"We should probably go soon, anyway," she says. "There's an unconscious man in the ladies' bathroom with 'wanker' written on his forehead – people are going to start asking questions."

"The first time Steve meets Toni is about a week after he wakes up."

(Just Pre Heroic Age) - The Avengers aren't quite back together yet, things are still a little rocky between Tony Stark and Commander Rogers, and Tony's slaving away at Stark Resiliant, trying to make a fortune again to fund everyone's superhero habit, and be on his best behavior for Steve, when Maria Hill calls him with a problem... an unidentified Iron Man suit has appeared in New York City. But it's not talking.

From a prompt on Avengerkink. Thanks to a magical spell by invading aliens from another realm, Tony Stark becomes a woman...for three months. Obviously there's no way he's not going to take his new body for a test drive. And who better to help him with it that our very own Captain America, Steve Rogers, the straighter-than-a-ruler guy he's been falling in love with totally against his will and who's finally noticing him now...

The only jobs for which no man is qualified are human incubators and wet nurse. Likewise, the only job for which no woman is or can be qualified is sperm donor. -Wilma Scott Heide

Chris is tired of pretending she plays for the other team. It doesn't help matters that she has a hot best friend.

"Request is for trolls having 'opposite parts'. I know it doesn't really make sense with all the references to bone bulges, but let's pretend that troll men have vaginas and troll ladies have cocks. I want to see a troll and and one of the kids hook up and have lots of "oh god wtf you're backwards" confusion and alarm. I don't really care which pairing it is, but there's a lot of them it could be hilarious/cute with (John/Karkat, Rose/Kanaya, Dave/Terezi, Jade/Tavros, etc.) If it ends up being a troll girl with a human guy, bonus points for pegging!"

Stiles’ first memory of his mom is green. Her green eyes, her green dresses, her green scarves, her green blouses and her green barrettes.

Pat's relationship with the media has been fraught since she was drafted, second round, home to Buffalo. Her relationship with her new Captain, when she eventually winds up in Chicago a couple of years later, doesn't start off a whole lot better. But by the time she's flying back from Biel, she's willing to admit that she had missed their thing just a little, weird as he's always been around her.

Five Times Jonny Noticed Kaner and One Time Kaner Noticed Her Back “I mean it, Tazer baby. We’re gonna show those boys how it’s done.” And Jonny looked her up and down one more time, before reaching out to tug a few curls into place, flicking her on the nose once for good measure. “We always do,” she said, and her gaze was locked on Kaner’s and Kaner felt like she could take over the entire world.

Loki is Thor's sister, not his brother. The events of Thor go somewhat differently.

Naruto has a secret. So does Sasuke. And Sakura. Just how were the genin teams picked again?

"Double-check the wards properly! Dying of awesome sex would be a good way to go if we have to, but I'm not keeling over before I get my diploma, okay?" John rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." Jade keeps watching him from the corner of her eye for a few seconds; he seems to be doing it seriously, at least, even if he's still huffy. "Bluh. I get why you'd need to pass demonology, but not why I need it if my major is weather magic." -- Anonymous asked: John/Jade/Karkat - John and Jade are demon summoners (for reasons) trying to call up an incubus/succubus (for reasons). They get Karkat.

From a prompt on the kmeme: It seems to this OP that Isabela's gender often becomes an overwhelming aspect of her character. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it got OP to wondering about how Isabela would be both different and the same if she were a man. How would her companions and the world around her respond? Could be an AU in which Isabela was always a man or a magical accident that turns her into a man. Sweet, serious or utterly cracktastic fine by OP. Any, many or no LI just dandy. Artfill or fic would be excellent.

Jonelle’s a bastard, right? So she’ll be at the back of the tent when Robert asks Sansa what happened with Joffrey and Arya and Nymeria. She’ll hear Sansa’s soft, quiet whisper- I didn’t see- and Arya’s scream, she’ll hear Cersei’s sentence, her father’s answer. And Jonelle’s as righteous and angry as Jon ever is, and so she doesn’t hesitate to turn around and leave, to use Robb’s parting gift to her- a sharp-edged Valyrian steel imitation dagger- to smash open Ghost’s and Lady’s chains and chase them away. [In which Jon Snow is Jonelle Snow, and goes south with her sisters.]

“I still owe you a proper Thank You,” Alex whispers. His fingertips skim down the front of her shirt as he sinks to his knees.

A fic based lightly on a reddit post— "I (21f) have a crush on my roommate (20f). I can't figure out if she actually likes me back or not or is just being friendly. She cooks for me and knows all my favorite foods, and brings me lunch. She buys me anything I want, and her family all joke about our wedding. I once fell asleep on her lap and when I woke up she was stroking my hair and I almost had a stroke. I can't figure out if she's flirting with me or not. Help!"

Sid's hair is a thing. It's her thing, and she's always a girl even when she's a hockey player.

Geno's a dom and only a dom, Sidney's a sub who doms sometimes but only because people keep asking her nicely, and all their feelings for each other are entirely platonic. Yeah right.

Jack Eichel has 99 problems and Connor McDavid is... well. More of them than he thinks. In which Jack hates Connor McDavid, who he's never met, quietly pines after the cute girl he always sees in the gym, and has no idea that these two things are related.

The program finally starts and she can’t stop herself from grinning stupidly when she hears his voice. They ask about her and she leans forward, listening avidly. “We’re very happy to be together for the next eight years,” he tells them. Connor punches the air. “Hell yeah we are,” she tells the screen. “Have you guys just been texting each other happy faces emojis constantly?” Sid asks. “Yeah, lots of kisses,” Leon says and Connor freezes.

“Most of the time, curses aren’t specifically or intentionally cast,” Alex explains. “It takes a lot of supplies, and time, and energy to set a curse. Most magic carriers won’t do it; it’s not worth it.” “If it’s not a curse…” “It’s a mutated spell.”

Jaime Lannister drives her sword through Aerys's back to save a kingdom. When her father's armies sack the city and kill those she was sworn to protect, she flees King's Landing, unsure what to do. On her way to Dorne, she runs into Ned Stark who hands her a baby and a purpose, protect the Targaryen heir. A Jaime Lannister redemption story.