Wherein the beta kids have an agreement to form a sedoretu once they're old enough, as told in a series of standalone pesterlogs. Part 1 - Dave, Rose, Jade, and John meet in a chat room on Jade's thirteenth birthday to talk about nothing in particular. Sequel here: http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/38154.html?thread=39650570

'There was only one thing worse than Dave Strider's smug motherfucker act, and it was his smug motherfucker act after he'd won a bet.' In which Karkat has lost a bet to Dave and turns paying up into payback.

Three years on an asteroid makes for a lot of hanging out to do, and it's during one of these hang outs that Terezi discovers Dave's photo album. It takes a little convincing, but soon Dave is taking her on a trip down his particular Memory Lane.

Gamzee has one little wish for Smashed Bloodpusher Eve.

You have to put him in school, and if you weren't busy trying to make money to keep a roof over his head in this world where neither of you belong, you would be all about home schooling. You have to prepare him for the game. You only got eight years left.

TT: Sometimes I've gotta go round her up from some godforsaken cranny of the abyss. Drag her tipsy ass home, tuck her back in. A few instances of Dirk taking care of Roxy while she's half-awake on Derse.

Aradia had always thought seadwellers were all nasty, ruthless, terrible monsters who abused their place on the hemospectrum. After an encounter with the Heiress herself, she realizes that maybe not all seadwellers are bad after all.

Karkat Vantas, despite numerous protests, has just joined Alternia High's Gay-Straight Alliance. Shenanigans ensue.

Feed a cold, starve a fever, and in the case of an ennui-filled Terezi Pyrope just quadruple caloric intake.

Roxy and Dirk have been alone most of their lives, so when they meet in person for the first time, it feels a little strange.

When he realised he had two genders, he wanted to scream in frustration.

Title: And Only One Blanket Summary: The building they come to falls somewhere on the shed-shack-cabin-cottage continuum; the threat of frostbite makes Rose disinclined to be picky. Title: Going Both Ways Summary: Karkat can match him at either end of his scale, balancing both highs and lows with this kind of frothing, incoherent fury that's...kind of attractive, in the right light. All that energy. All that drive. Title: King of Spades Summary: ==> Dirk: fuck the Man.

Feed a cold, starve a fever, and in the case of an ennui-filled Terezi Pyrope just quadruple caloric intake.

(It’s funny, he thinks, how he can set up a whole windy barrier around a house almost an hour away from civilization and they still try to get inside when they think the Empress is visiting. Of course, the worst are the tabloids convinced they’re having an illicit interspecies romance and desperate for any photo they can take. Last week’s Enquirer had a cover story featuring an image of John screaming as tiny sea troll babies burst from his stomach. The tagline had read HUMANS TO HOST ALIEN OFFSPRING and John hadn’t even bothered to turn to page 2. Funny how the truth would have worried humanity more; it was such a good idea he’d talked Feferi out of telling them everything right away.)

He walks like a cat who has tape on his paws, and has had tape on his paws for a very long time, and who never expects to ever again walk without scrunching miserably from side to side in a tangle of self-loathing and confusion. It hurts to look at him, but it hurts more not to.

Adventure Time with Aradia and Jade!

Ex-military Eridan Ampora has an honorable discharge hanging on his wall, dreams of battlefields that haunt him around every turn and a pair of trolls who scurry around his house and snoop in his things when they think he isn't looking while they wait for their own scars to fade. Somehow, he thinks that that's enough. Inspired by Unwanted Free Ugly Troll.

There’s a really great fic on AO3 called A Gentleman and a Lady. It contains very well written Dave/Terezi crossdressing deliciousness and you should be reading it now.

Your name is ROXY LALONDE, and you think that your mother hates you.

Being an adult is hard, it is hard and no one understands. Particularly when your only child starts polyamorously dating aliens.

In an alternate universe where the kids came from a world with daemons, what's different? And what's the same?

The first month after he wakes up on the meteor, WV spends most of his time alone.

Karkat introduces Dave to some of his quality literature; Dave is more ok with this than he expected to be.

"Fine. Assuming that no court on earth discovers that you are an interdimensional spy in deep disguise," Rose corrects herself, flopping down on the bed to lie next to you, "we are now legally married. In the State of Nevada. You are now my beautiful wife." You think about this for some time. After a while, you say, "We have to tell everybody."

It is important to keep in mind that when a human says, "I hate you," it is most certainly not a come-on. The only thing more horrific than human apathy is human hatred. They do, after all, have two words for friendship. Or so we thought.

The Coalition states for the record that it considers Her Imperial Condescension, Empress of Alternia and its conquered territories a Criminal, a Liability to her own people, an immature brat unfit for power, a Crazy Old Bat and an Abuser, and we do hereby charge her with Corruption, Corruption of Minors, Exploitation, Exploitation of Minors, Slavery, Slavery of Minors, Indoctrination, Indoctrination of Minors, Violation of the Prime Directive and Violation of seventy percent of the Chart of Universal Rights for the Sapient Species, and we declare to unanimously hold her in Contempt.

TG: youre clear for take off captain TG: if you know what i mean TG: clear skies are you ready to soar into that sexy sunsets pinkish embrace TG: sort of an angry red in places

It's hard being a graduate student, trying to write a thesis, create a revolutionary computer program, or prove the existence of dragons while living in a shitty apartment with your two girlfriends. It's hard, but at least your girlfriends understand.

The day Aradia Megido arrived in New York, three important things happened, though she only noted two at the time.

Rose said later that "I was really fucking bored" was insufficient explanation or indeed justification for the First Triennial Human/Troll Flashstepping Competition. (Now with a tiny sequel!)

If Bro had smiled, even once...

Davepetasprite takes up an old hobby in a new medium.

"Well of fuckin' course troll JKR wasn't forced ta have Voldie be a fake sea dweller with magicked-on fins in the end, he was a fake who was aimin' higher than his station in life all along, this is the only readin' that makes any sense! If he were a real sea dweller then his motive for offin' the landdwellers makes zero fuckin' sense! An' his lack a any true class, are you even serious?" "I find it remarkable that a single being should be so consistently and hugely self-blind," Rose mused, and bared her teeth in a pleasant (not) grin. -- Anonymous asked: Rose spade/diamond Eridan, the differences between troll and human Harry Potter.

Remember the first time Kanaya cut Karkat's hair?

You've been... you don't know, study buddies, something stupid like that, for most of spring semester.

Part of being your matesprit is learning how to swim. You don't know how Karkat got this far without being able to, but before the end of the night, he's going to learn if it krills you.

Life may suck but at least Dave still owns a copy of Grease.

Your name is Dave Strider and your universe is DEAD. You have to find a safe place for your nubby-horned, alien companion in the DEPTHS OF SPACE. Under normal circumstances, you would be deader than your old universe, but you're no longer a MERE HUMAN, having ascended to god tier. The troll has not, but it helps that you hitch a ride on a FANCY SPACESHIP. All you need to do is find your MISSING FRIENDS and you are golden. >>AU after the scratch. USS Enterprise [UE] began texting turntechGodhead [TG] at ??? UE: Hello. This is Captain James T. Kirk of the starship USS Enterprise. We are on a peaceful mission of exploration. UE: My communications officer picked up an odd signal from this location. Can we offer any assistance? --Now with FANART--

In the name of family bonding, Roxy, Rose, Dave, and Dirk play a game of truth or dare. (They may regret this plan.)