Welcome to: If Male Superhero Costumes were Designed Like Female Superhero Costumes!

So I was on tvtropes and was reading the page for the Iron Man movies, and someone had put on there that Dummy was one of the first robots Tony had ever built. And I went back and watched those opening scenes again, when they’re doing that profile of Tony and mention him graduating from MIT at 17, and sure enough it’s Dummy that he’s pictured with in that magazine article. I don’t know how I missed it the first ten times I watched this movie. And then there go all my feels, because he might tell Dummy he’s useless all the time but he still kept him even though it’s been like 20 years since Tony built him and he’s had to have come up with a hundred better designs for him by now but he hasn’t scrapped him, just made various attachments for him so he can use him all the time, even for putting together his Iron Man suit. And then Dummy goes and saves his life. So yeah all my feels for Tony and his robots :’)

No. Tony. NO! You can NOT adopt him! He has to go back where he came from. (He’s got a steady girlfriend for crying out loud.)

In which Dave realizes that the situation is stupid in the most ironically enjoyable way.

He doesn’t tell Dave why he hides his food under the futon, behind mixing equipment, inside the bricks of his desk. Why his swords are two steps from where he sleeps, and why he’s trained himself to cat nap in three hour intervals of insomniac nervousness.

Feed a cold, starve a fever, and in the case of an ennui-filled Terezi Pyrope just quadruple caloric intake.

“A smattering of elemental strategy.”

(It’s funny, he thinks, how he can set up a whole windy barrier around a house almost an hour away from civilization and they still try to get inside when they think the Empress is visiting. Of course, the worst are the tabloids convinced they’re having an illicit interspecies romance and desperate for any photo they can take. Last week’s Enquirer had a cover story featuring an image of John screaming as tiny sea troll babies burst from his stomach. The tagline had read HUMANS TO HOST ALIEN OFFSPRING and John hadn’t even bothered to turn to page 2. Funny how the truth would have worried humanity more; it was such a good idea he’d talked Feferi out of telling them everything right away.)

He walks like a cat who has tape on his paws, and has had tape on his paws for a very long time, and who never expects to ever again walk without scrunching miserably from side to side in a tangle of self-loathing and confusion. It hurts to look at him, but it hurts more not to.

“It’s like, his little hornzorz!” Latula says. She rips open a new pack of Flamin Hott Fire Crispoz with extreme prejudice, manic with food dye and pity.

There’s a really great fic on AO3 called A Gentleman and a Lady. It contains very well written Dave/Terezi crossdressing deliciousness and you should be reading it now.

“Okay,” he says, “Do it again.” “—————,” replies Karkat.

You get culled.

What if the universes collided and a bunch of Steves ran into each other. And for whatever reason, they all had sex. As one does when meeting several of your alternate universe versions.

First snippet, for asukaskerian. Hell yes, I will write the cuddly after-porn bit for these two! Unf. I am picturing them probably in similar circumstances here as in Asuka’s Uniform Kink pesterlog. :3

It was so much easier to be celibate when you were dead.

Someone demanded human/troll kismeses having anal sex, with those headcanons: #1 Since trolls have nooks, anal sex is regarded as strictly taboo. Or not even taboo, perhaps just really odd and kinky, like, why would you put that there??? #2 Anal sex is strictly reserved for the caliginous quadrant, as a means of showing dominance over your partner. I don’t mean non-con or even dub-con; after a bout of fighting or arguing or whatever, the winner can choose to propose it and the loser can choose to accept it as an expression of rightfully-earned submission.

First Mugshot pic of the awesome collab I’m doing with Scifigrl47!

OMG THERE NEEDS TO BE FIC WHERE THE SHERIFF RELATES DATING TO FISHING. AND STILES WANTS TO DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT.

The trollmance novel turns from soap opera to smut in 30 seconds.

BUT WHAT IF INVESTIGATION FOR MARRIAGE FRAUD:

Do you remember the first time you saw the stars? The first time you looked up and realized there were an infinite number of worlds that humanity had left to discover? I don’t know how old I was when I first yearned to go up there; it’s all I’ve ever known. And I can tell you this — even though I have seen more worlds than I ever imagined, even though I have sacrificed so much to do this, I have never lost that desire to explore, or that profound amazement that I feel when I look up into the infinite wonder of the skies. - Captain Manon Rhéaume

AS IF I COULD RESIST THE CHANCE TO WRITE DANNY TAKING STILES’ VIRGINITY.

Askerian: urban fantasy Davekat with demon again XD Askerian: not the same way tho Askerian: angels and demons are aligned with good and evil Askerian: also there’s supernatural beasties and elementals and werewolves and lamia everywhere

about a reverse little mermaid

Stiles turns to look at her, schools his face into an expression of exasperation, but then there’s a rush—a current, a wave, a familiar tendril of smart, precise, hot pink and sharp heels and wicked smartness—and—

I’m talking about daemons as in the His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman, or the Golden Compass movie if you’ve seen that. What daemons do everyone have? What happens to daemons during a drift? How do pilots’ daemons act around each other? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

j wanted super drift compatable davekats

Asuka I wrote you a thing. It’s a slight AU playing with the idea of the kids having minor holdovers of their game powers. Not enough to affect day-to-day life, but just enough. All ficlets take place before they’re pilots. For some of the iffier powers I made guesses about how they would translate, most notably Dirk’s. He is the ghost in the machine. 8|

You know you’re staring as he straps into the interface

SXIZ IS TALKING TO ME ABOUT WHAT IF DIRK/JAKE D/S WHERE JAKE TIES DIRK UP AND JUST TELLS HIM HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIM BECAUSE IT MAKES DIRK FLUSTERED AND THAT’S HOW HE DOMS HIM HE MAKES DIRK FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH FEELINGS I’M GOING TO FUCKING PASS OUT

Pepper is BFFs with one of Neal Caffrey’s aliases because ~art luv~ and they meet and hijinks with Extremis and theft.

Othercat’s Prompt: In Which an Alien Wage Slave With Few Prospects for Advancement Becomes Entangled in a Feud With a Heretical Young Legislacerator and the Newly Enthroned Grand Highblood, Featuring Xenosexual Relationships, Flipped Tables, Graphic Caliginous Flirtation, Unsuccessful Auspistizing, Threesomes, Chucklevoodoos and Subversive Humor. Ashen Davec3

Show of hands, who didn’t read it as a porn prompt? anyone? anyone? bueller? Contains sort-of-public sex, oral and penetrative sex, some slurry retention.

It’s not like it’s rare at his gigs for someone to sidle up to the booth and go, “Hey! Nice music!”, grinning and interested. "If you’re hitting on me, queue’s on your left," Dave replies, and then he looks.

Now I’m imagining Steve offering to sleep with Tony so Iron Man doesn’t have to do it anymore.

noviblue asked: 1. Bro/Signless (my rarepair

bkprsn101 (18:16:50):I had, like, five minutes bkprsn101 (18:16:57):and then there was Dave/Naruto Askerian (18:17:04):i’d say i’m sorry but i’d be lying

"Holy crap", the guy says, sprawled on Dave’s bed with arms akimbo. Dave swallows a smirk, and pushes his hand off so he can lay down beside him, side by side. No contact though, they’re both too warm and sweaty.

Steve has some unique needs now that he's a super soldier. (Vampire AU.)

So now I’m thinking about Derek owning a queer bookstore in Beacon Hills (because he wants to stay near his pack and the family home) after he gets his degree. And he’s not unhappy, exactly, he just spends a lot of his time by himself because his store is small and he can’t afford to pay more people to work there and still cover his costs, and if sometimes he gets lonely then that’s what his books are for and why he has a big sister who’ll prod and nudge him out of his shell and a little sister who’ll make him take her out for lunch

Thom is many things (arrogant, impossible, brilliant, a terrible brother, he supposes he could carry on all day), but he has never been stupid. He is aware from the moment the Conté Duke’s eyes open that he should have left them closed; there are some things that anyone can see, Master of the Mithran Light or no. "Ah," Roger says, "Trebond,” and Thom shudders.

cnihtofrage asked: I know you wrote at least one sequel to Amateur Palemates, but think I remember another one where Sollux figures out what's going on? two of them actually, one of them just actual pale exhibitionism treated seriously, and one of them ashen by way of pale exhib; they’re forever WIP that i posted teasers for in several places, but i never found a satisfying conclusion. here’s all i’ve got, you can see the ashen one has a clumsy POV and starts to meander toward the end and i don’t know where the fuck i’m leading it. i do like a lot of the dialogue quite a bit though.

your tags are rude and i am upset (yes please cam stiles blowing himself hello) - winterkiss

If you’re like me, you desperately want to read longer stories. You want to get lost in them for hours - perhaps even days - on end. You want to immerse yourself in beautiful writing, and never surface again!

So, yeah. This is longer than 500 words. I started writing and immediately got sucked into (super basic) world-building and (minimal) scene-setting, which is exactly what this exercise is supposed to prevent. When I realized what I was doing I said well shit and skipped straight to the porn, which, unsurprisingly, also didn’t limit itself to 500 words. And then that little scene-setting bit was up there just looking accusingly at me, so I finished it off to some extent, and that’s what you have here: a little chunk of set-up and a little chunk of smut, extremely sloppily stuck together. Maybe I’ll make this less sloppy some day. It was terrific fun to write. This is a post-Sburb universe reset where the game made a little mistake and accidentally swapped the players’ species on the way out. Whoopsies! There’s possibly some body-dysphoria business going on if you’re sensitive to that, but nothing too extreme.

GDI BECKY HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION But yes Stiles totally does this.

It’s not even a big deal. Frankly, Derek doesn’t understand what Laura’s problems is when she’s the one who used to tease him so much about his compulsive gym rat routine.