Saving And Being Saved: "Five boys and Battle School. Nobody is satisfied, but one can imagine Graff doesn't care." Fangs Up: "Someone finally takes notice of the fact that Gabe Saporta says he spoke to a snake." One Man Band: "It takes Spencer a while to figure it out, but he doesn't let it change how he behaves when he does." Patrick Stump's Strip Joint, or The One Where They're All Strippers Apart From Patrick Who Has Taken Up Handicrafts (Not Like That): "The one where they're all (pretty terrible) strippers, Patrick owns the strip joint, and his therapist has suggested he take up a hobby."

Behind the long line of locks, Bruce waits for a chance to escape. Collared, imprisoned, property of the army. Until Lord Mage Anthony Stark ... decides he's not having that. Fantasy AU.

The first time you pass by the troll in the box you kind of try not to see it. It's gross as fuck when people do this. You guess maybe it's better than driving them out into the country and dumping them to make it on their own, or those stories you've heard about people dumping unwanted wrigglers in sacks into rivers--those you try not to think about because fuck, that is not okay on any level but it's not like you can do shit about it.

Ex-military Eridan Ampora has an honorable discharge hanging on his wall, dreams of battlefields that haunt him around every turn and a pair of trolls who scurry around his house and snoop in his things when they think he isn't looking while they wait for their own scars to fade. Somehow, he thinks that that's enough. Inspired by Unwanted Free Ugly Troll.

AO3 port of Brainbent, a reader-driven Homestuck AU on Tumblr. Warning for mental illness themes. Major updating in progress as I move the story posts here from Tumblr for an easier archive bingeing experience.

"Okay. Let's work on shelter first. You ever build a treehouse?" Sh-t, Tavros's little impressed face kind of gets you right in the pump biscuit.

Duo's first month as an EMT.

All Our Exploring: "We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot, Little Gidding. sometimes i feel: "I think I've missed a crucial turn in this conversation," Stiles says, practically into Scott's mouth because holy shit they are so so close now what is this, is this real. in a shower of: jonny washes patrick's hair; patrick doesn't hate it. Keep an Open Mind: They’ve had this connection for nearly as long as they’ve known each other; Patrick doesn’t know why it happened, what made it so that out of all the people in the world, it’s Johnny and only Johnny whose thoughts he can read, but there it is. One day it was just Patrick in his head, and the next, he’d woken up with the background awareness of Johnny in there too, and a panicked, thumping voice saying, Oh, shit. You too? Strange Days: "I don't want to talk to Deaton. I don't want to be another supernatural problem to be dealt with." No Business Like Show Business: In which Merlin is promoted from production intern to talent, is easily mortified, and has Post-It arguments with Arthur while the art department watches in glee. Also, there are gay dragons. Gone to the Dogs: Jonathan Toews turns into a puppy. Then some other stuff happens. what i'm saying is i need you here: Pat’s been carrying around these feelings for Johnny like an extra limb for years, now. It sucks, a little bit, but mostly it’s not too bad. Sometimes it blindsides her, though, like when the lockout ends and she comes back home. The Law of Conservation of Pants: Or, Five Things Darcy Lewis Thought She Knew Before She Met the Avengers (And One Thing That Will Always Be True). In which Darcy is put in charge of Social Media relations for the Avengers and finds that 5/6th of them challenge the things she thought she believed.

Steve Rogers just wanted to sell good, nourishing, cheap food from his food truck. Now the crazy fusion chefs from TOBRU are calling him a hipster, the avant garde restaurant "Shield" across the street has declared war on chains, and...well, then there's Thor, who thinks Steve's habit of licking food is weird.

The Coalition states for the record that it considers Her Imperial Condescension, Empress of Alternia and its conquered territories a Criminal, a Liability to her own people, an immature brat unfit for power, a Crazy Old Bat and an Abuser, and we do hereby charge her with Corruption, Corruption of Minors, Exploitation, Exploitation of Minors, Slavery, Slavery of Minors, Indoctrination, Indoctrination of Minors, Violation of the Prime Directive and Violation of seventy percent of the Chart of Universal Rights for the Sapient Species, and we declare to unanimously hold her in Contempt.

Asuka I wrote you a thing. It’s a slight AU playing with the idea of the kids having minor holdovers of their game powers. Not enough to affect day-to-day life, but just enough. All ficlets take place before they’re pilots. For some of the iffier powers I made guesses about how they would translate, most notably Dirk’s. He is the ghost in the machine. 8|

Derek didn't mean to nod off during home room, but he'll be eternally grateful he did. And so will his family, if his warning can get to them in time.

Five times Stiles served mostly normal drinks in a coffee shop.

Batman is very happy with the way that Robin has picked up his training, his methods and his habits. Generally. But his protege showing up at the Batcave with two small children, Tim and Jason, clinging to him proves he's adopted one trait Batman would have rather he hadn't. It seems the batfamily has an incurable penchant for picking up strays, and Tim and Jason are only the beginning.

Steve pauses when he sees the bizarre changes to Times Square. Well, what if he didn't? What if he got away and SHIELD didn't get him? He escapes. He learns. And in true Captain America fashion, he refuses to hide away and decides to take the fight to Hydra (because who else would capture him?) in the streets of New York, hiding among the Finest. Along the way, he picks up a rural hometown, a best friend who knows a little too much about the silver men, an old friend with new metal accessories in his fists, and a partner who doesn't freak out when Steve tells him Nazis are trying to kill him, please don't tell the Desk Sergeant? Oh, and at some point, he may just figure out that the weird guy at the coffee shop isn't gay, but is a SHIELD agent that's torn between turning THE CAPTAIN in and giving up the vacation this manhunt turned into.

Apparently Supernatural was real, which was presumably why Gabriel was bleeding out onto Richard’s floor. (In which the actors of Supernatural find that reality is stranger and more disturbing than they previously believed, even counting Misha, and an injured archangel discovers that his universe is the subject of a TV show.)

“Eternity is really rather boring, John. Mortal life seemed as though it would be far more interesting.” Sherlock is actually the Devil, but he decided to live as a mortal because ruling Hell was boring.

“Your first mistake,” John says smoothly, “was calling yourself Moriarty. It got my attention.” In which Jim is not, in fact, Moriarty.

And how things could have gone differently.

Sam smiles, bright and luminous. "An angel's Grace isn't just power, Dean. It's a part of their soul." An AU 'verse that takes place after episode 5.22.

Two hundred years ago the Winchesters stopped the apocalypse. Now, instead of getting into fights and running amok, eighteen year old Jim Kirk goes to live with his Auntie Sam and learns the family business. Four years later, an angel shows up.

Mrs. Strife fixes, well, not everything, but what she can. ShinRa is not so self-observant as to notice. The Energy Crisis is not resolved, but will somehow be fixed at some future point. Cloud Strife won't have to go back in time in this 'verse. Turks have a terrible sense of humor.

Eight-year-old Sasuke is a broken soul. Eight-year-old Naruto is a hated demon-carrier. Eight-year-old Sakura is a bright girl whose parents are killed unexpectedly in a house fire. They meet as three orphans desperate to become the strongest of ninja and in the process find a new family.

After rescuing Shaundi from her ex-boyfriend, the teenaged Saints hide out in IHOP.

The day Aradia Megido arrived in New York, three important things happened, though she only noted two at the time.

Naruto isn’t the only one in the village to earn the title “monster”. At the age of six, he meets a collared Orochimaru and makes a most unlikely ally.

Yamamoto Genryūsai Shigekuni is a wise and terrifying warrior, the titan who has ruled the Gotei 13 for over a thousand years. But, at heart, he’s an old man who likes his tea prepared a certain way and has a soft spot for talented youngsters. It started with Ukitake and Kyoraku, and his latest fledgling seems to be one Kurosaki Ichigo, substitute soul reaper. (Alternatively, a story in which Yamamoto is a crafty old man, Ichigo grows up to be utterly terrifying, and Aizen doesn’t stand a chance.)

Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no husband and bear no children. I shall wear no gowns and no jewels. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life's blood to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come. -The Sisterhood of the Night's Watch

When Dorne became one of the Seven Kingdoms, they agreed to replace the Westeros Law of Inheritance with the Dornish Law, so that the same laws would be followed throughout the realm. Or, Five times there was no male primogeniture in Westeros, and this wasn't as helpful as you might expect.

According to the Bingo Book, Hatake Kakashi has two dæmons.

The first time Jensen meets Max, he's cuffed to a chair with a dislocated jaw. Things don't improve significantly from this point onwards.

The common folk whisper about the Council of Kings and Queens that rules over Westeros. They whisper that they are the Seven reborn.

my problem with the ‘harry becomes lord of 2/¾/5 ancient noble houses’ trope is so unbelievably petty because its that fic writers don’t take it to the potential extreme. like, okay, you wanna make harry the bossest of bitches i get that, i understand, i have that urge too from time to time, but c’mon, be a little more creative about it please

When Tim Drake was 2 years old, his parents moved to Metropolis.

Kurama just wants to finish his nap in peace. A particularly idiotic human is making that rather hard.

A yellowblooded troll kid walks into a cult-run computer servicing joint, and immediately regrets it. Inspired by Cultstuck!

When Harry was eleven years old, his Hogwarts letter came by owl. He'd been accidentally blowing windows open and lighting cauliflower on fire for years. James took Harry to go get his wand at Ollivanders, and Lily took Dudley to the Owl Emporium where he tried to convince her they should build an aviary in the backyard. They came home with a fat black cat who hissed at everyone. Dudley named him Spooks, and Lily called him Monster. "Did you have to?" said James. "That is the meanest beast I've ever met, and I've known Remus unmedicated on full moons and a pubescent Sirius thwarted in love." Lily, who had ink on her cheek and a ballpoint pen stuck behind her ear, waved vaguely at the living room without looking up from her arrest report. Dudley was asleep in an armchair. The cat sprawled across his lap. Both its front paws were wrapped around Dudley's arm as it cleaned his wrist with aggressive fondness. "Alright," said James. "Yeah, you had to."

It starts when he’s five, when his mother brings home a bag of fortune cookies and explains what the strips of paper inside them are for.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

“-my mother was not Lyanna fucking Stark!” Jon exclaimed, before turning and kicking, vehemently at the sofa, enough to leave brown dustmarks on the purple cloth. He turned back to her, lifting a finger threateningly. “I don’t care what you say. But our father would never- never- sleep with his sister, in fact I don’t even know why I’m telling you this because guess what, Sansa? You should already know that!” [Sansa tries to tell Jon who his mother is. Jon thinks he’s an incest-baby. Which........ isn’t wrong.]

There's a monster whispering in Minato's head, curled around his soul. It’s vast and hungry and full of fury, radiates it and basks in it and lets it spill over through the bars that cage it. If Minato had one ounce more energy, he would rage too, but— Anger is a luxury right now, an indulgence. He can't afford it.

Me and my husband, watching a martial arts film] Me: See, now this is how the Jedi should have recruited their Padawans: you find some dude and then challenge him to a fight, and if he kicks your ass you then have to beg him to teach you.

In which Minato is a Sky, Obito is his Guardian, and everything gets fucked beyond measure.

"Reborn!" "You weren't taking your training seriously, and I decided to take a leaf out of your current favourite manga, Dame-Tsuna. You should recognise the game." "You didn't." He'd been reading Sword Art Online, and of course Reborn would think that full immersion into a video game was a fantastic idea.

Tsuna isn't a hardcore gamer, and neither is Yamamoto. But Sword Art Online is the world's first VRMMORPG; who wouldn't be excited for the official launch? ... Before the 'death game' part of it was introduced, of course. (And the chaos doesn't stop there.)

in which I repost fics of various length that I posted on tumblr based on a specific modern 'verse that was discussed with one or more anons on my tumblr a while ago. Premise: Jon is still R+L but went to live with the Starks around five-ish after both his parents pretty much realized they bit off more than they could chew. Features extra Jon Connington being the responsible adult, Robb being a gift, the Tullys being fairly great people and so on. Specific ficlets: 1) jon connington comes clean with rhaegar about his feelings in a way he hadn't predicted; 2) jon c. finds out that rhaegar named his kid after him; 3) robb is *extremely* invested in making sure jon's first birthday party turns out great (ned/cat, robb & jon); 4) robb takes his brotherly duties with jon very seriously, good for everyone involved; 5) jon's first christmas with the starks *and* tullys; 6) how jon c. and brynden tully get together in this 'verse and realize they're actually perfect for each other; 7) jon (snow) and ygritte have their first child... who looks like rhaegar, GENETICS!.

When Kaz explained the mission to her, he'd described a deep-sea fish whose scales could reverse the harmful, out of control magic that was razing the streets of Ketterdam. No one had expected to find this, a half-dead, half-Siren Shu floating in the depths of a ship.

modern au wen ning wears exclusively t shirts for metal bands with horrific names but he is so sweet and kind and quiet and accommodating that people forget to really think about this after a while, and then he’ll be listening to music looking peaceful and shy and someone will be like “what are you listening to” and he’ll be like oh :)! and extract an earbud to reveal loud, relentless screaming

By everyone’s agreement (except his own), Wen Ning was the sect leader. Of course, practically speaking, Nie Mingjue actually ran everything; he was the one with the experience in it, after all, and he claimed he was no good at teaching, which was the other thing they generally did. Other than, you know, the whole...fierce corpse thing.