He didn’t know who started it but there was a wall on the Northeast Pier that the populace of Atlantis called “The Confessional”.

A disgruntled lieutenant approaches Jack about DADT, Sheppard and McKay.

"Let's go with Banach-Tarski as your safeword," McKay says almost absently, lips tracing lazily along John's hairline, and John blinks. // "You want to go with a Euclidean geometric paradox for my safeword?" he asks, bemused.

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

"Here’s an idea," John said. "Let’s just not talk about it. That’s been working pretty well for the last two months."

. . . composed from a great number of actual surveys; and other materials regulated by many new scientifick observations of their Affections and Masculine Virtues. Drawn up from the Journals which were kept by the several Commanders, And from the Papers of M. Rodney McKay, Esq., FRS; In One Volume, written by A Lady of Quality. September 1811, Halifax, Nova Scotia: His Majesty's Aerial Corps stand ready to welcome new additions to their number; an expedition late of the Antipodes.

Rodney steps up. (Warning, I should probably be shot for this.)

The Atlantis expedition has been lost for three years. SG-1 goes to find them, and arrives just a little too late.

Rule # 1: For every scientist, there is a grunt who loves them.

The whole thing started when Yertel asked McKay, “If you have had trouble bearing fruit, there are many men in this camp who will be happy to help,” and Rodney said, “What? Oh, no, our fruit supplies are fine—actually, I’m allergic to citrus anyway so I’m bigger on you know, cake,” which turned out to be some sort of near-tacit admission of infertility on P6X-990.

For the prompt 'AU: aliens'. Major Teyla Emmagen leaves for the Pegasus galaxy.

"In which the Wraith struggle with their diet, Sheppard and McKay struggle to play teacher, and everyone struggles with chocolate cake and other related evils."

Rodney had been trained for his position from near infancy. He had excelled in his studies and been selected for the apprenticeship over candidates twice his age. Now, years later, Rodney held the second most powerful position in the village. There was no one else who could do what he did. That didn’t make it any less meaningless.

The hammock was something he'd done more or less on a whim, liking the idea of it more than really expecting to use it. It's not like Rodney is much of an escape-for-a-nap in the middle of the day kind of guy, let alone a sleep-outside-with-the-bugs-and-risk-the-likelihood-of-slowly-developing-skin-cancer kind of guy.

River sees it all.

"You could introduce yourself. It's been a week. I've had dates put out faster than this."

In his rational mind, Rodney knew that following a girl who'd dumped you was really, really pathetic.

"For fuck's sake, Gibbs — is this some kind of exchange program that I don't know about?"