin, glaring at the dice as if they’ve personally offended him. “You roll twenties for Ahsoka and not for me? I own you, you fuckers, the least you could do is do me a favor every once in a while.” or: Anakin Skywalker's terrible luck strikes again at the worst time.

Based on a kinkmeme prompt: "Ardyn pretends to be Noct to get info out of/lead astray/etc the Chocobros. Except Ardyn is thousands of years old and doesn't know how to talk like a 20 y/o slacker. He's too verbose, he uses old slang people haven't used in centuries, he smiles too much, he guesses their romantic attachments wrong..."

“You can’t quit skating to play children’s card games,” Celestino lectured. (In which the Yu-Gi-Oh trading card game exists and Phichit is very supportive of what is the weirdest direction for Yuuri to take coping with failure. Oh, and Viktor's there.)

“If we get home, you mean,” the Jin sect junior muttered. “Where even are we? And who’s the guy playing Chenqing?” Wei Wuxian was mildly offended. Who in the world knew enough to recognize Chenqing on sight but couldn’t recognize him? “I’m pretty sure that’s Senior Wei,” the shorter Lan sect junior said. “Just, you know, not…Senior Mo.”

"I will live in thy heart sleeve, (never) die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes, and moreover, I will go with thee to the extremely boring cultivation conference." –The Yiling Laozu, probably. Wei Wuxian needs a new workshop. Lan Wangji has room in his qiankun sleeves.

Nie Huaisang hates, hates, hates paperwork. Life would be so much better if only Meng Yao (now officially recognized as Jin Guangyao) were available to do it for him...but unfortunately, his brother never did end up swearing brotherhood with him, which means that Nie Huaisang has no basis to go ask him for help. If only there were another position available where Jin Guangyao could just run the Nie sect – (in which Nie Huaisang decides to matchmake his brother and Jin Guangyao together for his own selfish reasons)

It's a lovely morning in the capital, and you have acquired a horrible goose.

The children of the Sea have always chased after the horizon with a fire in their hearts that drove them ever forward to reach the place were the sky kisses the water. Not even death can stop the Will of D from echoing across the world. Sawada Tsunayoshi is the responsible older brother to three wild and mischievous little brothers. Tsuna loves them and they love him back. Now if only the world around them would stop catching fire so easily all the time, that would be fantastic. (The Will of D joins with the Flames of Sky in a Harmony that will bring forth the storm of change.)

“- and in one generation, they were all women, every single one of them!” “That seems remarkably unlikely,” Wen Ruohan remarked, and looked sidelong at Lan Qiren. “Don’t you think, Sect Leader Lan?” Lan Qiren had no idea the trouble his answer was about to cause.

“No, I don’t want anything,” Nie Mingjue said, deeply relieved to have identified that he had not, in fact, forgotten to fill out his calendar. “I’m stuck in a time loop.” “…ah,” the guard said, looking taken aback – he must be new to Qinghe, like many of the cultivators in the army. Like Meng Yao, for that matter. “Is that…bad?” “No, it’s fantastic. I’m going back to sleep. No one is to bother me all day.”

Fans of Proud Immortal Demon Way attempt to make sense of recent Twitter interactions between Peerless Cucumber and Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky. (siskyverse)

Jin Guangshan has a certain reputation when it comes to bastard children - a reputation he lives up to when Meng Yao arrives at, and is summarily thrown out of, Jinlin Tower. Unfortunately for Jin Guangshan, his actions are witnessed by all the other sect leaders of the time...and Lan Qiren, at least, has some objections.

Sid refuses to be jealous of something that's two and a half feet high and can't play hockey. OR: The Pittsburgh Zoo named some penguins after the Penguins, and no one will let Sid forget the one named after him has its shit together, because all his friends are assholes. Also there's pining.

Something explodes on Promised Day.

When Aizawa Shouta walked into his new class and saw everybody calmly seated and chatting, as if they'd done this a million times already, he just knew this year was gonna be long. Or, Shouta strongly wishes he had expelled his whole class on Day One, because figuring out what the hell is going on with them just feels well above his pay grade.

"How do you feel about your father becoming the number one hero?" "He'll always be number two in my heart." In which Todoroki Touya grows up to be a hero, and channels his anger into pettiness instead of villainy.

This is so not Hawks's day. Rumi is getting antsy with his stalling, frowning as the faint light that filters up to them puts a gleam in her eye. Hawks needs a plan fast, and one that will convince the League he's at least tried to play their side when they inevitably show up to see him and Rumi wrecking the absolute shit out of their pet monster. "Okay," Hawks says, "This is gonna sound real weird, but I need you to punch me in the face. It's for - " CRACK!

Trapper sat down, datapad in hand. “Ok, ready to transcribe.” Wooley smoothed the scarf down one more time, then started inspecting the stitches.

“Repeat that,” Tim says slowly. Kon gives him a defensive look. “I panicked, okay?” he repeats. “And ‘panicking’ meant you decided to kidnap . . . how many kids, exactly?”

"Crap!" the food truck worker shrieks in alarm. "Don't hurt him, Superman, he's just a kid!" Clark . . . pauses, then looks up from the kid that he is currently pinning into the street as said kid struggles underneath him. "'Hurt him'?" he asks in reflexive confusion, and then realizes how batting a teenager around like a person-shaped cat toy and pinning him to the street hard enough to crack it probably actually looks to an outside observer. . . . um. Whoops. "Um," he starts awkwardly, and then the kid slips his pin while he's distracted and throws his arms around his neck with a gleeful laugh and a bright grin. "Dad!" he crows triumphantly, and hugs Clark harder than literally anyone has ever hugged him before.